I don't understand it, how could someone divorce after all of that?

[HG Pennypacker]

My parents hate each other, stayed together all these years because it was for the children and what they were supposed to do. I've been to their house 1 time in the past 6 months because I can't stand the bickering and the bullshit.

People don't ever think they're going to split up when they get married. People change. Their goals and ideals change. Don't be so narrow minded to think that everyone can stay together if these changes make it impossible to live together. All the counseling and work in the world, isn't going to help people who grow to hate and resent each other.

 

[TEXgrl]

My boss' boss just announced that he and his wife are splitting. They have been marrried for over 20 years, met in college, have 4 kids, survived many military moves and separations, his career is hugely successful.

After going through all of that, why/how would anyone split up? Seems like they could somehow work out the differences, even if it meant him having a little hanky-panky on the side or whatever.

It just seems a shame to split a team like that after all of those years of experience. They are both good people too.

It worries someone like me who has been married for 13 years. I feel like I will be married forever, but maybe these guys thought that too.

If I go middle age crazy and have a wild fling with some young chick will my wife throw away our whole marriage and family?

just goes to show you never know what goes on behind closed doors, its possible the marriage has been over for awhile and this is simply a formality, the actual divorce. i think hanky-panky on the side would be the problem, not the solution.

i think its good that it does worry you about your marriage, maybe it will make you strive to be a better husband, and your wife a better spouse too.

if you go middle age crazy, i'd suggest a nice sports car instead of a fling, it would be alot easier on your heart and your wife's heart if you did. if you had a fling, your wife wouldn't be throwing anything away by ending your marriage, she would simply be finishing what you started.....a few moments of pleasure aren't worth throwing away a life you built together. if you need excitement, buy a blindfold, role-play, go out and try to pick your wife up at a bar, put the effort into impressing HER instead of someone else, you'll get back as much as you put in, i promise you!

 

[Longhorn85]

Thanks for the replies. Just for the record, I DO NOT plan on having any type of fling, and after re-reading my statement which some of you quoted, it is kind of piggish, and it would be me, not my wife, throwing the marriage away.

My wife and I have known this couple for a long time and I don't think they were faking it, they were truly in love. Their oldest kid just left the nest, the other 3 are still at home. He is close to retiring from the military as a high-ranking officer, and she is finishing up her degree after years of supporting him.

It is just sad to me because she will probably spend the rest of her life lonely. I think he will hook up again easily. And even though I implied it, I don't know that he fooled around, I am just jumping to that conclusion because I couldn't imagine why else she'd leave him.

Although my wife and I are very happy, like Texgirl said this is a warning that makes me want to make sure it doesn't go sour.

Unlike you Vixenbabe, I never felt that a good marriage is "work". It should be (and has been) an absolute pleasure.

 

[HG Pennypacker]

I never felt that a good marriage is "work". It should be (and has been) an absolute pleasure.

Bingo!!!!

I work 11-12 hours a day at my job, plus nights and weekends sometimes. I don't want to have to work at my marriage. There are aspects of compromising and coexisting where you need to put forth more effort than normal (helping with the kids, cooking and cleaning), but if you have to work so hard at the relationship itself, why be in it?

 

[vixenbabe]

Our marriage is like us, not perfect!!

I dare anyone to say that they have a" perfect marriage" without some form of nuturing.

 

[HumorMe]

Our marriage is like us, not perfect!!

I dare anyone to say that they have a" perfect marriage" without some form of nuturing.

You sure look perfect vix!

Hey G....good to see you!

 

[The Ranger]

Vix Darl'in, you're lucky....Not every marriage has *squirrel dicks* to spice'n it up a wee bit....

I still laugh like hell at that one Darl'in.....

Ranger

 

[casavant]

Maybe it's easier for two people to stay together when they live in a place where more of their time goes to obtaining those things on the lower rungs of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Whenever people become preoccupied with achieving esteem and self-actualization, things seem to go to shit.

 

[Longhorn85]

Maybe it's easier for two people to stay together when they live in a place where more of their time goes to obtaining those things on the lower rungs of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Whenever people become preoccupied with achieving esteem and self-actualization, things seem to go to shit.

Very true. I've seen military couples run into this. Once the man is no longer struggling for success and is a high ranking officer (or highly successful in business or whatever) with people at his beck and call, he is tempted to convert some of his military power into sexual power.

This is exacerbated by the fact that many men who become successful in business or the military started life out pretty much as geeks who didn't get much play back in high school/college.

Now that they are successful and by the way stayed or got into physical condition while their peers got fat, they are able to pull da hos finally.

 

[Burning_Inside]

We were married very young. .............
Then you wake up one day, and it hits you that you don't even remotely KNOW the person next to you...

EXACTLY the reasons I refuse to even bother starting anythng serious until I'm much older. I am 25 now and I've realized this when I was about 18. Wise beyond my years so i have been told, however to the lame ass hoes around my age, I'm worthless because of that. They all want a serious relationship, all before theyre out of college and know who the hell they really are or what they really want out of life. I'm the no good guy that "apparently just wants to use girls for sex". Idiots. I hope they all find the man o' their dreams and have a kid and get divorced in 5 years and go on welfare, I really do.