so, remember I said that my son's girlfriend has been staying with us?

[musclemom]

And the worst part is teenagers are such emotional creatures. They think the way they feel today is the way they'll feel forever ... mourning the loss of someone you love as an adult is bad enough and seems like it's going to last forever but you know to keep hanging on and hope it'll pass someday. Teens are so in the moment. There's always a fear of backlash suicides ...

'letto I am so sorry this sorrow has touched your home and those you love

 

[stilleto]

Again, your honesty is reflective of how MOST people think about such situations and why I will NEVER stop talking about domestic violence and the system... no matter who shouts me down or who says that surely, I am making this up.

Now you know FIRST HAND how the system REGULARLY fucks families up.

The woman did the right thing by trying to get away from him, but in the end what good did it do her OR her children?

well really, the system did work for her. She got an order of protection against him (that's why he hadn't seen his kids in 6 weeks), she got him kicked out of the house, and today they were in court again but that got interrupted.

The son's death was a tragic accident. Nobody will know why- i suspect he was riding carelessly, and if so, there's nobody to blame... a 16 year old boy who's parents almost lost their house, who's dad couldn't accept him, who's mom and siblings had to live in a shelter until they got their house back, and who really doesn't know what his future holds... i can understand.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Was it a temporary or a final?

I had a FINAL protective order... *sigh* I don't know about the state that you live in but in NJ a woman that has a final protective order must still SHARE physical custody IF the father wants it. Also, once a divorce is in place NO "women's rights organizations" will help a woman behind the 8ball with an abusive ex.

The whole thing is a tragic mess, no doubt. Just the fact that you doubted anything was wrong because DYFS was there and "nothing happened" tells me that something, somewhere was fucked up. (Maybe I misunderstood your initial post?)

I've heard of women (yes, met them personally) who had lost custody of their children because their husbands would beat them and they refused to put the men out. Interestingly enough, all the women were befuddled because "he NEVER hit the kids." (Sound familiar?)

In any event, the whole thing is horrible. Often times the fixes are not so easy and perhaps more people should learn that the first and quickest judgment isn't always the correct one.

My heart REALLY goes out to the family. I hope the mother and surviving children get a truckload of GOOD counseling. If anyone knows, I do, they are going to need it. You will NEVER KNOW how dearly I regret being talked into dropping that order by my then-attorney.. NEVER.

 

[stilleto]

Was it a temporary or a final?

I had a FINAL protective order... *sigh* I don't know about the state that you live in but in NJ a woman that has a final protective order must still SHARE physical custody IF the father wants it. Also, once a divorce is in place NO "women's rights organizations" will help a woman behind the 8ball with an abusive ex.

The whole thing is a tragic mess, no doubt. Just the fact that you doubted anything was wrong because DYFS was there and "nothing happened" tells me that something, somewhere was fucked up. (Maybe I misunderstood your initial post?)

I've heard of women (yes, met them personally) who had lost custody of their children because their husbands would beat them and they refused to put the men out. Interestingly enough, all the women were befuddled because "he NEVER hit the kids." (Sound familiar?)

In any event, the whole thing is horrible. Often times the fixes are not so easy and perhaps more people should learn that the first and quickest judgment isn't always the correct one.

My heart REALLY goes out to the family. I hope the mother and surviving children get a truckload of GOOD counseling. If anyone knows, I do, they are going to need it. You will NEVER KNOW how dearly I regret being talked into dropping that order by my then-attorney.. NEVER.

well my post really wasn't about family violence, it was more about the fact that it seemed that something dramatic was always happening with this family and I was tired of it (since it had often traveled into my life, via my son), but this is something way more than that.
i'm talking to my friend now- she is going to get the churches in the area to take up a collection for the funeral expenses.

 

[Smurfy]

wow this is a really sad story. gosh.

 

[RADAR]

This is soooo Tragic, my condolences goes out to that whole family and everyone involved.

RADAR

 

[Bikini Mod]

well my post really wasn't about family violence, it was more about the fact that it seemed that something dramatic was always happening with this family and I was tired of it (since it had often traveled into my life, via my son), but this is something way more than that.
i'm talking to my friend now- she is going to get the churches in the area to take up a collection for the funeral expenses.

I see, then I repeat my original sentiments... people seem to think that because domestic violence doesn't live in their house that somehow it is "someone else's problem"... until it ends up in their home regardless of the fact that they aren't directly involved or responsible.

Domestic violence is EVERYONE's problem... eventually.

I am as sorry for the family that had the problem as well as for yours. EVERYONE gets hurt in some way. Don't they?

 

[chris302001]

Was it a temporary or a final?

I had a FINAL protective order... *sigh* I don't know about the state that you live in but in NJ a woman that has a final protective order must still SHARE physical custody IF the father wants it. Also, once a divorce is in place NO "women's rights organizations" will help a woman behind the 8ball with an abusive ex.

The whole thing is a tragic mess, no doubt. Just the fact that you doubted anything was wrong because DYFS was there and "nothing happened" tells me that something, somewhere was fucked up. (Maybe I misunderstood your initial post?)

I've heard of women (yes, met them personally) who had lost custody of their children because their husbands would beat them and they refused to put the men out. Interestingly enough, all the women were befuddled because "he NEVER hit the kids." (Sound familiar?)

In any event, the whole thing is horrible. Often times the fixes are not so easy and perhaps more people should learn that the first and quickest judgment isn't always the correct one.

My heart REALLY goes out to the family. I hope the mother and surviving children get a truckload of GOOD counseling. If anyone knows, I do, they are going to need it. You will NEVER KNOW how dearly I regret being talked into dropping that order by my then-attorney.. NEVER.

I thought this thread was about Stilleto?

 

[Bikini Mod]

I thought this thread was about Stilleto?

Who said any different?

 

[princesa]

Ugh..I'm really sorry! My heart goes out to the family