I think i have a mild form of bi-polar disorder...

[rnch]

bi-polar WOULD explain some of your threads and replies here.

 

[musclemom]

Go see a psychiatrist (not a family doctor, who is not qualified to recognize or diagnose mental health problems) get properly diagnosed, think about therapy, think about meds. No one, not even the licensed professionals, is qualified to diagnose their own real (or imagined) mental or mood disorders and certainly none of the dutch bags on this board and even if they were you don't do this shit long distance.

Talk to someone who is qualified to identify your problems and can truly tell you the kind of help you need.

 

[Strongbow]

You know...
I've always struggled with bouts of serious depression since i was young and was treated for it at different times of my life, but i never thought i was bi-polar due to the definiton of it. The thought has come up before because i've been told by other people about my mood swings but I never had any real classic "manic" episodes where i'd go crazy and be super happy and not sleep for days. I do however, not realizing it until now, experience "highs" where i feel invincible and on top of the world. I have a hard time understanding how i can go from charismatic and social and happy to being isolated, dark and bitter. I always just thought i had a "dark" side

Well, I've been reflecting on my life and the constant mood swings i go through. One day up, one day down...two weeks up, two weeks down..etc

Then i stumbled upon a disorder called Cyclomthymia. It's a milder form of bi-polar disorder and it basically exactly described the vicious cycle i have gone through for years. The episodes are not as severe as someone who's full blown bi-polar, thus the reason it's never really been discussed.I've also never told my doctors about how great i feel sometimes...i just thought that was me being happy or in my party mode

To sum up my life, i get a great deal of momentum or a great opportunity and then lose motivation or get depressed and then everything fucks up within a month or two usualy. This has happened so many times, its unreal. I've had a hard time holding a job for longer than a year at a time. I've always done unreal at most places i've worked for, gotten great positions or chances, but i could never sustain it.My potential has always been compromised and people have always wrote me off as lazy, or irresponsible...I started believing that.I have a serious problem where i just don't want to get out of bed and sleep for riduclous amounts of time. It'll occur out of nowhere sometimes and has cost me jobs, clients and alot of other things

I always thought i would just get complacent or that i would fall into depression at certain times..but i'm not quite sure.

I used to write off my little europhic highs as confidence/arrogance or just me not being depressed, but i dont think thats the case anymore.

I'm not sure whether to feel relieved if thats teh case, and it can be treated or just disappointed that i let my life play out this way for this long. I have to go talk to my doc who prescribes me my ADHD meds. That too, went unnoticed for a long time and my teachers and parents just thought i was lazy.

no wonder im so fucked up.

from an outside perspective and seeing my posts over the years, do you guys see this as probably being true?

Medicate yourself. Ive been married to a bipolar chick before, who wud never admit she had a problem. After a couple of failed marriages she finally got herself some help. She still hates me, but gets along with others fairly well now.

 

[ortiz34]

Go see a doctor bro
I never have had the highs. I am more even keel and have some lows sometimes. Mild depression.

Everyone is fucked up a bit in their own little way bro, at least your not always depressed with no highs.

It really does sound like you may have some bi-polar issues
good luck

BTW I think this symptom happens to every jets fan

 

[chazk]

Could be holiday stress ? could be more of a mental disorder.
what ever you do, remember people like you and you are a good person . Now go get some professional help.

 

[lartinos]

Hard to tell just from posts I'd say. I am just an emotional person in general, but not moody. i can get anxiety, but I cause it. I don't get it out of the blue.

 

[ricco561]

You know, I come from a family that really falls into this(your) thought process. I agree with how society has done this to an extent and of course the greed of the drug companies have only fueled this. I believed the things you say for a long time, due to my family. They drilled this into my head and just told me I was lazy and spent too much time feeling sorry for myself. Which is why after I was diagnosed w adhd, I took meds for a year and then stopped for 6 until last year when I realized my life was too difficult to manage in the real world without. I've also foregone anti depressants for a long time, because even though I know I'm prone (I tried to commit suicide at 16) and have been in serious depressive states since, I felt I was strong enough to make it through. And I am strong and resilient...but there's something more to it. I still believe a lot of what you say, but I really believe there are people who are ill too.

I've always blamed myself for my shortcomings and never understood why I was the way I was and repeatingly making the same mistakes. but after I look back at all the opportunities I've squandered, business I've lost and people I've alienated I really feel like its an issue I need to address, and maybe...this isn't just "the way I am". Apparently my mothers side has dimentia history and other mental illnesses.

I'm due to see my doc and I'll talk to him most likely

Go for the drugs, Bro.
You show some classic symptoms of depression. Suicide being one of them.
Yes, society relies too heavily on drugs, but some people need them. I think you saw that with your ADHD meds. I wish you luck and much (in the future) happiness.

 

[jnevin]

You sound like me.

I'm my own worst enemy.

 

[ortiz34]

^^me too
too hard on myself
trying to make people think you are something you really are not can eat at your brain

 

[puddlemonkey]

I'm my own worst enemy.

I'd like to apply for that position.