Is everything forgivable?

[superqt4u2nv]

Id be interested to know how you did it.

consequently, the person i hold anger towards came into plat chat and i was able to carry on a civil conversation with no issues LOL

It's not as complicated as it seems. I am not saying there is anything wrong with feeling anger or sadness or whatever it is feel it then you let it out. What ever way works for you cry, lift heavy weights, break inadament objects... Then you put it behind you close the door and move on. It's not even a matter of telling the other person you forgive them it is setting it in your head that you have.

I didn't for some traumatizing repressed childhood issues the exact same way I did it for some less traumatic tumultuous relationship I had. It is only as complicated as you make it in your mind.

 

[nydj66]

There's three people I just remembered that screw me over professionally. It doesn't affect my day-to-day life now. But if I am ever in a position of authority over them, they're going to twist in the wind without mercy.

 

[smurf2]

It's not as complicated as it seems. I am not saying there is anything wrong with feeling anger or sadness or whatever it is feel it then you let it out. What ever way works for you cry, lift heavy weights, break inadament objects... Then you put it behind you close the door and move on. It's not even a matter of telling the other person you forgive them it is setting it in your head that you have.

I didn't for some traumatizing repressed childhood issues the exact same way I did it for some less traumatic tumultuous relationship I had. It is only as complicated as you make it in your mind.

interesting.

so when you think of those traumatizing experiences, you no longer feel anger at all?

 

[superqt4u2nv]

That's were I disagree, holding on to anger and grudges can actually make people happy, we are weird creatures

It gives the person that wronged you a lot more power in your life than I am willing to give them. If you allow someone to have that kind of head space in your mind where you hold on to it I just don't see that as a happy thing.

But yes people are weird and clearly all diffrent.

 

[cindylou]

Id be interested to know how you did it.

consequently, the person i hold anger towards came into plat chat and i was able to carry on a civil conversation with no issues LOL

In your instance maybe the anger is what got you out and kept you safe; I think it could be confusing and hard to let that go, or even want to when it served such a purpose. I understand that.

Maybe you don't hold as much anger towards him as you think. You might still be angry or irritated but just at the situation, or at yourself. If you're able to be civil that sounds like a good place to be.

Nan: I think that's why blue started the thread. This isn't about someone like you mentioned; this is about someone that wants to let go but is having a hard time doing that. This is about someone who is holding on to something and can't find the place to let go and thinks she needs to so she can be happy and free and take that final step in moving on. I think instead of making fun of her, not trying to understand why she can't let go or what took so long we should try to help her find a way to find that place.

Forgiveness is about the person giving it, not the person that receives it. The unseen things tend to work in opposite of those principles around us that we see. To receive you have to give etc etc.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

interesting.

so when you think of those traumatizing experiences, you no longer feel anger at all?

No anger at all, just empathy for the other person. Some of the process is much easier to put into practice depending on the issue. Do it with smaller things first they seem easier to let go of. Then move on to the big one that really fucked you up. You might not be able to do it right away but in time you will put it behind you if you really want to. It’s a matter of perspective where you are at sometimes it will just hit you like it’s done I am over it.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

You might still be angry or irritated but just at the situation, or at yourself. If you're able to be civil that sounds like a good place to be.

Yes that's a big one you have to forgive yourself too.

 

[smurf2]

In your instance maybe the anger is what got you out and kept you safe; I think it could be confusing and hard to let that go, or even want to when it served such a purpose. I understand that.

.

Totally! Thank you. That makes perfect sense

 

[nangiggles]

In your instance maybe the anger is what got you out and kept you safe; I think it could be confusing and hard to let that go, or even want to when it served such a purpose. I understand that.

Maybe you don't hold as much anger towards him as you think. You might still be angry or irritated but just at the situation, or at yourself. If you're able to be civil that sounds like a good place to be.

Nan: I think that's why blue started the thread. This isn't about someone like you mentioned; this is about someone that wants to let go but is having a hard time doing that. This is about someone who is holding on to something and can't find the place to let go and thinks she needs to so she can be happy and free and take that final step in moving on. I think instead of making fun of her, not trying to understand why she can't let go or what took so long we should try to help her find a way to find that place.

Forgiveness is about the person giving it, not the person that receives it. The unseen things tend to work in opposite of those principles around us that we see. To receive you have to give etc etc.

When did I make fun of her? Honestly we can alloffer some advice and insight but we cant feel how she feels, some dont even see how she still feels like this, I understand why and I encourage her to forgive so she can feel better ut I dont know wnough about her to offer helpful advice.

*where

STFU I'm mexican I get to make mistakes!

 

[smurf2]

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STFU I'm mexican I get to make mistakes!

lmao!