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Ever want to just dissapear?

Austin316

Austin316

Chairman
Chairman Member
Lately Ive hated pretty much 75% of my life, its all been a downward spiral for 8 weeks and keeps going down..Im in a funk, Im depressed, and Im just tired out..I wonder if anyone would really even care if I were to just *poof* dissapear, asides from my family, everyone else would be fine within a week..I just feel like Ive got shit to offer and not worth a damn, alls Ive done lately is fail at things...I just wish I could fucking crawl in a hole and disapear, Im sick of this feeling, its eating me, I guess I need to up my anti depressant medication, too much stress is making me think bad things
 
Austin...

You really need to get your head out of your butt. How do you think you are ever going to get anywhere with this is you don't start changing your thought processes? You may be depressed, but literally trying to change the way you think will help you out a lot.

I don't know what exactly to tell you, but I have felt the same way before...and this is what I did. I got up off my butt and went to the gym, went for a walk outside...did some things on my own. You have to be happy with yourself from the inside out and I am still struggling with that daily, Just ask bikinimom.

Seriously, go to a movie, go shopping for no reason, go to a coffee house and read a good book...GET OFF THE COMPUTER!!!!!!! I know that you really like to 'play' on it...but do something that requires movement...get your endorphins flowing. Go ask a random girl that you know out for this weekend. (I know you are shy....but it would help you out a lot.) What do you have to lose?

Get off your butt and quit worrying about things that you have absolutely no control over. Occupy your mind with other things. I know it is hard, believe me...but you have to do your best. Try and look at the positive side of everything. It pays off, I promise.
 
I tried the shopping thing for 2 hours today, 2 malls and best buy, worked until I saw someone whom I want to kill (my old boss) that just set me off again.....Im just sick of things
 
Austin316 said:
I tried the shopping thing for 2 hours today, 2 malls and best buy, worked until I saw someone whom I want to kill (my old boss) that just set me off again.....Im just sick of things
Click to expand...

Then go someplace where you know you won't run into anyone that you know. No excuses here, Austin...this IS YOUR life, ya know.

Sorry if I didn't help any....I guess I am just releasing my frustrations out on this thread, too. LOL
 
Take a road trip. A complete change of scenery. Go for a day or just a couple hours, just get out and look at something new.
 
Only reason I was there was because I was going to apply at this restaurant right by it but they didn't have any openings so whatever...god I wish I still had a job, that would of been a life saver for taking up time
 
PinK233 said:
bouncy bouncy bouncy....

cheer up sweetie....I would surely be upset if you went *poof* :(
Click to expand...

Yea Im ok now, and I would def not want you to be upset, ur not gonna get out of seein me that easily lol
 
Go on a date with some Female Nympho Bi-sexual Incest Twins! You may feel "dirty" in the morning, but you will have one hell of a story to tell!
 
I too would be greatly upset if a wonderful person like you went poof!! And the world would be one less wonderful person!! Don't do that to this messy world we live in!!


PS... you're silly
 
Baby, Nightfly was 100% CORRECT! TRUE happiness comes from WITHIN - not from a man/woman/child/job/puppy.... NONE OF IT!

It took me 26 years and a VERY BITTER divorce to find what makes me happy.... ME!

Am I frustrated as hell that a relationship that I am in is just MADDENING AS HELL?! YES! Would I like to choke the ever-loving FUCK out of him for being a boneheaded JACKASS?! YES! Will I die without him in my life?

THAT IS A BIG FAT FUCKING NO!

True love is not measured by whether or not two people can live without each other - DEFINITELY NOT!

Baby, you have got to learn to love yourself BEFORE you can learn to love another.

Our situations are similar in that they may be frustrating as hell, but yet they are VERY different.

I am not depressed and feeling that my life holds no meaning without him.... I have PLENTY in life to make it full. He is but a small part of the big picture.... or maybe not even that much if HE DOES not want to be or if I decide that I have had enough and reagardless of what he wants - I DON'T WANT HIM THERE.
 
Austin, I've felt that exact same way on many occasions. I'm glad you spoke up, so you can see how silly that way of thinking is!!! Here is someone else who would be very upset if you went *poof*, and I don't even know you all that well yet. So don't say that BS about how only your family would care. It is obvious that you affect more people than you even realize, you got that? You need to find something else to occupy your time/thoughts with....Find something you are interested in doing and occupy yourself with that, e.g, read that epic novel you never thought you would read, learn a new instrument, paint, build car models, find more campus modeling jobs(lol), you get the point...:)
 
:devil:
Never! I want this ride to last forever! Sounds like your depression comes from not having a job at this time. Keep looking and you'll find one.
 
Austin--sorry to hear that things are so bleak for you right now. Just try to keep in mind that what you are going through is only for a short while and when you look back and see the big picture, it will not seam near as bad. Keep your eyes on the horizon and remember that hard times develop character, if you allow them to.

I Peter 5:7

[7] Cast all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
 
Thanks you guys, and especially thanks to Lil for checking up on me your a sweetheart, and or course Pink for having the uncanny ability to calm me down, make me laugh, and then of course be able to smile right now...Your the best

Today was one of those days, I need to get y life on track, im the only one that can do that with support of course, but its gotta be me...I can't go on like this, I don't plan on going poof though, your all stuck with me
 
I'm feeling better than I did a few hours ago.

I fucked that little 18 year old bitch... and then I gave her a pretty healthy facial.

And, my roommate recorded it for me. Gotta love the dig cam's.

That video will be a source of stress relief... probably for the rest of my life.

The look of surprise and the little 'ew' she peeps out is priceless... you can really tell she had no idea I was going to do it... as this was the first time I did it to her.

So... there's an idea for ya.
--
 
Crazier said:
I'm feeling better than I did a few hours ago.

I fucked that little 18 year old bitch... and then I gave her a pretty healthy facial.

And, my roommate recorded it for me. Gotta love the dig cam's.

That video will be a source of stress relief... probably for the rest of my life.

The look of surprise and the little 'ew' she peeps out is priceless... you can really tell she had no idea I was going to do it... as this was the first time I did it to her.

So... there's an idea for ya.
--
Click to expand...

If that's true, you live the life of a pornstar.

:D
 
huntmaster said:
Crazier, you should have more respect for women.
Click to expand...

I have the utmost respect for women.

No shit my friend.

I treat women as they are... the fruit of the earth.

This little girl likes to play... last week she swallowed my load... a few days before that I fucked her doggystyle while she wore handcuffs...

We never kiss each other. We have a very good buddy relationship. She squirted all over my bed three times tonight... because of that, she continues to come back... even if a little cum lands on her face.

We use each other for the same reasons... we call each other in the middle of the week, figure out which day on the weekend we're going to get toghther, and that's that. I don't see any disrespect.

I even got up afterward and got her some papertowels. ;)

Tell you what... Like always... I'll wait for her to call me... if she's butt-hurt and doesn't call... so be it.

Deal? :)
--
 
Austin, I know we don't talk much on here, but take a goodlook at your signature and try and realize maybe what you might have meant by putting there for everyone to see. Then ask your self why the fuck did you start this thread.
Once that has happened you should realize that everything isn't as bad as it seems.
 
casavant said:
two questions:

Did you just come off a cycle? And what kind of anti-d are you on?
Click to expand...

That's a good point. It seems that most people that come off a cycle go into depression. There is a very good reason behind that... it sucks to go back to the life you were at prior to juice.

Peyote's got a good point Austin... And remember you will make it through, cuz all you need is the air that you breathe, and your friends and family to believe in you. ;)
--
 
Crazier said:


That's a good point. It seems that most people that come off a cycle go into depression. There is a very good reason behind that... it sucks to go back to the life you were at prior to juice.
Click to expand...

Yep. I'm at the end of my third week being completely off, and it sucks some ass. No energy, less sure of myself, stressing out over little things and generally not having a very good time with life. Oh well- the yin and the yang, I guess.

Austin, get in the gym and get those endorphins kicking. It can help a lot.
 
Peyote, yea the sig is something that I believe in very much, now I just gotta get back ahold of the reigns and take control before anything consumes me, Im feeling better today but I got a very long ways to go before I can consider myself back to being in my normal state of mind, everything happens for a reason though and Ive learned a ton of shit through all of this, we'll see what happens next, fututre is undetermined as always
 
BTW, Im still on a cycle however Ive been off of fina and winny for 2 weeks and am only on eq..I am taking effexor
 
Austin316 said:
BTW, Im still on a cycle however Ive been off of fina and winny for 2 weeks and am only on eq..I am taking effexor
Click to expand...

The hormone fluctuation may have something to do with your moods.
 
Austin316 said:
Im scared of the clomid period lol
Click to expand...

I hear that my friend. You'll re-program your radio so you'll be sure and get Delilah for all those lonely nights.

She'll make ya cry! :bawling: :bawling: But you'll love the music.

'I was just did in your arms tonight, must have been something you said.' etc; etc; etc... :D :D
--
 
I'm on day seven of clomid and I haven't gotten any emotional sides yet. I am shooting a considerably larger wad of junk, however.:D
 
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