Why is it that people with kids

[Bikini Mod]

I'm overreacting Im sure.

My feelings were kinda hurt but oh well.

i'll get over it.

plus I sent the hubbie out of town to have QT with her and i get blown off.

so i was fucked sat night scrambling around for plans feeling retarted

lol i'll live.

I get the sense that there is more to this than you are letting on. If your friend was truly rude to you then I could see you feeling hurt but if it was just that you are upset because you had enough foresight to send your man out of town and she didn't have the foresight to find suitable care for her child then I am thinkin, yes you are over-reacting, with all due respect.

The friend in question is not only a mom but she is the bride? I dont think you realize the unbelievable stress going on in her household. Did you ever stop to think for one moment how hectic their lives are because of a RE-MARRIAGE with young child(ren) involved? Maybe she is having second thoughts? cold feet? or maybe her husband-2B or any combination of the two or maybe that isn't it at all. All I am saying is that when there is a child(ren) involved in ANY social situation it makes even the happiest occasions extremely stressfull.

I have been without my children for over 2 years. If all goes well we will have at least one of them here in the next several weeks, hopefully followed by several more in the following months if all goes as it should. Only ONE of our friends have children young enough that they should require sitters, the rest all have grown kids. Couple that with the fact that I will want to spend as much time as possible with my girls with my husband because of all the time that has been robbed from us becoming a real family. Now add to that the burden of how fucked up these kids have been. How much socializing you think my husband and I will be doing with our friends anytime soon?

As I said, if there is more to the story than you are telling and you truly feel slighted for a combination of this and other reasons, then I feel you. However, also bear in mind there could be way more to your friend's behavior than you might realize simply because you have not been in her situation.

You're a smart woman. I am sure you will figure it out.

 

[cindylou]

I know I have pissed people off. I get to see my kid like once a month. It's not set up most of the time. Plans in the last minute change for me all the time. Some friends get pissed off but they need to understand my kid comes first. I'm sure they would do the same in my situation.

I totally understand when its a situation like yours

she's not a single mommy

parents use kids as an excuse to flake out of everything.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I totally understand when its a situation like yours

she's not a single mommy

parents use kids as an excuse to flake out of everything.

Or maybe they just LIKE being with their kids and/or expend a lot of energy w/activities that are with/for their kids?

I mean, if you were a kid (which we all were once LOL) wouldn't you want your mommy and daddy to make you feel like the center of the universe MOST of the time until you get to be like 11 and only want mom and dad for a ride to your friend's?!

 

[AztecWarrior]

I totally understand when its a situation like yours

she's not a single mommy

parents use kids as an excuse to flake out of everything.

True. Most guys don't like to take care of there kids. THe wifes don't feel great about leaving the kids with them. Hell, I know most guys don't even like there wifes to go out w/ there friends to social gatherings. Who knows why she dosen't want to go. Maybe she dosen't really wanna go.

 

[blueta2]

that could be.

she can have them then. lol

and when i have kids, I will know how to balance my kids with my life! i will never turn into on of those chicks who ends up friendless. Friends are important! When your kids move out and your husband plays golf all the time, who will you shop with?

maybe im just bitchy. i dunno.

we never think we're going to turn into the people who annoy us, but we do..haha!

By the time the kids move out and the hubby is always off playing golf, you'll love being alone more than not.
As we get older, we desire more alone time.

 

[cindylou]

I get the sense that there is more to this than you are letting on. If your friend was truly rude to you then I could see you feeling hurt but if it was just that you are upset because you had enough foresight to send your man out of town and she didn't have the foresight to find suitable care for her child then I am thinkin, yes you are over-reacting, with all due respect.

The friend in question is not only a mom but she is the bride? I dont think you realize the unbelievable stress going on in her household. Did you ever stop to think for one moment how hectic their lives are because of a RE-MARRIAGE with young child(ren) involved? Maybe she is having second thoughts? cold feet? or maybe her husband-2B or any combination of the two or maybe that isn't it at all. All I am saying is that when there is a child(ren) involved in ANY social situation it makes even the happiest occasions extremely stressfull.

I have been without my children for over 2 years. If all goes well we will have at least one of them here in the next several weeks, hopefully followed by several more in the following months if all goes as it should. Only ONE of our friends have children young enough that they should require sitters, the rest all have grown kids. Couple that with the fact that I will want to spend as much time as possible with my girls with my husband because of all the time that has been robbed from us becoming a real family. Now add to that the burden of how fucked up these kids have been. How much socializing you think my husband and I will be doing with our friends anytime soon?

As I said, if there is more to the story than you are telling and you truly feel slighted for a combination of this and other reasons, then I feel you. However, also bear in mind there could be way more to your friend's behavior than you might realize simply because you have not been in her situation.

You're a smart woman. I am sure you will figure it out.

Its not a remarriage, her fiance is the father of the kids.

Yeah there is a little more to the story, but you are also right, I'm probably overreacting. It wouldnt have been that big of a deal if I hadnt been so excited to see her (FINALLY) and sent my man out of town.

 

[cindylou]

Or maybe they just LIKE being with their kids and/or expend a lot of energy w/activities that are with/for their kids?

I mean, if you were a kid (which we all were once LOL) wouldn't you want your mommy and daddy to make you feel like the center of the universe MOST of the time until you get to be like 11 and only want mom and dad for a ride to your friend's?!

Thats what my poor parents did. Spoiled me rotten!

I dont always think thats best!

Johnny's parents didnt use him as their world. he knew his parents had friends and they had no problem dropping him off at Grandmas on a Saturday night to keep in touch with friends.

I do understand though. lol.

 

[Tytan]

I believe that children are our future,.....You " have" to put children and family first....And alot of women know that their husbands will just let the kids eat whatever they want and stay up late and that just throws off moms schedule....Kids need to stay on a schedule..( I`m told that at least once a week)

 

[mrplunkey]

Children add a degree of uncertainty into any planning that is almost impossible to understand until you have kids yourself.

 

[cindylou]

I believe that children are our future,.....You " have" to put children and family first....And alot of women know that their husbands will just let the kids eat whatever they want and stay up late and that just throws off moms schedule....Kids need to stay on a schedule..( I`m told that at least once a week)

why is it okay for husbands to act this way?