goodbye mother.

[stilleto]

Oh shit, now I'm gonna sound like Psych 101, but I seriously think the root of her vitriol is her own loss of youth and total projection of her insecurities onto you. There probably is a real, nuturing concern deep down for your welfare which she really doesn't know how to express beyond a weird sort of contempt.

I think the mother-daughter dynamic has got to be the reference for the primordial archtype of a creator-destroyer (Ariel?) I seriously think it's the one force that could destroy a world.


I know you know that you are none of those hateful things she implied. And I completely understand that your grief lies in the Loss of that one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally.


She needs a good flooding of crone imagery.

thanks hon.
yes, she is coming from a place where her own mother did the same things to her, and they lost their relationship over it. I am my mother's only child though- she freaked out when i moved out of state because i would be out of her reach.

Now that I'm a mother though, and my son is on the cusp of manhood, i also panic at the thought of the day he moves on. i LOVE hanging out with my son and he knows it. i can't imagine ever saying anything critical about him or to him because i want him to ALWAYS know i'm his biggest supporter, nomatter what he does or wants.

 

[Dial_tone]

So do they fire the very young, thin, attractive people when they hit 30? That would be odd. I already know they don't. I used to work for Neutrogena which is owned by J&J. There were a lot of women but they weren't any hotter than anywhere else.

 

[ConstantChange]

I think what your mother said was very hurtful and shouldn't have been said, but I hate the fact that you emailed her that you worried that given her personality, she wouldn't find anyone else after her second marriage. You got mad and dropped to her level.

Be the bigger person. If that means avoiding talking to her and seeing her...so be it. Don't let others piss poor attitude effect you.

From following your posts over the years, I know your a smart, funny, and successful women. Like my boy C-Ditty says "I don't hate - hating is for haters... let them bitches do their job..."

 

[shrimp poboy]

I think you are pretty enough to work wherever the hell you want Gab

 

[redsamurai]

wow that woman sounds bitter. That's just soul crushing. But that's the prior generation. Very bitter people cause they took the blue pill. The most deconstructive people on the planet, of course they say "it's only cause I care". Right. And what would your mother know about johnson and johnson hiring practices? That's the other thing that irks me, they think they know EVERYTHING about the world cause they've been here longer. But they insulated themselves their whole lives from reality, so in the end they know "SHIT". Very few people from that generation "moved on" to the next level. Those that didn't are visciously bitter of the later generations that were able to free themselves.

I got tasked here some time ago when I offered the notion that family is really just an accident of birth and that "true" family is something earned, not "automatic". I refute the blood is thicker than water statement ON ALL LEVELS. It's horseshit. It's an antiquated old testament notion that is "higly destructive" because it gives free rain to people who have a natural inroad into our lives. Family does things that one wouldn't tolerate outside the household.......but why do they get those free passes? If a family member proves they cannot treat you with common decency, courteousness, respect..........than they're not family no matter what. I don't care that they carry similiar DNA, it means NOTHING!!! But when you're a society of people who think our entire beings were created by the copulation of our parents, than it's easy to see why they place this superficial importance on family. Our parents are basically our creators when in reality they just provided the vehicle of transport for us to come into this reality..........no more no less. We were somewhere before and we'll be somewhere after. But while I'm here I expect a minimum standard of treatment.....family or not. If she has done stuff like this to you before 'letto, this passive aggressive bullshit type shit.........be done with her, no loss. You wouldn't be sad about getting cancer cut out of you would you?

my mother, the size 4 plastic surgery princess, who is sometimes a wonderful person, and most other times, a controlling, judgemental, overly opinionated woman, insulted me so badly on friday that I can't see how I can talk to her again.

I was on my way home from work and I called her, like i usually do.
I told her about a presentation i made that went well and she was impressed. Then i told her i'm worried about the financial stability of my company, and she got very very worried. Then i told her that a friend of mine got a job at johnson and johnson and it sounded so great. I said it's not near me, but i'm just going to look for a new job and hope that I find one before something happens to this one.

My mother said, "(long sigh)... you can't work at J&J."
I said, "Well i wasn't going to, but why not?"
(another long sigh, and then a pause). "Stilleto. (another long pause). J&J only hires.... very young, thin, attractive people."

i said, "and?"

my mother said, "You are none of those things."
i hung up on her, then didn't take her calls. She wrote me later to tell me it wasn't said to be mean- she said it because she cares.

The whole thing has gotten me very very sad. not because of the actual insult, since i know she's wrong, but because that's my MOTHER saying that. i didn't even ask her- she just felt I needed to know so badly that she felt it was her duty as my mother to let me know she doesn't think i'm hot.

i can't speak to her again. i don't want to see her and I certainly don't want to ever tell her anything anymore.
that's what has gotten me sad- the loss.

 

[redsamurai]

same now, just with neater hair and bigger boobs):

the hair is a little wild, but I would still pound you through the mattress even when your boobs weren't as big.

Speaking of which, are the twins EVER going to make an appearance again?

 

[redsamurai]

sometimes being the bigger person doesn't get the job done. "sometimes" people have to be given a dose of their own horseshit before they realize they're own spiteful and hurtful ways. Either way, it feels good to give someone back a healthy dose of git backs........it really makes you feel better, and not just short term. You really feel "fresher and lighter" after something like that. Like an irish spring commerical or something. So don't knock it bro, it's good shit.

I think what your mother said was very hurtful and shouldn't have been said, but I hate the fact that you emailed her that you worried that given her personality, she wouldn't find anyone else after her second marriage. You got mad and dropped to her level.

Be the bigger person. If that means avoiding talking to her and seeing her...so be it. Don't let others piss poor attitude effect you.

From following your posts over the years, I know your a smart, funny, and successful women. Like my boy C-Ditty says "I don't hate - hating is for haters... let them bitches do their job..."

 

[stilleto]

So do they fire the very young, thin, attractive people when they hit 30? That would be odd. I already know they don't. I used to work for Neutrogena which is owned by J&J. There were a lot of women but they weren't any hotter than anywhere else.

of course not.
The job market is just fierce now- that can't be helped. and looking good is of course important, but so is experience, references, my resume, and my reputation.

i think my mother must think that something MUST be the reason why i send out my resume and don't get called every time. She wrote it in her first email reply to me- that employers should be knocking down my door to hire me, but their not and it's because i'm not 'typically beautiful'.

of course, my picture is not on my resume, and when i DO get called for an interview, i do pretty well, but that didn't matter.

 

[stilleto]

the hair is a little wild, but I would still pound you through the mattress even when your boobs weren't as big.

Speaking of which, are the twins EVER going to make an appearance again?

i see them every day!

 

[rnch]

it's silly banter you spaz. What ami supposed to say? hey your mom sucks!

r

"internet humor" can be taken the wrong way.