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The Prodigal Son (of a b***h)
- Thread starter The_Monster
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The_Monster
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The bed. Well, it works out because I dont move around when Im asleep. If I roll I seem to pick myself up and move myself, not actually roll around to another spot on the bed. Plus I keep myself kind of "tucked in"... arms close to me and such. They are pretty much the same way. They are both 110-115 lbs so they dont take up much space anyway.
On top of that, we like to be close anyway, so a lot of the bed goes unused anyway...
Its a king size, actually a little bigger than a king. Oh, and I sleep in the middle, that way I can go left or right
Its nice to be back, and I look forward to having some (on topic) fun with all of you.
The diet began today. Woe is me..... I worked out for about 45 minutes then did 30 minutes of cardio, I intended to do 45 minutes, but oh damn! At 30 minutes I realized how long it had been since I did any serious cardio... I'll work up to 45 minutes!
On top of that, we like to be close anyway, so a lot of the bed goes unused anyway...
Its a king size, actually a little bigger than a king. Oh, and I sleep in the middle, that way I can go left or right
Its nice to be back, and I look forward to having some (on topic) fun with all of you.
The diet began today. Woe is me..... I worked out for about 45 minutes then did 30 minutes of cardio, I intended to do 45 minutes, but oh damn! At 30 minutes I realized how long it had been since I did any serious cardio... I'll work up to 45 minutes!
luvs2workout
New member
Monster - you are fucking hilarious! Now I remember why I told you not to leave us last year!!
Bikini Mod
New member
Ummmmmmm "Charm" is not exactly the word I would use in regards to the old God of Iron. hehehehehehee
The_Monster
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IG: its a king. A Serta Pillow Top. We had a water bed that was custom, it was probobly a foot bigger width and length than the biggest king you can find, it was nice but if they rolled at all they would either fall out from the water I displace or fall onto me in the valley I make... but I was comfortable! Oh well...
Temple: Ok. A quick story...
So theyre both drunk. Pretty well gone actually!! I seldom drink, so I am naturally the designated driver. We were out somewhere and on the way home and they are both getting VERY sick from the drinking and whatever it was they had ate that evening. They want something to settle their stomachs but we know damn well we have nothing at home, so we stop by the store (a 24hour grocery chain).
I tell them to wait in the car and I'll get something, but of course it couldnt go that simple.
"No, I wanna come in too. I'll pick it out." and before you know it they have stirred each other up into wanting to come in and demanding to know why I wont let them.
So I tell them to come in if they want to, I dont care (thats 2 things I dont do... get mad or argue. I have no temper whatsoever ~kinda shoots the old "roid rage" stories to bits huh?~ and I dont see the sense in arguing about anything).
We get in and they are taking turns stumbling, tripping, singing, lauging and teasing me. As one starts to fall I grab her and get her upright, then end up having to grab the other. It went on like that for a few minutes. The the mood took a turn for the worse (and by "worse" I mean more embarrasing).
As we pass through the clothing department on the way to the department with the medecine I notice theyve fallen back and as they walk they are holding hands are whispering to each other.
I make a mental not to keep an eye on them and try to keep them moving. Then the teasing begins, which is followed by pinching me and leads to groping my crotch and cat calls. So now Im embarrased and workers are looking at us. I turn to the two of them and say "Come on, lets get this stuff and get the hell out of here."
They stop acting up so I figure they know Im getting tired of it and are settleing down.
We stop at an aisle to let a worker pull by with a cart of stuff he was pulling from the back, #2 comes up to me and "whispers" (and she was the only one who believed that it was a whisper, she basically was yelling and making a "ssss" sound while she did, which must have seemed like wispering to her at the time), "Come over by that clothes rack with me and I'll suck your d**k."
Mind you that this was said very loud. So I say "Quiet, lets just get out of here." I can feel myself blushing now, not that Im beyond doing such things, but I have a weird sense of propriety...
So she is offended and is not really thinking of what she is saying or where she is. So she gets irritated and says at regular volume, "No. I wanna suck your d**k!"
Now Im completly embarrased. Im trying to think of something to say to settle her down, the other wife is sitting in a lawn chair display falling asleep. Im looking around trying to assess how many people are listening in and trying to figure out a way out of the situation. The rest of the conversation went like this (mind you she doesnt have a foul mouth normally...):
me: "Come on, lets go."
her: "why cant I suck your d**k?"
me: "Oh my god would you please stop saying that, people are looking."
her: "saying what, that I want to suck your d**k. I dont care what they think, I'll tell them I wanna suck your d**k, myself. F**k them if they dont want me to suck your d**k!"
me: "Jesus Christ! Will you stop saying d**k! Your making a scene."
her:"whatever, lets go then if you dont want me."
I try to go into the whole issue of it not having anything to do with not wanting her, but she seems to have forgotten the entire conversation and is now looking at make up. She gets the other wife up and out of the chair and they are acting like its ME holding us up from getting what we need and getting out of there.
Theyre pretty wore out now, and one is on my left, the other on my right. Theyre each holding one of my hands, and Im using that as a means of guiding them and judging if theyre going to fall over. I figure the tiredness that is setting in means Im in the clear now.
Wrong.
The crotch grabbing begins again. Theyre trying to hold my hands (i.e. restrains my hands by holding them) while one trys to grab my crotch and the other trys to unbuckle my belt.
So Im pretty well ready to just leave without the medicine and let them suffer by now. But as we walk around the corner to the department we need, there are 2 cops!
After a brief threat about lewd conduct and such I try to explain the drinking and needing stomach stuff story. I play up the "designated driver" thing hoping to score some points... Apparently the people that work at the store called the police and said what they heard.
The police make the two of them come up with ID because they look so young. They check out and we are escorted out of the store (without the medicine... serves them right!) When we get outside the cop makes the two of them sit on the curb. He checks my liscence and asks "Have YOU had anything to drink?"
I tell him no, Im driving. He claims he smells beer on me and makes me do a GOD DAMN SOBRIETY TEST! The wives are laughing at me whle I do it, and Im completly embarrased now.
I check out and he lets me put them in the car and take them home... the next day we all get up and NEITHER OF THEM REMEMBERS A THING THAT HAPPENED!
I dont know if they got together and decided to disallow any knowledge of what happened, but they looked at me like I was crazy when I said what happened.
So that was my exciting evening of shopping/babysitting. Luckily they havent got that drunk since, or I shudder to think what might have been in store for me!
Temple: Ok. A quick story...
So theyre both drunk. Pretty well gone actually!! I seldom drink, so I am naturally the designated driver. We were out somewhere and on the way home and they are both getting VERY sick from the drinking and whatever it was they had ate that evening. They want something to settle their stomachs but we know damn well we have nothing at home, so we stop by the store (a 24hour grocery chain).
I tell them to wait in the car and I'll get something, but of course it couldnt go that simple.
"No, I wanna come in too. I'll pick it out." and before you know it they have stirred each other up into wanting to come in and demanding to know why I wont let them.
So I tell them to come in if they want to, I dont care (thats 2 things I dont do... get mad or argue. I have no temper whatsoever ~kinda shoots the old "roid rage" stories to bits huh?~ and I dont see the sense in arguing about anything).
We get in and they are taking turns stumbling, tripping, singing, lauging and teasing me. As one starts to fall I grab her and get her upright, then end up having to grab the other. It went on like that for a few minutes. The the mood took a turn for the worse (and by "worse" I mean more embarrasing).
As we pass through the clothing department on the way to the department with the medecine I notice theyve fallen back and as they walk they are holding hands are whispering to each other.
I make a mental not to keep an eye on them and try to keep them moving. Then the teasing begins, which is followed by pinching me and leads to groping my crotch and cat calls. So now Im embarrased and workers are looking at us. I turn to the two of them and say "Come on, lets get this stuff and get the hell out of here."
They stop acting up so I figure they know Im getting tired of it and are settleing down.
We stop at an aisle to let a worker pull by with a cart of stuff he was pulling from the back, #2 comes up to me and "whispers" (and she was the only one who believed that it was a whisper, she basically was yelling and making a "ssss" sound while she did, which must have seemed like wispering to her at the time), "Come over by that clothes rack with me and I'll suck your d**k."
Mind you that this was said very loud. So I say "Quiet, lets just get out of here." I can feel myself blushing now, not that Im beyond doing such things, but I have a weird sense of propriety...
So she is offended and is not really thinking of what she is saying or where she is. So she gets irritated and says at regular volume, "No. I wanna suck your d**k!"
Now Im completly embarrased. Im trying to think of something to say to settle her down, the other wife is sitting in a lawn chair display falling asleep. Im looking around trying to assess how many people are listening in and trying to figure out a way out of the situation. The rest of the conversation went like this (mind you she doesnt have a foul mouth normally...):
me: "Come on, lets go."
her: "why cant I suck your d**k?"
me: "Oh my god would you please stop saying that, people are looking."
her: "saying what, that I want to suck your d**k. I dont care what they think, I'll tell them I wanna suck your d**k, myself. F**k them if they dont want me to suck your d**k!"
me: "Jesus Christ! Will you stop saying d**k! Your making a scene."
her:"whatever, lets go then if you dont want me."
I try to go into the whole issue of it not having anything to do with not wanting her, but she seems to have forgotten the entire conversation and is now looking at make up. She gets the other wife up and out of the chair and they are acting like its ME holding us up from getting what we need and getting out of there.
Theyre pretty wore out now, and one is on my left, the other on my right. Theyre each holding one of my hands, and Im using that as a means of guiding them and judging if theyre going to fall over. I figure the tiredness that is setting in means Im in the clear now.
Wrong.
The crotch grabbing begins again. Theyre trying to hold my hands (i.e. restrains my hands by holding them) while one trys to grab my crotch and the other trys to unbuckle my belt.
So Im pretty well ready to just leave without the medicine and let them suffer by now. But as we walk around the corner to the department we need, there are 2 cops!
After a brief threat about lewd conduct and such I try to explain the drinking and needing stomach stuff story. I play up the "designated driver" thing hoping to score some points... Apparently the people that work at the store called the police and said what they heard.
The police make the two of them come up with ID because they look so young. They check out and we are escorted out of the store (without the medicine... serves them right!) When we get outside the cop makes the two of them sit on the curb. He checks my liscence and asks "Have YOU had anything to drink?"
I tell him no, Im driving. He claims he smells beer on me and makes me do a GOD DAMN SOBRIETY TEST! The wives are laughing at me whle I do it, and Im completly embarrased now.
I check out and he lets me put them in the car and take them home... the next day we all get up and NEITHER OF THEM REMEMBERS A THING THAT HAPPENED!
I dont know if they got together and decided to disallow any knowledge of what happened, but they looked at me like I was crazy when I said what happened.
So that was my exciting evening of shopping/babysitting. Luckily they havent got that drunk since, or I shudder to think what might have been in store for me!
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