I Can Resurrect The Dead!

[addickt]

This thread is getting really kickass..but I got a quick question for addict..how do you catch the fly-I don't have any chop sticks../.?

Grab one that is gathering around Insanos mom's crotch... They are plentiful, and the putrid smell seems to slow them down substantially.

 

[Captain_insano]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I Can Resurrect The Dead!

Mothers? I have multiple Mothers? No wonder I can resurrect flies..

In all seriousness..... That was about the weakest thing you have ever said..

At least you didnt bust out with " sticks and stones" or similar semantical genious.

It's all good, I am bored by your nonsense. If you spent as much time in Rehab as you do on this board you'd might not be on the verge of extinction. Go piss some more blood and put clorox in your veins you fucking freak.

I am going to train now so you are dissmissed.

Peace
Insano

 

[addickt]

Lord of the Flies??


thank you, thank you very much

I have the Conch and that is all that matters..

Piggy

 

[addickt]

lol-seriously though.. can you use one of those strips or wait till they get hung up in a window..I have to show my manager this.

I wait until they land on a table or something and then give them the "swoop".

I have about a 95% success rate... It isnt as hard as one would think.. Especially when the temp gets down around 60 or so..

They dont stand a chance.

The most diffucult part is transferring them from the fist into your finger... for placement into the "holy" water...

I usually give them a quick shake first as it seems to stun them..

P.S. .......... that step is largely unneccessary if the fly is procured from Insanos Mothers nether region as they are " pre-stunned"

 

[SofaGeorge]

As Addickt is my dearest friend in the online world and face to face, I can testify that he is in fact capable of doing this. The flies are not trained. Most of them can't even read.

While he does train a variety of insects for an assortment of secret purposes (A- feel free to expand on this if you wish), his words are true.

Raina, after reading your post I decided, "Gosh darn it. Maybe this does work." So I went ahead and tried it again on those two little girls I told you about. It didn't work at all on the first one... even though I used a bunch of salt. Then, when I tried it on the second one I did get her to sputter and burp up water a little... but nothing more than that. She's still as purple as Barney the Dinosaur.

Even worse, when the police started looking for 'em... they came right to my house this time. I'd already put 'em both back in the wading pool and I had to make up this really dumb story for the cops about how maybe the neighborhood had this serial wading pool killer. The guy from the newspaper who came to interview me really liked the name and he wrote this big dumb article about the "Wading Pool Killer" and now it's going in a bunch of detective magazines. (The cool part though is I got to meet that guy John Walsh from AMERICA'S MOST WANTED when he and his crew came to film my back yard. They even gave me an AMW baseball cap I can wear.)

I got really lucky and it turned out the old guy who lived at the end of the block was one of those Megan's Law guys who is supposed to register with the police. (He was a school teacher and had to retire about 30 years ago when they caught him with kiddie porn in his garage.) Well, lucky for me he hadn't registered like he was supposed to and the cops zero'd right in on him. They dragged him out of the house in his underwear and he was all screaming and crying about how he was 86 years old and on supplemental oxygen and had been impotent for 20 something years. (The whiney pus!) Well, while the cops were giving him the rubber hose treatment and waiting to get a search warrant... I reached in the window of his house and dropped some of the girls' stuff... you know little overalls and hair bows and stuff... and that basket of cookies they brought me. The cops should the stuff to the girls' moms and they decided it had to be him... so I'm pretty much off the hook this time... but I'm a little worried that my luck is gonna run out if I keep trying this.

Are you really really sure it works? We've only got one little kid left in the neighborhood.

 

[addickt]

Raina, after reading your post I decided, "Gosh darn it. Maybe this does work." So I went ahead and tried it again on those two little girls I told you about. It didn't work at all on the first one... even though I used a bunch of salt. Then, when I tried it on the second one I did get her to sputter and burp up water a little... but nothing more than that. She's still as purple as Barney the Dinosaur.

Even worse, when the police started looking for 'em... they came right to my house this time. I'd already put 'em both back in the wading pool and I had to make up this really dumb story for the cops about how maybe the neighborhood had this serial wading pool killer. The guy from the newspaper who came to interview me really liked the name and he wrote this big dumb article about the "Wading Pool Killer" and now it's going in a bunch of detective magazines. (The cool part though is I got to meet that guy John Walsh from AMERICA'S MOST WANTED when he and his crew came to film my back yard. They even gave me an AMW baseball cap I can wear.)

I got really lucky and it turned out the old guy who lived at the end of the block was one of those Megan's Law guys who is supposed to register with the police. (He was a school teacher and had to retire about 30 years ago when they caught him with kiddie porn in his garage.) Well, lucky for me he hadn't registered like he was supposed to and the cops zero'd right in on him. They dragged him out of the house in his underwear and he was all screaming and crying about how he was 86 years old and on supplemental oxygen and had been impotent for 20 something years. (The whiney pus!) Well, while the cops were giving him the rubber hose treatment and waiting to get a search warrant... I reached in the window of his house and dropped some of the girls' stuff... you know little overalls and hair bows and stuff... and that basket of cookies they brought me. The cops should the stuff to the girls' moms and they decided it had to be him... so I'm pretty much off the hook this time... but I'm a little worried that my luck is gonna run out if I keep trying this.

Are you really really sure it works? We've only got one little kid left in the neighborhood.

It works for flies...

It takes a while though, a few minutes.

 

[HumorMe]

Are you really really sure it works? We've only got one little kid left in the neighborhood.

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

I think the owner of this thread should have electrodes inserted into their nipples and then be hooked up to the alternator on my corvette.

 

[HumorMe]

I think the owner of this thread should have electrodes inserted into their nipples and then be hooked up to the alternator on my corvette.

Hell....knowing him, he would probably like that!

 

[addickt]

I think the owner of this thread should have electrodes inserted into their nipples and then be hooked up to the alternator on my corvette.

Mother fucker I can resurrect dead beings........

Just cause no one will try it and just wants to make fun of it doesnt change that fact..

Resurrecting the dead is a much greater feat than anyone else on here can claim..

My Nipples would explode with gyno tissue anyways.

(Unless, you count Insanos dick sucking prowess)