My wife hates her mother...

[EnderJE]

It appears the situation should have been stopped long ago, but everyone got used to it, somehow. Now, are you really going to kick her out after she's been used to live off your wife for so long?. I'm not being mean to you or your wife, but be careful. Karma is a bitch. And that thing about "I don't need you anymore" not always comes out the way we imagine it to be. I'm not taking her side, just whatever you do, do it with compassion, regardless of how much of a user she has been.
The universe doesn't know of who was bad first

At least I'm not having her killed.

I could see how someone could take it as personal, but I don't take it that way. Just like when my kids are old enough, I'm assuming that they'll remove me from their household as well.

 

[velvett]

The babysitters out here make $25 a hour, your MIL works 15 hours a week which would be $375 a week or $1500 a month.

You could just pay her cash and let her pay her own life expenses (housing, food, toys, utilities) from now on.

Just because she's your elder doesn't mean she doesn't need a lesson in growing up to be a responsible adult.

Nothing is ever 'free'.

We have paid for the following:
- a separate condo (she lives rent free while we pay for her mortgage and her condo fees)
- a new computer
- food (all food)
- all utilities (cable and internet)
- spending money

She has asked for:
- more spending money although she only watches one kid now from M - F for 3 hours a day
- more food budget because she has friends over from time to time

I can appreciate that you might think that we're ungrateful, but I (who's in the situation and selfishly - ) think she's ungrateful.

If we cut her out, we get about 1.5k - 2k per month back. In two years, both my kids will be in school full-time. She's already asked for an increase in the above mentioned items. This means that we'll be paying for 1.5 - 2k for nothing. At this point, I could see me be the bad guy and kick her out.

 

[EnderJE]

The babysitters out here make $25 a hour, your MIL works 15 hours a week which would be $375 a week or $1500 a month.

You could just pay her cash and let her pay her own life expenses (housing, food, toys, utilities) from now on.

Just because she's your elder doesn't mean she doesn't need a lesson in growing up to be a responsible adult.

It would be so much hotter if you watched the kids. You could teach them about Postsecrets.

 

[velvett]

It would be so much hotter if you watched the kids. You could teach them about Postsecrets.

We'd already have a book to read to them.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Holy fack you pay for her condo and utilities. At first I thought you were being a tad harsh now not at all christ that is insane she complains about that.

 

[heatherrae]

Holy fack you pay for her condo and utilities. At first I thought you were being a tad harsh now not at all christ that is insane she complains about that.

hell, i may quit my job to watch his kids...lol.

 

[javaguru]

Lol...poor enderje...pwned by his mother in law....

 

[scooter22]

...but feels guilty if we kick her out because she helps take care of the kids.

To me, it's a funny story.

I'll be the first to admit it was my mistake asking her to come live with us, but I always saw it as a temporary thing because I had no qualms about kicking her out when she outlived her usefulness. To me, that time would be next September. I like her. But, if there's one thing that my Dad always told me is that 'dead weight is never a good thing' and 'anyone is expendable'.

My wife recently calculated that we give her more money then daycare costs (via food, cable, etc) and she still wants more, because she feel entitles to it. I think that's the part that got her. The MIL recently had guests over and she consumed more then her share of the food budget.

Yet, my wife doesn't say anything. Funny story.

Like when you shake a bottle of Pepsi. It only take a few shakes before it blows up.

If my expectations are correct, this should be September of next year.

Ain't family life grand?

Ah the bliss of family life. Love em and hate em both. Same with a spouse.

 

[EnderJE]

Holy fack you pay for her condo and utilities. At first I thought you were being a tad harsh now not at all christ that is insane she complains about that.

At first, it didn't bother me because that's what the first born is supposed to do. I've got something prepared for my parents and my brother if they need it and I choose to give it to them.

Now, if they demanded the support, then the 'expendable rules' kick in and I wouldn't.

 

[mustang_00]

No, we've never felt any sort of gratefulness from her.

My Dad always taught me that 'everyone is expendable'. Thus, we don't need her.

give her zero responsibilities from now on... it'll either play out by itself and she'll go to a home (or wherever) or she'll man up and start doing shit to earn her keep realizing on her own that she really is expandable. nice/sad to know that other people are going through this shit too...

my parents and i are going through this shit. out of 12 grand kids including myself and 7 kids including my mom. we're the only ones that do shit for my grandpa. pick up prescriptions,take him to the doctors,cook,clean,buy groceries, visit, call... you name it we do it. he denies everything and tells his other kids that we don't do shit for him and blah blah. i've seriously stopped catering to him. i told my mom to do the same so at least he'll realize what we do for him and maybe appreciate it. but she's the push over type that if she can't win with someone, she'll try harder!? i myself know when to throw in the towel. his mentality is everyone owes him something. he's all pissed off because i won't do things for him anymore and instead of telling me "thank you" or "i appreciate what you're doing" he called me a worthless piece of shit....?