so, remember I said that my son's girlfriend has been staying with us?

[stilleto]

Her mom was in a battered women's shelter and "A" is 18 so she couldn't stay there. She stayed with us until her mom could get a court date, which kept getting held off and held off.

6 weeks go by, and "A's" father hasn't seen his 3 kids that whole time.
Finally, "A's" mom gets back into her house with "A", her 16 year old brother, and her 10 year old brother.

a few days later, the 16 year old brother (my son's close friend) was admitted to the psych ward at the local hospital after he admitted to burning and cutting himself. My son had no idea about it. They get him treatment and he's released.

Yesterday, the 10 year old brother went missing for hours. The police were here (they thought he came to my house), helicopters were all over town, and the town sirens went off. They thought the father took him, but they found him.

Today, I worked from home, and my son and "A" were here. I went for a walk and heard the town sirens again. I thought, 'they've been going off alot lately."
When i back, "A" got a call from a friend who said he heard her 16 year old brother is dead.

no, they say. he's fine (he's been in the psych ward but they don't tell anyone that). They leave here to go to "A's" house... and found out that he was, in fact, dead. ATV accident. There was another boy in the accident, who is in a coma and paralyzed.

sorry this is long. My son never lost anyone before- he's been crying all night and helping his girlfriend's family. Her mother was in family court when the state troopers interrupted and said they had to talk to the two parties privately. The mother just collapsed and has been in shock ever since. The father hadn't seen his kids in 6 weeks. I feel so bad for this family. It's a lot of drama and I keep rolling my eyes at it all, but today it just became reality. I don't know how any family recovers from losing their child.

 

[miplank]

sorry to hear that.

 

[chris302001]

wish there was something I could do........

 

[Bikini Mod]

Her mom was in a battered women's shelter and "A" is 18 so she couldn't stay there. She stayed with us until her mom could get a court date, which kept getting held off and held off.

6 weeks go by, and "A's" father hasn't seen his 3 kids that whole time.
Finally, "A's" mom gets back into her house with "A", her 16 year old brother, and her 10 year old brother.

a few days later, the 16 year old brother (my son's close friend) was admitted to the psych ward at the local hospital after he admitted to burning and cutting himself. My son had no idea about it. They get him treatment and he's released.

Yesterday, the 10 year old brother went missing for hours. The police were here (they thought he came to my house), helicopters were all over town, and the town sirens went off. They thought the father took him, but they found him.

Today, I worked from home, and my son and "A" were here. I went for a walk and heard the town sirens again. I thought, 'they've been going off alot lately."
When i back, "A" got a call from a friend who said he heard her 16 year old brother is dead.

no, they say. he's fine (he's been in the psych ward but they don't tell anyone that). They leave here to go to "A's" house... and found out that he was, in fact, dead. ATV accident. There was another boy in the accident, who is in a coma and paralyzed.

sorry this is long. My son never lost anyone before- he's been crying all night and helping his girlfriend's family. Her mother was in family court when the state troopers interrupted and said they had to talk to the two parties privately. The mother just collapsed and has been in shock ever since. The father hadn't seen his kids in 6 weeks. I feel so bad for this family. It's a lot of drama and I keep rolling my eyes at it all, but today it just became reality. I don't know how any family recovers from losing their child.

You're not the only one who has this reaction... that is, until it hits YOUR HOME.

Countless lives are affected by domestic violence. Just because *it* doesn't live in your home (thank goodness) doesn't mean that your home won't be affected by it.

My heart goes out to that mother.

Your post is not long OR bothersome to me and those like me. I truly am sorry for that mother and her children.

 

[shrimp poboy]

Wow thats horrible im sure the funeral will be brutal as well

 

[Thandie]

I'm so sorry to hear that!

 

[stilleto]

You're not the only one who has this reaction... that is, until it hits YOUR HOME.

Countless lives are affected by domestic violence. Just because *it* doesn't live in your home (thank goodness) doesn't mean that your home won't be affected by it.

My heart goes out to that mother.

Your post is not long OR bothersome to me and those like me. I truly am sorry for that mother and her children.

thanks e.
I really didn't know if the mother was battered or not. My son said he's never seen violence at their house or heard of it, so i thought the mother was making the situation so much worse by going to a shelter and keeping her kids from him.
they've had dyfus at their house and nothing happened, so i thought it was more false drama and it just seemed like it was always something with them.

Today i found out that the father did hit the mother, at least once- he broke her nose a few weeks ago and just before she left, he threatened something pretty bad (don't know what). The 16 year old had been a big part of the problem between them, so he internalized all the problems his mother was now having after leaving- hence the cutting and burning.
Things JUST started to get better, but i have a feeling he was being wreckless today on his quad. he died at the scene.

 

[stilleto]

Wow thats horrible im sure the funeral will be brutal as well

very.
it's always a horrible thing to bury a teenager. He was popular, and so is "A". My son is too- and every friend is going to want to go.

plus, the family is going to be a mess, of course. They can't afford a funeral btw.... their house was in forclosure a few months ago.

 

[Cutiebaby]

Wow, I am sorry to hear this. It sucks, sounds like this family has had way too much on their plates.

Best thing to do is just be there for your son, A, and her mother.

Very sad situation indeed.

 

[Bikini Mod]

thanks e.
I really didn't know if the mother was battered or not. My son said he's never seen violence at their house or heard of it, so i thought the mother was making the situation so much worse by going to a shelter and keeping her kids from him.
they've had dyfus at their house and nothing happened, so i thought it was more false drama and it just seemed like it was always something with them.

Today i found out that the father did hit the mother, at least once- he broke her nose a few weeks ago and just before she left, he threatened something pretty bad (don't know what). The 16 year old had been a big part of the problem between them, so he internalized all the problems his mother was now having after leaving- hence the cutting and burning.
Things JUST started to get better, but i have a feeling he was being wreckless today on his quad. he died at the scene.

Again, your honesty is reflective of how MOST people think about such situations and why I will NEVER stop talking about domestic violence and the system... no matter who shouts me down or who says that surely, I am making this up.

Now you know FIRST HAND how the system REGULARLY fucks families up.

The woman did the right thing by trying to get away from him, but in the end what good did it do her OR her children?