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Since everyone's doing it...
- Thread starter Willyumyum
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Willyumyum
New member
I'm man enough, I'll do it and then bump this thread or make a new one and let you know how it went 
... I'd be more of a man if you post one of those funny ass stories you used to write on the board though 
I still have them saved on my comp, too funny bro....
YUM
... I'd be more of a man if you post one of those funny ass stories you used to write on the board though I still have them saved on my comp, too funny bro....YUM
Nathan
New member
Okay, well, in the spirit of increasing your manhood:
This one time, I shaved a gorilla and hung a bag of squirrels (I should really stop picking on them) from his genitalia. Now, I feel I should mention that going anywhere near the genitalia of a gorilla is generally not a good idea, unless, of course, you are properly trained, which I (fortunately) am. Anyway, so there I was - standing beside a shaved gorilla with a bag full of squirrels hanging from his genitalia (there was a good 12 or 13 in there). I got to thinking, " What, just what if I could somehow turn this whole experience into a profitable one? So I quickly smeard peanut butter (the natural kind of course) all over the bag containing the squirrels (again, proper training is important here) and, moreover, placed a dozen almonds on the top of the gorilla's head. Fortunately, a suspiciously large crowd had formed by that time and so I began taking bets on how long it would take the squirrels to chew through the bag and get to the top of the gorillas head. Well, needless to say, it didn't take long and I made a pant-load of money. Have you ever seen a gorilla giggle by the way? It is an experience one should not go without...experiencing? Fuck, I'm running outta words.
Anyway, not my best work Idon't think but I'm kinda tired. Hoe you liked it Will.
This one time, I shaved a gorilla and hung a bag of squirrels (I should really stop picking on them) from his genitalia. Now, I feel I should mention that going anywhere near the genitalia of a gorilla is generally not a good idea, unless, of course, you are properly trained, which I (fortunately) am. Anyway, so there I was - standing beside a shaved gorilla with a bag full of squirrels hanging from his genitalia (there was a good 12 or 13 in there). I got to thinking, " What, just what if I could somehow turn this whole experience into a profitable one? So I quickly smeard peanut butter (the natural kind of course) all over the bag containing the squirrels (again, proper training is important here) and, moreover, placed a dozen almonds on the top of the gorilla's head. Fortunately, a suspiciously large crowd had formed by that time and so I began taking bets on how long it would take the squirrels to chew through the bag and get to the top of the gorillas head. Well, needless to say, it didn't take long and I made a pant-load of money. Have you ever seen a gorilla giggle by the way? It is an experience one should not go without...experiencing? Fuck, I'm running outta words.
Anyway, not my best work Idon't think but I'm kinda tired. Hoe you liked it Will.
Willyumyum
New member
Nathan said:
O man, that is some hillarious shit... HAHAAHAH ...
Me and my manhood thank you for that hahahahahaa EDIT - I cant stop laughing...
YUM
Last edited:
Willyumyum
New member
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....
Two more pricless works by Nathan:
This one time, at the gym again, I was lying on a bench and trying to see how heavy a dumbell I could rest on my genitals before passing out. A strange old man came up to me then and asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained to him that you have to train your genitals just like every other bodypart by using heavy free weights. So, after spotting him on a few sets of testicle tormentors, as I like to call them, I went off on my own to attempt to tie my testicles in a knot while holding as many pennies between my ass cheeks as possible. I had like 17 in there or something and was a half twist away from a kick-ass knot when I overhear this really hot chick say to her fugly friend, "You know, I'll bet he's an animal in bed." I thought to myself then that if I could squeeze another 8 pennies in my ass and maybe a few quarters this chick (the fugly one of course) would probably cream her pants right there and then. Well, I got those 8 extra pennies in there and even 3 quarters, but upon trying to cram a fourth quarter in (so I got greedy), I lost my concentration and all the change I had been so diligently manipulating with my ass went tumbling to the floor. After sobbing for a good 20 minutes from disappointment those girls didn't want anything to do with me and, yet again, I got asked to never return to that gym. That's my gym story.
AND
So this one time, I'm in the park across the street from where I live, trying to see how many cans of soda I can stand having placed in the bag hanging from a string that's attached to my testicles, as I often do. Anyway, this 4'3" 50lb eldery lady walks up to me and says, "Excuse me. I don't thing your 'giggleberries' can take any more weight. Try hanging them from your 'twig'." Naturally, that kind of negative attitude just pissed me off. I responded with a rabbit punch to her jaw (you can never be sure just how much agility, strength and speed those old ladies are concealing). I rapidly followed with a running drop-kick to her chest. She didn't get up. After that whole episode, I was having trouble getting pumped up enough to tolerate more cans of soda than ever before so I gave that up for the day and moved on to trying to catch squirrels with my teeth as they ran by. They don't like that but I don't really care. The trick to a successful catch is to not fool yourself but thinking you can get them around the neck area. You've got to aim for the head, but hope for the tail.
YUM
Two more pricless works by Nathan:
This one time, at the gym again, I was lying on a bench and trying to see how heavy a dumbell I could rest on my genitals before passing out. A strange old man came up to me then and asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained to him that you have to train your genitals just like every other bodypart by using heavy free weights. So, after spotting him on a few sets of testicle tormentors, as I like to call them, I went off on my own to attempt to tie my testicles in a knot while holding as many pennies between my ass cheeks as possible. I had like 17 in there or something and was a half twist away from a kick-ass knot when I overhear this really hot chick say to her fugly friend, "You know, I'll bet he's an animal in bed." I thought to myself then that if I could squeeze another 8 pennies in my ass and maybe a few quarters this chick (the fugly one of course) would probably cream her pants right there and then. Well, I got those 8 extra pennies in there and even 3 quarters, but upon trying to cram a fourth quarter in (so I got greedy), I lost my concentration and all the change I had been so diligently manipulating with my ass went tumbling to the floor. After sobbing for a good 20 minutes from disappointment those girls didn't want anything to do with me and, yet again, I got asked to never return to that gym. That's my gym story.
AND
So this one time, I'm in the park across the street from where I live, trying to see how many cans of soda I can stand having placed in the bag hanging from a string that's attached to my testicles, as I often do. Anyway, this 4'3" 50lb eldery lady walks up to me and says, "Excuse me. I don't thing your 'giggleberries' can take any more weight. Try hanging them from your 'twig'." Naturally, that kind of negative attitude just pissed me off. I responded with a rabbit punch to her jaw (you can never be sure just how much agility, strength and speed those old ladies are concealing). I rapidly followed with a running drop-kick to her chest. She didn't get up. After that whole episode, I was having trouble getting pumped up enough to tolerate more cans of soda than ever before so I gave that up for the day and moved on to trying to catch squirrels with my teeth as they ran by. They don't like that but I don't really care. The trick to a successful catch is to not fool yourself but thinking you can get them around the neck area. You've got to aim for the head, but hope for the tail.
YUM
SofaGeorge
New member
ironbarbarian said:
Ditto. It's almost a little scarry. Have you been following me in the gym?
Willyumyum
New member
SofaGeorge said:
Damnit... Have I been that obvious? I'll have to be a little more covert next time I'm tailing someone....
YUM
SofaGeorge
New member
Re: HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....
I swear to God this story is true... and hopefully someone else who saw it will post to back me up.
About six years ago there was an ad running for months in the LA Weekly. (The LA Weekly is a widely distributed free paper in Los Angeles.) The caption read "LEARN TO LIFT 500 LBS WITH THE POWER OF YOUR PENIS!" The picture in the add showed this Korean dude with a towel wrapped around his waist. Coming out below the towel was a length of rope tied to a bunch of 45 lbs plates. (Not 500 lbs worth... but about 135 lbs.) The ad went on to describe how this school would train you to have a super dick that would be so powerful it could lift huge weights.
I saw this ad running for months and months. I at first thought it had to be some kind of joke... like a radio station stunt or something. But when it kept running and running... finally I broke down and called just to see what they were all about. It turned out to be this kooky Korean school that was totally serious about training you to lift weights with your dick.
I told a couple friends at the gym that I had called the ad. They had all seen it. We were all a bit in shock that they were serious.
Willyumyum said:
I swear to God this story is true... and hopefully someone else who saw it will post to back me up.
About six years ago there was an ad running for months in the LA Weekly. (The LA Weekly is a widely distributed free paper in Los Angeles.) The caption read "LEARN TO LIFT 500 LBS WITH THE POWER OF YOUR PENIS!" The picture in the add showed this Korean dude with a towel wrapped around his waist. Coming out below the towel was a length of rope tied to a bunch of 45 lbs plates. (Not 500 lbs worth... but about 135 lbs.) The ad went on to describe how this school would train you to have a super dick that would be so powerful it could lift huge weights.
I saw this ad running for months and months. I at first thought it had to be some kind of joke... like a radio station stunt or something. But when it kept running and running... finally I broke down and called just to see what they were all about. It turned out to be this kooky Korean school that was totally serious about training you to lift weights with your dick.
I told a couple friends at the gym that I had called the ad. They had all seen it. We were all a bit in shock that they were serious.
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