Married People!

[HumorMe]

Marriage is something you must wake up every day and DO. It's not getting married at 26 and telling yourself "I love her just the way she is, I hope she never changes"... and cross your fingers. If you think like that, you WILL get divorced. You MUST WORK every day of a marriage to make it a good one.

I'm not saying the "work" is hard or undesirable, but it IS work. You have to listen, trust, CHANGE, because you WILL change, as your spouse will change as well. How the hell do you know what you'll be doing at 40 when you're 26? You LIVE LIFE WITH your spouse and change together, live together, make compromises together.... Hopefully you chose an understanding, smart, thoughful, generous.... spouse, and YOU better be the same way... or you will get divorced.

Don't even get me started on children.

I'm married 8+ years now, and have changed a ton, so has my wife. We've changed TOGETHER for US and our relationship. Had I been with another woman, I may have changed in a different way to suit and comfort that other person.

Marriage is a bond that two people make to HELP each other grow. It's not a "I hope she does'nt change" race.

MOLD each other for the benefit of both of you..

Do it.

Thanks Dr. Phil.

 

[HiDnGoD]

Oh, & one other thing. When you get married, move far far far away from your families.
With us, I left behind my circle of single friends (they never wanted to visit), & My wife left her family & all her friends. We lived in Germany for 2 yrs with no social network except what we developed together. We only had each other 2 depend on, & that made us communicate. it was actually much harder on my wife, than on me.

 

[seizer]

Oh, & one other thing. When you get married, move far far far away from your families.
With us, I left behind my circle of single friends (they never wanted to visit), & My wife left her family & all her friends. We lived in Germany for 2 yrs with no social network except what we developed together. We only had each other 2 depend on, & that made us communicate. it was actually much harder on my wife, than on me.

When you moved to germany, was that a tactic to force yourselves to grown closer?

 

[seizer]

Do you guy's think people should live it up, kinda having fun and meeting lots of people before getting married, THEN settle down? Like say people are in their early twenties, meet up with someone totally made for them, yet, on the back of their mind, they feel like they need to leave the relationship just so that they can make sure their isnt "someone better for them". I bet ya alot of good couples ended for this reason...it scares me cause I feel like I might be the same way.

 

[JayC9]

We married "for better or for worse"....I couldn't do any better, she couldn't do any worse.

 

[spongebob]

marriage is like a box of chocolats...

just the way i like it.

 

[GrandMaster]

Do you guy's think people should live it up, kinda having fun and meeting lots of people before getting married, THEN settle down? Like say people are in their early twenties, meet up with someone totally made for them, yet, on the back of their mind, they feel like they need to leave the relationship just so that they can make sure their isnt "someone better for them". I bet ya alot of good couples ended for this reason...it scares me cause I feel like I might be the same way.

been in that situation, and they came running back


im in my20's and i wouldnt mind being settled down with the right one....if there is one out there for me,
a life long companion, someone you love and loves you to go home to...shit like that, im always a happier person when im in a relationship


but then again, i could be just fucked up lol

 

[bigmann245]

Do you guy's think people should live it up, kinda having fun and meeting lots of people before getting married, THEN settle down? Like say people are in their early twenties, meet up with someone totally made for them, yet, on the back of their mind, they feel like they need to leave the relationship just so that they can make sure their isnt "someone better for them". I bet ya alot of good couples ended for this reason...it scares me cause I feel like I might be the same way.

i thought the same thing early in my marriage. i thought i was missing out on things, thought i made the wrong choice, etc... but i soon realized it was part of growing up. when we dated i spent every waking moment with her. after work, weekends, holidays, then her parents invited me to live there. i said sure why not. but even though we dated for 3 years before we got married, it wasnt till after marriege that i thought i made a mistake. but then i looked back at the reasons i got married and stuck with them. i didnt miss anything, i created something. a beautiful life together with the woman i completely love. it hasent been easy. but we managed.

 

[HiDnGoD]

When you moved to germany, was that a tactic to force yourselves to grown closer?

Nah, I was in the army & that was my posting. I'd already lived there for a year. But most of my friends were single & almost all of them were heavy drinkers. Some didn't know how to handle a woman around, & others just didn't want a woman around. I basically stopped drinking when my wife came over after REFORGER.

 

[pintoca]

When you moved to germany, was that a tactic to force yourselves to grown closer?

in my case it was.

When we moved here, we were married for 2 years already, and hadn't lived together for more than 15 days in a row.