Do perfect people write & say positive affirmations?

[calveless wonder]

I've never been let down by expecting people to fuck up their basic duties or unforeseen sticky problems. An overly optimistic attitude is what created the internet and housing bubbles...shit doesn't go up forever. I sold my tech stocks a few months before the crash and avoided the internet bubble because I knew people were overly optimistic and too caught up in their greed to realize how over valued tech stocks were. Generally speaking, when people realize they need to implement their contingency plan, after abandoning their optimistic position, it's too late. I can give you a list of disasters where people didn't plan for the worst case scenario...the oil spill in the Gulf is the most recent.

The book "Code Complete" is the bible of software development and the basic rule for planning a software project is to take your estimate..double it and double it again.

there's a huge difference between blind optimism without reevaluating your position from time to time, and a well structured plan A that accounts for many factors you can potentially face.

Being optimistic and being an idiot with no plan or scope of the market are not mutually exclusive. it's not an excuse to not have a well laid out plan or being completely ignorant to what's realistic.

that's what people don't understand when they think it's stupid to optimistic.


If your well laid out plan is dependent on a lot of external variables also, which are harder to control, then the mindset is going to be a bit different. It depends on what you are trying to accomplish. Anything where you have little direct control over is going to be much more difficult to attain.

 

[ledhead]

This is exactly the type of thinking that essentially leads to mediocrity in life. But hey, if you're happy with mediocrity, go with that.

No, that's exact type of thinking that helps you discern egocentric people from humble
people. It's good to be confident as long it's in the realm of reality. I think the post was
about idealists who who are presumptuous and make boastful claims.

Define Mediocrity then I'll give you my answer.

People who use affirmations obviously realize they are not the things they consist of in the affirmation. They don't go around with a sense of entitlement. They construe these statements as merely a tool to shift the paradigm of their internal thought process. In psychology, narcissism is ACTIVELY displayed on the conscious level, so there is a huge difference. Before you go throwing around blanket terms, i think you should realize what the terms actually entail.

Before you going around giving definitions of Psych terms I think you need to realise what
they mean. Your not Dr. Elsa Ronningstam who studied Narcissism for 40 yrs.
What UNDERWRAPS noted was all traits of Narcissism ( Boasting what they have and how
great their lives are (lovers of their selves) narcissism in the highest form. Which when
you constantley brag about you self all the time it's on a conscious level.

It's a tool to shift the subconscious which is incapable of cognitive function and deciphering reality from truth. So whatever message is delivered, it will manifest on a subconscious level which ultimately results in the gearing of your actions or autopilot. You never actually THINK about these things. they just occur.

So in essance you really believe your something special living in Never Never land
(delusions of grandeur) which usually starts in the subconscious but eventually ends up
in the conscious.Beacause you constantly entertain those thoughts.

The fact successful people use affirmations as well as goal setting (concrete goal setting...as in SMART goals. Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely/timeframe) is not a coincidence. Success has to start internally or else you either fall into it by accident (i.e. some people achieve what might be deemed success from an external standpoint though fear.... i.e. fear of being poor, fear of being not good enough) or spin your wheels trying to achieve it. in the case of fear driven success, to most people in that position it's not really success. They may have worked really hard in order to avoid their fear, but that doesn't mean they "feel" like a success even though by society's standards they have a great job and a lot of money.

I'll give you that one for the most part. But define success, there are 1000 members here
on EF, and i bet the farm you would have at least 500 different interpetations of success.

Only about 1-2% of the population writes their goals down in the proper manner or looks at them on a regular basis. Maybe half that use affirmations. Guess how many people in the world are usually considered successful?

Who determines who's successful or not. Some stupid case study. The most successful
people IMO are the one's who are humble and don't have to boast about what they have, and
what they have accomplished or going to accomplish. People with low self esteem do those things which is another trait of narcissism.

 

[cindylou]

ledhead, clear out your PM's

 

[trex74]

I think affirmations work. They can create and reinforce healthy attitudes/states of mind.
I think the ones that use a positive message that says that the healthy attitude already exists works better (I am vs I can be).
As for perfect people, I am always turned off by people who act as though their lives are perfect. I believe that friendship and rapport is built on sharing some of our most vulnerable aspects-essentially telling the other person: "Hey, I am not perfect, but I try hard, and I am going to do my best every day to get along in life and be an authentic person. You might not always be happy with me, you might not like the things I say, but I am going to be honest about who I am and what I want, and what you see is what you get. I'm not going to be fake, or pretend that my life is shiny and perfect".

 

[-Ariel-]

Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.

 

[ledhead]

Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.

You just destroyed Erik Erikson's Psychosocial development theory.

Nevertheless, if it's any consolation too you !! I liked your post, very good!!!

 

[digimon7068]

Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.

i fuck up waaaay too much to be concerned with not fucking up...i'm pretty happy most of the time too

 

[-Ariel-]

i fuck up waaaay too much to be concerned with not fucking up...i'm pretty happy most of the time too

LOL...
Yeah, I know, U worry alot... U got a good ratio of worry/take action ratio.

Somehow, u got a radar that allows you to associate reward, with being uncomfortable, or anxious.

There are studies being done on specifying the increments.

Really, it's just common sense.

Hey, this is an excellent book on raising kids, that way.

www.mindsetonline.com

 

[trex74]

Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.

Interesting. I went to the website http://www.mindsetonline.com/testyourmindset/results.php
and took the test out of curiosity. I got 8/8 for growth mindset.
The questions were very repetitive though. Why is that?

 

[ricco561]

No, I don't.