Family lawyer...custody battle...need help....Heather? Anyone?

[heatherrae]

And I may be biased too, because TN is particularly rough on this one. There's not common law marriage here, and I think there's nothing similar regarding children.

So here, you can live with a woman for 10 years, have a kid with her, then live with her and the kid 10 more years. You can pay every bill. You can live like the perfect married couple. But if you aren't married and there isn't a line of paternity linking the man to the child, he's got zero legal rights if she wants to take-off.

The guy's only recourse is to sue and from there he could gain rights to the child. Also, the woman only needs to say: "I never received child support payments" and if you don't have a written agreement or canceled checks that say: "child support", you didn't officially pay child support. So she can file for back child support was well -- even if you've provided 100% support for woman and child for those last 10 years.

But again, I bet every state varies too.

Kentucky is similar.

 

[puddlemonkey]

Children are overrated

 

[Bikini Mod]

My post had nothing to do with him asking her to give the child a paternity test, or even getting a paternity test done in general.

I was asking about legal paternity -- has it already been legally established? If his name isn't on the birth certificate or some other state-by-state method to establish paternity (and again, it varies by state), he'll have absolutely zero legal rights to the kid at this point.

I repeat, I understand that 100%. But I can tell you that SHE won't see it that way. There are certain things you just don't *suddenly* do (or at all) in some cultures.

Nobledude is in a REALLY tough spot. I feel for him. I genuinely do.

 

[mrplunkey]

I repeat, I understand that 100%. But I can tell you that SHE won't see it that way. There are certain things you just don't *suddenly* do (or at all) in some cultures.

Nobledude is in a REALLY tough spot. I feel for him. I genuinely do.

Ok, I'll admit I'm curious.

What exactly am I suggesting that Nobledude "do"?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ok, I'll admit I'm curious.

What exactly am I suggesting that Nobledude "do"?

You asked if he had paternity established. Last I heard most couples who are sure who fathered their child don't usually do this. Right?

Did your ex-wife ask you to take a DNA test? I know you were married so paternity was implied. I never felt the need to ask my exhusband to take a paternity test either as I knew where my coochie was at all times. 'Course now all these years later I wish that I had had at LEAST 4 momentary lapses in judgement when I was not in his presence (instead of the one that lasted 13 years while I was in his presence LOL).

Although I know many a married man who *surprize* *surprize* found out after the fact that the child who his wife gave birth to was NOT biologically his. Dated one in fact.... I felt badly for the poor guy. He never said a word to his ex even though he knew from the moment the child was born it was not his biological child and she knew he knew he never said a word. Even after they did divorce (after she gave birth to a child that he is fairly certain was his - though he never aksed her to take a test even though he knew she was screwing around the whole time they were married)his lawyer told him that he was not legally obligated to pay support for the one child. He insisted, said the child was his regardless.

You didn't tell Nobledude to do anything. It was implied by your question. That is all. Nothing more and nothing less.

Either way the dude is fucked.

 

[mrplunkey]

You asked if he had paternity established. Last I heard most couples who are sure who fathered their child don't usually do this. Right?

Did your ex-wife ask you to take a DNA test? I know you were married so paternity was implied. I never felt the need to ask my exhusband to take a paternity test either as I knew where my coochie was at all times. 'Course now all these years later I wish that I had had at LEAST 4 momentary lapses in judgement when I was not in his presence (instead of the one that lasted 13 years while I was in his presence LOL).

Although I know many a married man who *surprize* *surprize* found out after the fact that the child who his wife gave birth to was NOT biologically his. Dated one in fact.... I felt badly for the poor guy. He never said a word to his ex even though he knew from the moment the child was born it was not his biological child and she knew he knew he never said a word. Even after they did divorce (after she gave birth to a child that he is fairly certain was his - though he never aksed her to take a test even though he knew she was screwing around the whole time they were married)his lawyer told him that he was not legally obligated to pay support for the one child. He insisted, said the child was his regardless.

You didn't tell Nobledude to do anything. It was implied by your question. That is all. Nothing more and nothing less.

Either way the dude is fucked.

Go back and read my posts. I never said or implied that he go get a paternity test. Obviously telling someone you want to get a paternity test is a hostile move.

I asked him if his name was on the child's birth certificate. He should know that. I asked him if the child had his last name. He should know that too.

This has absolutely, totally, zero to do with taking some sort of DNA test. This is all about establishing legal paternity. If he hasn't established that then unfortunately yes, he'd have to go through lawsuits and medical tests to establish the link in the event things become hostile.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Go back and read my posts. I never said or implied that he go get a paternity test. Obviously telling someone you want to get a paternity test is a hostile move.

I asked him if his name was on the child's birth certificate. He should know that. I asked him if the child had his last name. He should know that too.

This has absolutely, totally, zero to do with taking some sort of DNA test. This is all about establishing legal paternity. If he hasn't established that then unfortunately yes, he'd have to go through lawsuits and medical tests to establish the link in the event things become hostile.

My bad. I thought that is what you were implying.

But it seems that we are both in agreement that were he to suddenly mention anything about a DNA test the shit would hit the fan.

Not to insult Nobledude but we've all heard the stories where after paying years of support (married or not) the poor guy found out that the child was NOT biologically his... then the state tells the guy, "Sorry but the bitch doesn't have to give the money back."

Poor guy, as we said.... he really IS fucked.

I really do not understand what motivates some people to be so cruel and hateful towards one another that they use their own children to fuck with their ex "just because they can."

I just don't get it at all.