The Reinvention of Yours Truly? A long read...

[Sebass67]

Is it going to come to pass..another yet refinement of myself. I am feeling that i have spread myself too thin to too many people and now am feeling like a side show entertainer. Like heck, iam all for odd stunts and things that test the status quo. But maybe i have crossed the line from someone who makes people think to someone who only makes people laugh. I am tired of being a laughing stock. I want to be taken seriously. I don't want to be just another enertaining character. I am tired and i am worn and now the path i have tread has left me at the brink of a crater i have made for myself. The leaving of my dorm comes with the realization that besides being someone that people can derive entertainment from i have accomplished very little in the scope of true friends. Than again, i have found 2 friends that may last a long time but neither live here. I have very little here besides small social groups where i thrive for conversation. But when has every conversation been done and when do things have a repicated quality to them? I think i may have crossed this line. Sadly, i have never had many friends who have yet to show their loyalty through actions instead of words and it bothers me because when one strips the enjoyment from someones company there is only the measure of loyaly left to judge them. It is exam time and i have sat and thought and watched the culmination of some things. They have only added to the annoyance i feel. No one is social during exams and i am feeling the gap. It's sad to think that when i was trying to just make others happy i will be forgotten in due time and remembered only by funny stunts that i have pulled. Is this something to be ashamed of? maybe not...maybe not.

Well, i can keep on writing but than i may put dust on your eyelids so with this in mind i have concluded.

Comments on the current situation? Reinvention?

 

[polarpixie]

.......dude, what'd you take tonight???

jk.


Refinement is always a good thing. Reinvention is not. Reinvention will only result in disappointment and failure. I'd write more...but I am extremely tired and my contacts are about to fall out.

 

[Taps]

Are you Johnny Ray? Are you Fay Wray?

Are you Jimmy Ray?

Who wants to know, who wants to know?

 

[Sebass67]

Actually, refinement was the word i was looking for...

 

[HumorMe]

Thumbs up to what polarpixie said!

I think refinement is what you are trying to accomplish and not reinvention. Nothing to be ashamed of if all you were trying to do was to get a laugh. There comes a time in a person's life when the only option left is to grow up and mature. Sometimes it slaps you in the face and you learn and other times it is something that gradually occurs. Either way, it's for the best. It's been one of the hardest things that I have had to deal with but one that I would not change. There's a time and place for everything.

To reinvent yourself, you would have to change everything about yourself, whereas, to refine yourself, you have to sharpen and hone what you already have. There is nothing wrong with getting crazy every now and then and letting loose.

True friends are hard to find and even harder to keep. True friends will never leave your side during trying times and they expect the same in return. Pick and choose your "true" friends wisely.

 

[Sebass67]

Yeah..exactly..see the thing with me and i don't mean to sound arrogant or anything, is that i have a crapload of different skills that i can hone. Well, i think some things may go in the underlying reserves and others may come up and shine through. I think that perhaps at new year i was trying this. Being more dressed up, more cleanly, and less talkative. Sometimes i feel like i am always the one starting conversations and i wish that some other people can strike them up with me. Hmmm...

One of my friends once noticed back in high school, "if i didn't say high to any of the people i knew than no one would even say hi at all."

I feel the same way.