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i got into the most surreal disagreement with my kid

stilleto

ELITE MENTOR
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not sure if i'm annoyed or proud.

my daughter's best friend is this boy, "B". My daughter once told me that B's father is huge and gross and just sits in front of a computer all day and has terminal cancer. B has 3 siblings, 1 of whom is 18 and mentally retarded. As she told me this, I realized that I have seen a woman at the grocery store who looks INSANE walking around with a retarded adult boy and a few younger kids. I described her and my daughter said it sounded just like B's mom.

Well today we went to the grocery store and there she was. My daughter introduced us and the woman was... indescribable. She wears a long, matted wig. her real hair is a different color, and she pins it to the wig in strange places that stick UP(hard to describe, but I know what I saw). She has 1 tooth, and it's rotted. She wore ORANGE lipstick all over her mouth. I mean, not necessarily on her lips, and not covering all of her lips either- it was mostly on the rest of her face- like on her cheeks and chin. She wore a LOT of clothes that were mismatched and a little dirty - long flowery skirt, leopard tights, white old lady sandals, different flowery blouse, sparkly tank top, dirty scarf around her neck, fake rings on every finger, string tight around her fingers, and magic marker on her arms.

So this woman goes on about how nice my daughter is, and that "B" is her favorite child of hers and that he's such a good, smart boy. She asked if i worked and I said I do. I asked if she worked and she said, "no. believe it or not, I have a college degree (i guess she knows she doesn't look like she would) but since my husband has stage 4 cancer, I get paid by the state to take care of him."

Then she said that maybe one day we could go out for coffee. I said, "uh. sure." and she said that she doesn't drive so I would have to and she might have to bring her (retarded) son with her.
I said, "well I don't have much time because I work, but if i do, i'll call you."

So at home, my daughter kept telling me how nice she is and I stayed quiet. I asked her what their house was like and she said she's not sure because it's always dark, but that B gets straight As and takes care of his family- he's the one that makes sure the rent is paid, etc.
She asked if i was going to have coffee with B's mom and I said, "no."
Now she's mad at me because I'm judging her. I said, "yeah, I am. She looks insane. i'm sure she's very nice, but I don't have to have her in my car or house and I don't want to have coffee with her. I have plenty of friends."
But she's still mad at me for just saying no.
 
Wow... I must say you paint quiet the mental picture. I think I would have responded in the same way as you. Crazy.
 
the only solution is to find a friend with the slimiest, most vile kid ever, and arrange a playdate with your daughter.
 
oh and for the record i think your daughter is being pretty unreasonable. it's not your responsibility to bolster her social relationships
 
why the fuck would u wanna go to coffee with a meth head? id be like "no i aint goin cofee wit no crwakhead and you cant go over there no more, u best not be seein B anymore"

and if
 
how old is your daughter?

she's 14.
on one hand, i'm proud because my daughter is seriously pretty (i know, she's my kid so I would think that, but she really is stunning looking) and has friends of all shapes and sizes and money- from very very wealthy to... uh.. this kid.

She KNOWS i would never go anyplace with this woman. I was embarrassed to be talking to her in the grocery store. When i've seen her there in the past, I couldn't stop staring at her... she's... a freak!
 
Wow... I must say you paint quiet the mental picture. I think I would have responded in the same way as you. Crazy.

I've really never seen anything like this woman walking around.
her kids look clean, but I wonder if she's ever given the state a reason to look at her. I mean, "B" is a good kid, but maybe he's the only "adult" in the house.
 
No, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Why would you want to have coffee with a complete stranger anyway, unless for some reason the two of you just clicked instantly? It really doesn't matter what said person looks like. But hey, congratulations for raising a kid that doesn't judge people on their looks, especially if she is "stunning". Sounds like a good kid.
 
No, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Why would you want to have coffee with a complete stranger anyway, unless for some reason the two of you just clicked instantly? It really doesn't matter what said person looks like. But hey, congratulations for raising a kid that doesn't judge people on their looks, especially if she is "stunning". Sounds like a good kid.

thanks. :)
she's understanding now. I explained that i have friends that look all different- I don't care if they are short, tall, ugly, pretty, etc. But they have to have a lifestyle that I'm interested in sharing.

I also reminded her that there's a reason why she would be mortified if i showed up to her school in my pj's... :)
 
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