goodbye mother.

[stilleto]

my mother, the size 4 plastic surgery princess, who is sometimes a wonderful person, and most other times, a controlling, judgemental, overly opinionated woman, insulted me so badly on friday that I can't see how I can talk to her again.

I was on my way home from work and I called her, like i usually do.
I told her about a presentation i made that went well and she was impressed. Then i told her i'm worried about the financial stability of my company, and she got very very worried. Then i told her that a friend of mine got a job at johnson and johnson and it sounded so great. I said it's not near me, but i'm just going to look for a new job and hope that I find one before something happens to this one.

My mother said, "(long sigh)... you can't work at J&J."
I said, "Well i wasn't going to, but why not?"
(another long sigh, and then a pause). "Stilleto. (another long pause). J&J only hires.... very young, thin, attractive people."

i said, "and?"

my mother said, "You are none of those things."
i hung up on her, then didn't take her calls. She wrote me later to tell me it wasn't said to be mean- she said it because she cares.

The whole thing has gotten me very very sad. not because of the actual insult, since i know she's wrong, but because that's my MOTHER saying that. i didn't even ask her- she just felt I needed to know so badly that she felt it was her duty as my mother to let me know she doesn't think i'm hot.

i can't speak to her again. i don't want to see her and I certainly don't want to ever tell her anything anymore.
that's what has gotten me sad- the loss.

 

[future]

I have no relationship with my mother as well. Several years back I was going to meet my dad for the first time. He no showed. My mom asked "Well what did you do to make him not come." I didnt talk to her for a year. Toxic people need to be disposed of like toxic waste if only figuratively.

 

[nefertiti]

Oh god, that's terrible.... I'm not sure I could forgive something like that either.

 

[swole]

smear dog shit on a razor blade, put the blade under her car door handle so when she goes to open the car door she cuts herself and dog shit gets in her bloodstream, giving her crazy bacteria diseases then she loses her finger (at least)

 

[SouthernLord]

My grandfather is in hospice care on his death bed. My aunt (his daughter) has been estranged from my grandparents for 10+ years. She is ate up with guilt and grief because of all the time lost between them. It was her choice to stop the relationship and whatever the petty reason was dosent matter now. She will never get that time missed back.

Just something to think about before you cut ties with your mother. Lifes short and you only have one mother. She won't be around forever.

 

[rnch]

parents say stuff to their children that they wounldn't dream of saying to a friend or co-worker.

 

[Razorguns]

Well use that as an excuse to get your butt to the gym. There's no excuse to be fat and in today's economic climate, being fat works against you in trying to get a job! So consider this tough (albiet crass) love!

r

 

[stilleto]

Oh god, that's terrible.... I'm not sure I could forgive something like that either.

Before my mother married her current husband (he's #3), she was very very worried and upset about being alone and not finding anyone.
I always reassured her that of COURSE she would find someone else. The truth was, i was worried that given her personality, she WOULDN'T find anyone else. I told her that in an email when i got home on friday. I told her that i didn't share my worry because it would only make her feel like crap, wouldn't actually change her personality, and it would drive a permanent wedge between us and that's what she did with her comment to me.

her reply was, "you're very vindictive and nasty" and then she stopped talking to me.

 

[stilleto]

Well use that as an excuse to get your butt to the gym. There's no excuse to be fat and in today's economic climate, being fat works against you in trying to get a job! So consider this tough (albiet crass) love!

r

lol. i'm not fat.
and i do workout.

and i don't need an excuse.

 

[stilleto]

My grandfather is in hospice care on his death bed. My aunt (his daughter) has been estranged from my grandparents for 10+ years. She is ate up with guilt and grief because of all the time lost between them. It was her choice to stop the relationship and whatever the petty reason was dosent matter now. She will never get that time missed back.

Just something to think about before you cut ties with your mother. Lifes short and you only have one mother. She won't be around forever.

yeah, i know. it was so hurtful though. my own mother thinks i'm not attractive enough to even apply to a major pharmaceutical company? it's not like I was asking if she thought i could be a super model.
btw, of the last 3 interviews that i went on- one was for my current job, another was a second interview at a job that was over my head, and the third didn't call me back.
so really, i think my interview to job offer ratio is pretty good.
i am 42 and no beauty queen, but i'm certainly attractive enough to work at most companies, i think. The fact that my mother doesn't think so is what is so upsetting.

 

[cindylou]

That is so sad. What is her problem? Did she have a weird relationship with her own mother?

 

[nefertiti]

Well use that as an excuse to get your butt to the gym. There's no excuse to be fat and in today's economic climate, being fat works against you in trying to get a job! So consider this tough (albiet crass) love!

r

Uh, retard, stilleto looks great and does work out.

 

[RottenWillow]

"Stilleto. (another long pause). J&J only hires.... very young, thin, attractive people."

i said, "and?"

my mother said, "You are none of those things."

Oh wow. Mija I'm so sorry. I have a abuela like that who I had to eliminate totally a few years ago, so I have some reference point. I don't think for a minute though I can imagine how it must feel having that sort of relationship with your mother though. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[75th]

That sounds...word for word...exactly like my wifes mom.

And she wonders why were going to Cancun for a week instead of spending it with them. According to her, my wifes husband should come below seeing her.

 

[stilleto]

That is so sad. What is her problem? Did she have a weird relationship with her own mother?

YES. her and her own mother haven't spoken for around... 10 years. maybe more. why? because her mother was nasty, critical, and insulting to her.

I was talking to my kids about what happened and they even both said that even if it was true that I was out of shape, old, and unnatractive... isn't it a mother's job to be supportive?

 

[RottenWillow]

It was her choice to stop the relationship and whatever the petty reason was dosent matter now.

I think you're misreading this. I could be wrong, but I think Stilleto is saying this is not an isolated incident, but the latest example of seriously insensitive, hurtful behavior on the part of her mother.

You can't change people, but if they continue to crap on you, regardless of their relationship to you, it can become necessary to cut ties with them.

 

[Razorguns]

Uh, retard, stilleto looks great and does work out.

TTIWWOP

r

 

[-SD-]

Theres certain things a parent should never say to a child and thats one of them

 

[stilleto]

That sounds...word for word...exactly like my wifes mom.

And she wonders why were going to Cancun for a week instead of spending it with them. According to her, my wifes husband should come below seeing her.

that sucks for her.
my mother was supposed to come for a visit this weekend and I told her not to come.

i don't really feel like spending the weekend feeling ugly and useless.

 

[nefertiti]

My grandfather is in hospice care on his death bed. My aunt (his daughter) has been estranged from my grandparents for 10+ years. She is ate up with guilt and grief because of all the time lost between them. It was her choice to stop the relationship and whatever the petty reason was dosent matter now. She will never get that time missed back.

Just something to think about before you cut ties with your mother. Lifes short and you only have one mother. She won't be around forever.

I understand what you're trying to say and it does have some merrit. But sometimes you really do need to distance yourself from the toxic people in your life. Someone being family doesn't obligate you to expose yourself to their hurtful and damaging behavior repeatedly. My sister has gone through the same thing with her dad...when she hit a rough spot, instead of suporting her, he was constantly critical and hurtful and detrimental to her ability to get past her problems. Eventually she all but cut ties with him because it was just too much to have to deal with and he was making her miserable every time she saw him or spoke to him.

 

[Razorguns]

Theres certain things a parent should never say to a child and thats one of them

You hear about the garbage that beat and killed his 7 y/o son here in la?? All over the news. Such ghetto trash.

r

 

[rnch]

rz, you are WAY outta line with your caustic and innacurate comments on this thread.

man up and apologise, pls.

 

[stilleto]

btw, as some of you might know, about 5 years ago (maybe more), i lost 100 lbs in around 10 months.
during that time, i had very little contact with my mother.
when i was done losing the weight, my mother said i'd look perfect if i could lose another 20.
my grandmother said i'd look great, if only i could slim down my thighs.

that is my family.

this is what i looked like (i look relatively the same now, just with neater hair and bigger boobs):

 

[Razorguns]

rz, you are WAY outta line with your caustic and innacurate comments on this thread.

man up and apologise, pls.

it's silly banter you spaz. What ami supposed to say? hey your mom sucks!

r

 

[miplank]

smear dog shit on a razor blade, put the blade under her car door handle so when she goes to open the car door she cuts herself and dog shit gets in her bloodstream, giving her crazy bacteria diseases then she loses her finger (at least)

Somebody has obviously called you ugly before.

 

[SouthernLord]

I think you're misreading this. I could be wrong, but I think Stilleto is saying this is not an isolated incident, but the latest example of seriously insensitive, hurtful behavior on the part of her mother.

You can't change people, but if they continue to crap on you, regardless of their relationship to you, it can become necessary to cut ties with them.

The petty comment was not directed at letto's situation.

I think what her mother said was pretty fucked up actually. I just couldn't imagine not having a relationship with my mother/father. I would try to work things before putting them completely out of my life.

 

[AAP]

Your mom deserves to be suplexed.

 

[BlueBird]

Oh shit, now I'm gonna sound like Psych 101, but I seriously think the root of her vitriol is her own loss of youth and total projection of her insecurities onto you. There probably is a real, nuturing concern deep down for your welfare which she really doesn't know how to express beyond a weird sort of contempt.

I think the mother-daughter dynamic has got to be the reference for the primordial archtype of a creator-destroyer (Ariel?) I seriously think it's the one force that could destroy a world.


I know you know that you are none of those hateful things she implied. And I completely understand that your grief lies in the Loss of that one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally.


She needs a good flooding of crone imagery.

 

[stilleto]

The petty comment was not directed at letto's situation.

I think what her mother said was pretty fucked up actually. I just couldn't imagine not having a relationship with my mother/father. I would try to work things before putting them completely out of my life.

no, i hear ya.
i don't want to not have a relationship with her. i don't know how i will at this point. i mean, first of all, right now i'm too mad and hurt to want to talk to her, but even once i get over it, i don't think i'll want to SEE her, or have her see me, knowing how little she thinks of my looks.

my hair is never "cute" enough, i don't dress well enough, my dogs are not well behaved enough, my kids are too quiet, she can't understand why i don't hire a cleaning woman, get botox, or shop in designer stores only.

even with all of that, I'm always a good host when she visits. Even she says so.

well i can't anymore.

 

[SouthernLord]

btw, as some of you might know, about 5 years ago (maybe more), i lost 100 lbs in around 10 months.
during that time, i had very little contact with my mother.
when i was done losing the weight, my mother said i'd look perfect if i could lose another 20.
my grandmother said i'd look great, if only i could slim down my thighs.

that is my family.

That's really fucked up. I'm sure they are and always have been completely perfect

Maybe you should just do what swole suggested lol.

 

[stilleto]

Oh shit, now I'm gonna sound like Psych 101, but I seriously think the root of her vitriol is her own loss of youth and total projection of her insecurities onto you. There probably is a real, nuturing concern deep down for your welfare which she really doesn't know how to express beyond a weird sort of contempt.

I think the mother-daughter dynamic has got to be the reference for the primordial archtype of a creator-destroyer (Ariel?) I seriously think it's the one force that could destroy a world.


I know you know that you are none of those hateful things she implied. And I completely understand that your grief lies in the Loss of that one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally.


She needs a good flooding of crone imagery.

thanks hon.
yes, she is coming from a place where her own mother did the same things to her, and they lost their relationship over it. I am my mother's only child though- she freaked out when i moved out of state because i would be out of her reach.

Now that I'm a mother though, and my son is on the cusp of manhood, i also panic at the thought of the day he moves on. i LOVE hanging out with my son and he knows it. i can't imagine ever saying anything critical about him or to him because i want him to ALWAYS know i'm his biggest supporter, nomatter what he does or wants.

 

[Dial_tone]

So do they fire the very young, thin, attractive people when they hit 30? That would be odd. I already know they don't. I used to work for Neutrogena which is owned by J&J. There were a lot of women but they weren't any hotter than anywhere else.

 

[ConstantChange]

I think what your mother said was very hurtful and shouldn't have been said, but I hate the fact that you emailed her that you worried that given her personality, she wouldn't find anyone else after her second marriage. You got mad and dropped to her level.

Be the bigger person. If that means avoiding talking to her and seeing her...so be it. Don't let others piss poor attitude effect you.

From following your posts over the years, I know your a smart, funny, and successful women. Like my boy C-Ditty says "I don't hate - hating is for haters... let them bitches do their job..."

 

[shrimp poboy]

I think you are pretty enough to work wherever the hell you want Gab

 

[redsamurai]

wow that woman sounds bitter. That's just soul crushing. But that's the prior generation. Very bitter people cause they took the blue pill. The most deconstructive people on the planet, of course they say "it's only cause I care". Right. And what would your mother know about johnson and johnson hiring practices? That's the other thing that irks me, they think they know EVERYTHING about the world cause they've been here longer. But they insulated themselves their whole lives from reality, so in the end they know "SHIT". Very few people from that generation "moved on" to the next level. Those that didn't are visciously bitter of the later generations that were able to free themselves.

I got tasked here some time ago when I offered the notion that family is really just an accident of birth and that "true" family is something earned, not "automatic". I refute the blood is thicker than water statement ON ALL LEVELS. It's horseshit. It's an antiquated old testament notion that is "higly destructive" because it gives free rain to people who have a natural inroad into our lives. Family does things that one wouldn't tolerate outside the household.......but why do they get those free passes? If a family member proves they cannot treat you with common decency, courteousness, respect..........than they're not family no matter what. I don't care that they carry similiar DNA, it means NOTHING!!! But when you're a society of people who think our entire beings were created by the copulation of our parents, than it's easy to see why they place this superficial importance on family. Our parents are basically our creators when in reality they just provided the vehicle of transport for us to come into this reality..........no more no less. We were somewhere before and we'll be somewhere after. But while I'm here I expect a minimum standard of treatment.....family or not. If she has done stuff like this to you before 'letto, this passive aggressive bullshit type shit.........be done with her, no loss. You wouldn't be sad about getting cancer cut out of you would you?

my mother, the size 4 plastic surgery princess, who is sometimes a wonderful person, and most other times, a controlling, judgemental, overly opinionated woman, insulted me so badly on friday that I can't see how I can talk to her again.

I was on my way home from work and I called her, like i usually do.
I told her about a presentation i made that went well and she was impressed. Then i told her i'm worried about the financial stability of my company, and she got very very worried. Then i told her that a friend of mine got a job at johnson and johnson and it sounded so great. I said it's not near me, but i'm just going to look for a new job and hope that I find one before something happens to this one.

My mother said, "(long sigh)... you can't work at J&J."
I said, "Well i wasn't going to, but why not?"
(another long sigh, and then a pause). "Stilleto. (another long pause). J&J only hires.... very young, thin, attractive people."

i said, "and?"

my mother said, "You are none of those things."
i hung up on her, then didn't take her calls. She wrote me later to tell me it wasn't said to be mean- she said it because she cares.

The whole thing has gotten me very very sad. not because of the actual insult, since i know she's wrong, but because that's my MOTHER saying that. i didn't even ask her- she just felt I needed to know so badly that she felt it was her duty as my mother to let me know she doesn't think i'm hot.

i can't speak to her again. i don't want to see her and I certainly don't want to ever tell her anything anymore.
that's what has gotten me sad- the loss.

 

[redsamurai]

same now, just with neater hair and bigger boobs):

the hair is a little wild, but I would still pound you through the mattress even when your boobs weren't as big.

Speaking of which, are the twins EVER going to make an appearance again?

 

[redsamurai]

sometimes being the bigger person doesn't get the job done. "sometimes" people have to be given a dose of their own horseshit before they realize they're own spiteful and hurtful ways. Either way, it feels good to give someone back a healthy dose of git backs........it really makes you feel better, and not just short term. You really feel "fresher and lighter" after something like that. Like an irish spring commerical or something. So don't knock it bro, it's good shit.

I think what your mother said was very hurtful and shouldn't have been said, but I hate the fact that you emailed her that you worried that given her personality, she wouldn't find anyone else after her second marriage. You got mad and dropped to her level.

Be the bigger person. If that means avoiding talking to her and seeing her...so be it. Don't let others piss poor attitude effect you.

From following your posts over the years, I know your a smart, funny, and successful women. Like my boy C-Ditty says "I don't hate - hating is for haters... let them bitches do their job..."

 

[stilleto]

So do they fire the very young, thin, attractive people when they hit 30? That would be odd. I already know they don't. I used to work for Neutrogena which is owned by J&J. There were a lot of women but they weren't any hotter than anywhere else.

of course not.
The job market is just fierce now- that can't be helped. and looking good is of course important, but so is experience, references, my resume, and my reputation.

i think my mother must think that something MUST be the reason why i send out my resume and don't get called every time. She wrote it in her first email reply to me- that employers should be knocking down my door to hire me, but their not and it's because i'm not 'typically beautiful'.

of course, my picture is not on my resume, and when i DO get called for an interview, i do pretty well, but that didn't matter.

 

[stilleto]

the hair is a little wild, but I would still pound you through the mattress even when your boobs weren't as big.

Speaking of which, are the twins EVER going to make an appearance again?

i see them every day!

 

[rnch]

it's silly banter you spaz. What ami supposed to say? hey your mom sucks!

r

"internet humor" can be taken the wrong way.

 

[Razorguns]

Speaking of, where's Bikinimom lately???? I miss her 10 paragraph replies.

r

 

[Sweetasfrank]

I was estranged from my father for a few years till he got sick. I got back in touch with him and he was still the same old a**!
The bad new is i've resigned myself in the knowledge that he will never be capable of properly communicating his love for me as a father. The good news is that i know in some twisted way he did and still does love me..
Although the words that come out of his mouth aren't always what a child wants to hear, his actions definitely speak louder in more ways than he'll ever admit.
He's stubborn as fuck when it comes to accepting he's wrong/apologising, which kinda sounds like your mum...but rather than give him the benefit of arguing over it, it's better to take that with a pinch of salt and know that deep down somewhere, both he and i know who was in the wrong...that works for me. And it's far more satisfying. As frustrating as it is, it's hard to change someone who is so set in their ways, and sometimes trying to fix it causes more damage..

 

[SpyWizard]

my mother, the size 4 plastic surgery princess, who is sometimes a wonderful person, and most other times, a controlling, judgemental, overly opinionated woman, insulted me so badly on friday that I can't see how I can talk to her again.

I was on my way home from work and I called her, like i usually do.
I told her about a presentation i made that went well and she was impressed. Then i told her i'm worried about the financial stability of my company, and she got very very worried. Then i told her that a friend of mine got a job at johnson and johnson and it sounded so great. I said it's not near me, but i'm just going to look for a new job and hope that I find one before something happens to this one.

My mother said, "(long sigh)... you can't work at J&J."
I said, "Well i wasn't going to, but why not?"
(another long sigh, and then a pause). "Stilleto. (another long pause). J&J only hires.... very young, thin, attractive people."

i said, "and?"

my mother said, "You are none of those things."
i hung up on her, then didn't take her calls. She wrote me later to tell me it wasn't said to be mean- she said it because she cares.

The whole thing has gotten me very very sad. not because of the actual insult, since i know she's wrong, but because that's my MOTHER saying that. i didn't even ask her- she just felt I needed to know so badly that she felt it was her duty as my mother to let me know she doesn't think i'm hot.

i can't speak to her again. i don't want to see her and I certainly don't want to ever tell her anything anymore.
that's what has gotten me sad- the loss.

hmmm... only read this post so here goes...

mho..

I think you and i are close in age, i assume our mom's are close in age as well... mine is passed away this last 1.5 yrs... I know you are younger.. but..

My mom would have said the same thing, she wants to protect you, they often ask themself a question.. "why will this not work"??

rather than, "what can i do to make this work" this was something that took me some 12 years to teach her, a simple thing really..

All she wanted to do is protect you from rejection.. did she do a good job?? no, have you punished her enough by rejecting her by not calling??

we don't need to punish them, when you let her know that if she meant to or not, she hurt you dearly, she will beat herself up way more than you can ever do.. so, we only have a short time with our parents, don't regret your life, or your decisions..

hope that helps..

 

[cindylou]

hmmm... only read this post so here goes...

mho..

I think you and i are close in age, i assume our mom's are close in age as well... mine is passed away this last 1.5 yrs... I know you are younger.. but..

My mom would have said the same thing, she wants to protect you, they often ask themself a question.. "why will this not work"??

rather than, "what can i do to make this work" this was something that took me some 12 years to teach her, a simple thing really..

All she wanted to do is protect you from rejection.. did she do a good job?? no, have you punished her enough by rejecting her by not calling??

we don't need to punish them, when you let her know that if she meant to or not, she hurt you dearly, she will beat herself up way more than you can ever do.. so, we only have a short time with our parents, don't regret your life, or your decisions..

hope that helps..

I think she should forgive her mother, yes; But there is no excuse for this kind of behavior. None. I wouldnt go out of my way to get myself hurt again if I was her. She does not have to be close with her mother ; but she neednt be totally estranged either.

 

[jackangel]

Does she know you're an Elite Mod? Mother better recognize.

 

[redsamurai]

i see them every day!

fine, lucky you..........but when are "we" going to see them again?

 

[redsamurai]

Does she know you're an Elite Mod? Mother better recognize.

I didn't think about that, it was a "bantable" offense afterall.......

 

[ortiz34]

Sorry to hear about that.
My father has said some nasty stuff to me that is crushing.

I can relate. ((hugs))

you're not alone, and I know it doesn't make it easier, because it sucks

 

[PICK3]

My mom once called me a Mo

 

[jackangel]

By the way, not all mothers are the same. Some suck hardcore. Mine is cool and would never say something like that, but whatevz.

Whatevz, you know?

 

[Smurfy]

parents are supposed to make you feel better about yourself. not worse.

 

[ortiz34]

parents are supposed to make you feel better about yourself. not worse.

+1
I never understood degrading and verbally abusive parenting.

 

[Melaina]

I am at a complete loss for words... I just can't believe that a mother would do that to her child, I am so sorry

 

[75th]

Speaking of, where's Bikinimom lately???? I miss her 10 paragraph replies.

r

She would have a fuckin field day with this thread.

 

[Razorguns]

She would have a fuckin field day with this thread.

Probably 50 replies by now. I'm gonna search and see if she posted a thread saying she's leaving or something. Someone do some research and get back to me!

r

 

[Cutiebaby]

That's horrible. She is your mother, even if those things were true (which those that have seen you/pictures knows its not) she should not say it anyway. Just due to her being your mother she needs to have your feelings take account for something.

People like that do not deserve you. I know she is your mother and it is a harsh thing to decide. However, if she has nothing nice to offer you (at all) than you are better off without the nonsense. If this was a one time rudeness than maybe there is something going on in her life that has you so stressed. You need to keep in mind that you only get one mother in this world.

Very tough situation regardless. My mother drives me nuts and makes me want to smash my head into a wall, however she is my mum. So I stand by her idiotic ways....I would be very conflicted if I were in your shoes.

 

[stilleto]

parents are supposed to make you feel better about yourself. not worse.

yeah, i know.
i've been having the most messed up conversation with her - i'm showing her that she acted JUST like her mother, who she doesn't talk to. She said it's not the same at all, because her mother said things like that to her to be mean, and she didn't. I said I bet grandma wouldn't agree with that. I also asked her how she feels now that I just told her something very similar. she said i'm just being mean and vindictive.

okay... and the difference is what?
so i asked if it would be ok if i said it because i care?
she's not talking to me now.

i can't deal with it. she holds money over my head to make me think it's okay.

 

[stilleto]

Sorry to hear about that.
My father has said some nasty stuff to me that is crushing.

I can relate. ((hugs))

you're not alone, and I know it doesn't make it easier, because it sucks

did you ever get past it?
(it's not what she said, it's the fact that my own mother said it, for no reason).

 

[ortiz34]

did you ever get past it?
(it's not what she said, it's the fact that my own mother said it, for no reason).

past it?

oh yeah totally.. if you enjoy becoming a non-confident, anxiety ridden,hard drug user(clean now)

other than that it's been a breeze

I love my life right now with my daughter and wife and that's all the joy I need in the end

 

[Stefka]

I find this thread to be rather pathetic.
Family members say fucked up things to each other. That is the way things go. Get over it. Your idyllic vision of a mother-daughter relationship does not exist in reality.
So your mother is a bitch, most mothers are bitches. So your mother didnt say you were beautiful, I'm fucking sobbing over here.
Is she unpleasant? Sure, I'll give you that. This isn't worth the drama you're giving it. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled, sheltered, mommy doesn't love me bullshit to me.
Go out to brunch and get over yourselves.

 

[Razorguns]

I find this thread to be rather pathetic.
Family members say fucked up things to each other. That is the way things go. Get over it. Your idyllic vision of a mother-daughter relationship does not exist in reality.
So your mother is a bitch, most mothers are bitches. So your mother didnt say you were beautiful, I'm fucking sobbing over here.
Is she unpleasant? Sure, I'll give you that. This isn't worth the drama you're giving it. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled, sheltered, mommy doesn't love me bullshit to me.
Go out to brunch and get over yourselves.

You got balls. If i had said that exact paragraph people would throw their used laundry at me (then I would clean and sell it ha!)

Your approach is mean tho. This is obviously important to the op.

r

 

[Whiskey]

ouch, that sucks. You want me to throw a brick through her windshield?

Whiskey

 

[stilleto]

I find this thread to be rather pathetic.
Family members say fucked up things to each other. That is the way things go. Get over it. Your idyllic vision of a mother-daughter relationship does not exist in reality.
So your mother is a bitch, most mothers are bitches. So your mother didnt say you were beautiful, I'm fucking sobbing over here.
Is she unpleasant? Sure, I'll give you that. This isn't worth the drama you're giving it. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled, sheltered, mommy doesn't love me bullshit to me.
Go out to brunch and get over yourselves.

family members say fucked up things to each other?
sounds like you're still dealing with it by that attitude of yours.

i hope you dont have kids.

 

[Smurfy]

I find this thread to be rather pathetic.
Family members say fucked up things to each other. That is the way things go. Get over it. Your idyllic vision of a mother-daughter relationship does not exist in reality.
So your mother is a bitch, most mothers are bitches. So your mother didnt say you were beautiful, I'm fucking sobbing over here.
Is she unpleasant? Sure, I'll give you that. This isn't worth the drama you're giving it. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled, sheltered, mommy doesn't love me bullshit to me.
Go out to brunch and get over yourselves.

damn dude. what's your mom like?

 

[nefertiti]

I find this thread to be rather pathetic.
Family members say fucked up things to each other. That is the way things go. Get over it. Your idyllic vision of a mother-daughter relationship does not exist in reality.
So your mother is a bitch, most mothers are bitches. So your mother didnt say you were beautiful, I'm fucking sobbing over here.
Is she unpleasant? Sure, I'll give you that. This isn't worth the drama you're giving it. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled, sheltered, mommy doesn't love me bullshit to me.
Go out to brunch and get over yourselves.

Whoa! Disagree with you TOTALLY.

No one in my family would DREAM of saying anything like that to me and I don't think I'm out of line by saying that's the way it should be. If you got stuck with a crappy family (or crappier) it doesn't make stilleto less justified in being upset with hers. Way way unnecessarily hostile post.

 

[PICK3]

Knot a commentary on Stilleto's looks, cuz she's a hawt looking Katie Segal look-a-like ...

I don't know what J&J peeps look like, butt for the most part the Pharmaceutical Sales Reps in my area are generally extremely attractive and knot seen their 30th b-day which suggest so sort of discrimination.

just sayin'

 

[redsamurai]

damn, somebody threw a superman punch up in this thread.........to the face!...

 

[stilleto]

Knot a commentary on Stilleto's looks, cuz she's a hawt looking Katie Segal look-a-like ...

I don't know what J&J peeps look like, butt for the most part the Pharmaceutical Sales Reps in my area are generally extremely attractive and knot seen their 30th b-day which suggest so sort of discrimination.

just sayin'

pharmaceutical sales is different. that IS a younger, attractive group of people.
i'm a marketing manager.

 

[BlueBird]

I find this thread to be rather pathetic.
Family members say fucked up things to each other. That is the way things go. Get over it. Your idyllic vision of a mother-daughter relationship does not exist in reality.
So your mother is a bitch, most mothers are bitches. So your mother didnt say you were beautiful, I'm fucking sobbing over here.
Is she unpleasant? Sure, I'll give you that. This isn't worth the drama you're giving it. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled, sheltered, mommy doesn't love me bullshit to me.
Go out to brunch and get over yourselves.

Oh hells bells. I love both you ladies.

I don't think Stil ever expected an idyllic relationship with her mom, but she did expect what the rest of we children do, unconditional love. It's not our mom's job to tell us (IF) we have deficits, the rest of the world will oblige. She felt betrayed and that is where her grief lies.

 

[PICK3]

pharmaceutical sales is different. that IS a younger, attractive group of people.
i'm a marketing manager.

I understand.

My point was, perhaps your mom seen 2 J&J people who happened to look like 24 y.o. supermodels and deduced that all people there looked that way.

Not the greatest display of logic, butt when it cums to moms voicing opinions logic doesn't always prevail.

 

[stilleto]

I understand.

My point was, perhaps your mom seen 2 J&J people who happened to look like 24 y.o. supermodels and deduced that all people there looked that way.

Not the greatest display of logic, butt when it cums to mom's voicing opinions logic doesn't always prevail.

that would be a very plausible explanation for most people, but it's doubtful that it's the case this time- she does know a lot about pharmaceutical sales- her second husband started his career as one. but she also knows that I work in a corporate environment and not in sales.

i really am not bothered by my mother's thoughts- i don't care if she thinks i'm an ogre.
I come from a long line of models, professional ballet dancers, and plastic surgery recipients. If i was insecure about my appearance, i'd never have a family because i am taller, bigger, and not as attractive as any other woman in my family. i don't care. i just wish my mother didn't feel like she had to remind me of that for no reason.

 

[redsamurai]

and not as attractive as any other woman in my family. i don't care. .

see that's just a bullshit statement right here. Beauty is such a relative thing but we're all so fucking preconditioned by this society it's disgusting. If some people looked at your family tree they may very well agree with your assessment. Others may look at the exact same pictures and say bish you trippin. God when did we become this repellantly homogenized?

 

[stilleto]

see that's just a bullshit statement right here. Beauty is such a relative thing but we're all so fucking preconditioned by this society it's disgusting. If some people looked at your family tree they may very well agree with your assessment. Others may look at the exact same pictures and say bish you trippin. God when did we become this repellantly homogenized?

for the same reason that I don't care if I have a designer purse, is the same reason i don't care if i'm a size 2 with a model's face.

i'm fine with who i am. my mother is not. she told me last night that she has wanted to talk to me about my appearance for years.

what about it? my hair is too long, i don't wear lipstick, anything over a size 8 is fat, tshirts (even on the weekend) are wrong, handmade jewelry (the stuff i make) is ugly, and probably lots of other things I don't pay attention to or care about.

 

[redsamurai]

pics or stfu

for the same reason that I don't care if I have a designer purse, is the same reason i don't care if i'm a size 2 with a model's face.

i'm fine with who i am. my mother is not. she told me last night that she has wanted to talk to me about my appearance for years.

what about it? my hair is too long, i don't wear lipstick, anything over a size 8 is fat, tshirts (even on the weekend) are wrong, handmade jewelry (the stuff i make) is ugly, and probably lots of other things I don't pay attention to or care about.

yeah like seriously, pics now. Can we at least see the twins clothed?

 

[jackangel]

How much can she pull off the floor? Below the knee? If she isn't repping with at least 200*, she's a terrible mother. Tell her I said so.





* chalk only

 

[Razorguns]

God when did we become this repellantly homogenized?

The day that people started goign to clubs on weekends and finding out the hard just how 'attractive' they are when they try to hit on people. "Everyone is beautiful" theory ends at the club door.

r

 

[cindylou]

The day that people started goign to clubs on weekends and finding out the hard just how 'attractive' they are when they try to hit on people. "Everyone is beautiful" theory ends at the club door.

r

the fucking CLUB is ten years of your life tops. TOPS.

what a shallow existance to think what people at a CLUB thinks actually matters in the whole scheme of things

all of those type of people deserve eachother

 

[Razorguns]

the fucking CLUB is ten years of your life tops. TOPS.

what a shallow existance to think what people at a CLUB thinks actually matters in the whole scheme of things

all of those type of people deserve eachother

It's what's important to peoel from ages 14-40. People need to find partners, get married and procreate. No one congrulates someone on EF when they proudly claim they gained 10lbs.

Oh crap, thread going off a tangent! Shit, i've become exaclty who I hate.

r

 

[stilleto]

by the way, i hope she doesn't me saying this, but i got a very helpful, warm, (and long. ) pm from bikinimom, which helped me put some things in perspective and understand a little better.
I want to publicly thank her.

thank you.

 

[cindylou]

why aint she postin anymore

 

[ortiz34]

Hope you are feeling better today

 

[stilleto]

why aint she postin anymore

she's busy.
she will though.

and thank you ortiz, i am better. nothing has changed, except i feel ok.

 

[redsamurai]

The day that people started goign to clubs on weekends and finding out the hard just how 'attractive' they are when they try to hit on people. "Everyone is beautiful" theory ends at the club door.

r

ok, if your life revolves around "those" people.....fine, I see your point. Thankfully those people are beneath me, I have no use for them. Those are the people who look like utter shit by the time they hit 40 cause they lived too hard. Those are the people that will need to be supported by the universal healthcare system by the time they're in their 50's cause so much has gone wrong with their bodies that they're in the hospital once every couple of months. No thanks. I plan on being virile well into my 80's.

 

[nangiggles]

my mother, the size 4 plastic surgery princess, who is sometimes a wonderful person, and most other times, a controlling, judgemental, overly opinionated woman, insulted me so badly on friday that I can't see how I can talk to her again.

I was on my way home from work and I called her, like i usually do.
I told her about a presentation i made that went well and she was impressed. Then i told her i'm worried about the financial stability of my company, and she got very very worried. Then i told her that a friend of mine got a job at johnson and johnson and it sounded so great. I said it's not near me, but i'm just going to look for a new job and hope that I find one before something happens to this one.

My mother said, "(long sigh)... you can't work at J&J."
I said, "Well i wasn't going to, but why not?"
(another long sigh, and then a pause). "Stilleto. (another long pause). J&J only hires.... very young, thin, attractive people."

i said, "and?"

my mother said, "You are none of those things."
i hung up on her, then didn't take her calls. She wrote me later to tell me it wasn't said to be mean- she said it because she cares.

The whole thing has gotten me very very sad. not because of the actual insult, since i know she's wrong, but because that's my MOTHER saying that. i didn't even ask her- she just felt I needed to know so badly that she felt it was her duty as my mother to let me know she doesn't think i'm hot.

i can't speak to her again. i don't want to see her and I certainly don't want to ever tell her anything anymore.
that's what has gotten me sad- the loss.

I get your point... it's sad when someone else like a friend or an HR recruiter doesnt think ur good/pretty enough to fill a job but when someone close to you and who is supposed to love you thinks it and even worse says it it's plain hurtful.... my sister was looking for a job and when she asked mom how she looked for the interview my mom told her she should wear something nicer since she had to make a good impression because all the pretty and thin people got the jobs first....

Reminds me of the mom in 2 and a half men

 

[Razorguns]

ok, if your life revolves around "those" people.....fine, I see your point. Thankfully those people are beneath me, I have no use for them. Those are the people who look like utter shit by the time they hit 40 cause they lived too hard. Those are the people that will need to be supported by the universal healthcare system by the time they're in their 50's cause so much has gone wrong with their bodies that they're in the hospital once every couple of months. No thanks. I plan on being virile well into my 80's.

lol @ looks don't matter. Lemme know when ur a 250lb man trying to hit on a attractive chick, tell me how that goes.

r

 

[stilleto]

I get your point... it's sad when someone else like a friend or an HR recruiter doesnt think ur good/pretty enough to fill a job but when someone close to you and who is supposed to love you thinks it and even worse says it it's plain hurtful.... my sister was looking for a job and when she asked mom how she looked for the interview my mom told her she should wear something nicer since she had to make a good impression because all the pretty and thin people got the jobs first....

Reminds me of the mom in 2 and a half men

i'm not really an overly sensitive person, i don't think. i have asked my mom how something looked on me for a special occasion or interview and she has said, "not good". That doesn't bother me at all (except i hate to shop).
i have showed her other jobs i wanted and she said she didn't think i'm qualified. no issue with that.
this was different.

i think this time it's just the final straw after years of controlling, judgemental, uncalled for remarks.

 

[puddlemonkey]

Reminds me of the mom in 2 and a half men

Great show

 

[puddlemonkey]

why aint she postin anymore

I welcome her back with open arms.

 

[nangiggles]

i'm not really an overly sensitive person, i don't think. i have asked my mom how something looked on me for a special occasion or interview and she has said, "not good". That doesn't bother me at all (except i hate to shop).
i have showed her other jobs i wanted and she said she didn't think i'm qualified. no issue with that.
this was different.

i think this time it's just the final straw after years of controlling, judgemental, uncalled for remarks.

It's sad when you have to "learn" how to deal with ur mother... mine hates floral designs/lines on clothing so as a kid/teen if I wore anything with these patterns and I was foolish enough to ask how I looked she would say I looked like a couch or a pair of curtains.... wonderful.... now I know better and dont ask....

 

[PICK3]

My mom once called me a Mo

and she dresses me funny

 

[Johnny Cakes]

How to Handle a Girl Who Insulted You | eHow.com

 

[ortiz34]

i think this time it's just the final straw after years of controlling, judgemental, uncalled for remarks.

try taking your mom
make a male version
and he's my dad and my boss also

FML X 2

 

[stilleto]

try taking your mom
make a male version
and he's my dad and my boss also

FML X 2

lol
i worked for one of my stepfathers for 14 years. He's bipolar.

i feel ya.

 

[ortiz34]

lol

i feel ya.

slightly, ...lol


kill me now

 

[puddlemonkey]

Pussies. Just throw the flex down and show em who's boss!

 

[redsamurai]

lol @ looks don't matter. Lemme know when ur a 250lb man trying to hit on a attractive chick, tell me how that goes.

r

looks matter in certain circles, I'm totally with you on that one. The thing of it is that the people with whom it matters are the most distasteful people we have..

And yeah, I am 250......well ok, 258 this morning. Anyway, I know full well that most girls do not like men to be even over 200 pounds. That's fine with me. I refuse to tailor my existence in accordance with the MTV bylaws, simply not happening.