I think I am going to inflict something horrible on myself

[gjohnson5]

You tone has done a 180 from this post...
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/7544693-post1.html

1.

The only real reason for this is so that I can actually get high again.

The original reason does not sound like self medication at all. it sounds like you have an addiction and just want to get your fix... if this were for self medication reasons , Getting high would have nothing to with the reasons you are doing the drug


2. How do you have a self esteem problem?

After bouts of too much smoking from boredom, I get seriously disgusted with myself

Definitly sounds like a self estreem problem to me... Someone who was really high on them self wouldn't be boored sitting at home by themselves and doing drugs

3. This doesn't sound like someone who is asking for help???
I guess I just misread this below.

Obviously I need to get my hands on some other form of drug. Or I need to occupy myself. But how? Oh fuck. Help me.

Whatever... It sounds to me you need to find another way to medicate like seeing a doctor
my .02

What? How do I have self esteem problems? I'm way fucking full of myself these days don't you worry. I just deleted like 45 things I wrote because they all made me sound like an egomaniac.

I smoke pot for my own reasons. It just isn't working anymore. Mother fucker.

SHIT. I just remembered a huge hash connect I found on the weekend. Nevermind. Bots will do the trick.

 

[Phaded]

Dude, I'd be all over it. And then I'd go off and introduce myself to every pretty girl in your gym cause I'm a complete jackass like that and I'm totally in that mood right now - you might get at least a good laugh or two out of it too when I go after the ones who are like WHO THE FUCK IS THIS WEIRDO and rebuff me before I even get 5 feet from em. It'd keep me entertained for a couple hours though. One of the few percs of bouncing - eventually I clued in I was being paid $10 an hour to get punched at so was like fuck this, I WORK FOR NATE. Nah, I was good at my job when I thought it was merited.

lol chicks love confidence.. i'd give you mad props if you went up to the bitches in the gym and just struck up conversation.. not to mention i live right by ucf so my gym is completely crowded with hotties..

 

[Gambino]

i love blazing
though i haven't for a few days, and won't be able to again untill next week when i get home
i'm an addickt, but i can go long periods without my fix

 

[Smurfy]

lumberg says lexapro

 

[bones1435]

wow, how about some self control man. Just say no. (Do i get to call myself a recovering addict after one AA/NA meeting?)

 

[needtogetaas]

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[bones1435]

oh what the hell do YOU know......

 

[heavy_duty]

I traded in weed/hash and blow for martial arts a couple decades ago.
we use to buy 28 grams and smoke it all in 3 days (2 guys) we smoked due to boredom.

smoke - eat - relax - repeat ....did that for 10 years...

go see Jeff J. kick him in the balls then give him some money tell him you want to learn bjj. He's the coolest dude in H.

I might try not smoking any weed at all for the next few days. The only real reason for this is so that I can actually get high again. Also, my lungs feel fucking disgusting after this past weekend. I'm seriously grossed out by myself. After bouts of too much smoking from boredom, I get seriously disgusted with myself. I have yet to go days without it - or even a day for that matter - but I am holding out hope. Obviously I need to get my hands on some other form of drug. Or I need to occupy myself. But how? Oh fuck. Help me.

 

[Nathan]

lol chicks love confidence.. i'd give you mad props if you went up to the bitches in the gym and just struck up conversation.. not to mention i live right by ucf so my gym is completely crowded with hotties..

Dude, in a second. I'm in that mood these days - any girl you point out I'll go up to. And I always start with a joke (it's just they aren't always funny). Fly me down and we'll have some fun. I'm bored.

What is lexapro? Yeah, it's an addiction I guess. Oh well. Only when I'm not home I don't need it. It's a routine I am trying to break - I have broken it before I just need a stimulus. I also get locked into training routines and school routines so this whole penchant for "routines" does pay off in certain walks of life. In others, not so much.

See, self-control is a tricky thing. You can look at me and point your finger all you want but I find whenever I gain "control" over one aspect of my life (or feel like I am), I slip in another aspect.

I'm all over the map right now. Guys, I'm all over the place with EVERYTHING. Somebody should do a study on me for the next couple months - some seriously curious shit is going to go down. Hopefully this time I won't have laid waste to, like, my whole life when I come out the other end.

I'm still sober but I'm slipping fast. I finished this paper for publication this afternoon (save three references I have to find), went to the gym and did some heavy squats to hopefully tire myself out, ran a couple errands, got home and scrubbed the shower floor, then had a shower. I'm sitting here trying not to do anything stupid. If I smoke, that might happen.

And I can't stop typing. But hey, it's something to do.

 

[JayC9]

Obviously I need to get my hands on some other form of drug. /QUOTE]
Opium is the consummate mellow.