feeling totally, completely hopeless :(

[getnfit06]

I have a long history of dieting n exercising then quitting, etc., etc. I cannot stick with anything. Even though I want it so much.
This has been such a source of frustration for me. In the last year I have put on some pounds and am quite a bit heavier than I was. I feel like i'm looking at someone else's body when i look in the mirror.
I just don't know what to do, I hate myself so much right now and feel so hopeless.
I was on atkins for almost a full two weeks then slipped up and just used that as an excuse to "just have this, then i'll get back on" but it just doesn't stop. I feel extremely fat and bloated and yucky now.
My husband noticed my weight gain tonight (he never says anything but he did mention i'd put on a little weight) . Well that just made me feel horrible

I really could use some good advice right now.

cheryl

 

[supercop]

Well I am a guy so take this with a grain of salt but the key for anyone is consistency. You can't ever stop working out if you want to maintain a healthy fit body it has to become part of your life. Secondly, forget the fad diets and just get in the habit of eating healthier and have a day during the week where you eat a food thats not good for you so you aren't as likely to slip up. Eventually it gets alot easier and you won't crave the foods that are bad for you as much. Best of luck =)

 

[Tatyana]

Well I am a guy so take this with a grain of salt but the key for anyone is consistency. You can't ever stop working out if you want to maintain a healthy fit body it has to become part of your life. Secondly, forget the fad diets and just get in the habit of eating healthier and have a day during the week where you eat a food thats not good for you so you aren't as likely to slip up. Eventually it gets alot easier and you won't crave the foods that are bad for you as much. Best of luck =)

+ 1

Diets are the ban of looking good for life.

Also, the whole thing about being a quitter, how about you phrase that another way.

It is all about the steps you are taking to learn how to live a healthy lifestyle.

It will sometimes be one step forward, two steps back, and often it will be babysteps.

Also the hating how you look and wanting it so bad.

Again, so often it is the head that leads, and what and how you think about yourself and what you are doing has a HUGE impact on your actions.

I found I had the best progress and I was able to transform my body when I really accepted what was the reality of my body, this is how it is right now, and I am going to love the skin I am in.

Yes that is tough, but there is this French existentialist expression 'The longer you resist, the longer it persists'.

One place to start looking to keep you motivated WHY you want to be physically fit.

The whole 'looking good' thing is a motivation, but really it is just icing on the cake.

It is ego-based, and ego won't keep you going.

I will share mine with you. I go to the gym cause I know it makes a difference in the world, and I like to make a difference with people.

It is one of my major motivations, that everyone is well and feels beautiful.

When people are happy in the skin they are in, then they start looking for other ways and places they can make a difference with other people, and the world gets to be a much better and happier place.

Works for me.

Also, to get into shape, and to make it easy to maintain that weight, weight-training (I will even go so far as to say bodybuilding), is essential.

If you want help with specifics, then please feel free to post up a typical days diet and what you do for training.

 

[getnfit06]

a typical days diet when i'm trying to watch it is verrry low carb, meats, veggies, no bread or fruit or nuts. I feel pretty good on that although in the beginning there are 2-3 days of feeling crappy but after that i feel great and not as hungry and have more willpower to resist things i shouldn't eat. but if i allow myself a cheat, for some reason i continue in this thinking " well i'll go ahead and eat these cracker , or these cookies now before i get back on." and then i just can't get back on. I have a weakness for sweets. Diabetes runs in the family so i need to be careful. I need someone to follow me around i guess and make me exercise and stop me from eating crap. LOL That is pathetic i know, i am very lacking in the self control dept.
I' m thinking a new eating plan but it can't be too complicated becuase i'm so busy with kids, etc. i just can't give it tons of thought. or maybe i should try the low carb again. It does diminish my desire for sweets!
Training, ugh i have dumbells a barbell i hate, a treadmill that is stuck on the highest incline (mechanical probs) but runs.
I was looking at a Jeri Love exercise dvd and maybe getting a step. If you don't know who she is, it seems like mostly a training dvd which i like, i'm not into arobics haha. It uses weights and a step. I would love to get a weight machine but not enuff cashola on hand.

 

[getnfit06]

Ok i've been doing some reading about ckd diets. This sounds like a possiblity for me maybe.
Since it uses the low carb eating through the week (and i have a lot of recipes that i really like) it'd be a no brainer, then I could have some le-way on the wkend with the carbs. I don't know, maybe.Thoughts???????

 

[cindylou]

what is your workout pgm like?

ckd is still asking for trouble - binge eating and the like -

imo -i think you should try a balanced diet of plain old fashioned calorie counting.

 

[curvymommy]

Hi Cheryl. I can relate with you. What works for me is to figure out your basal metabolic rate (BMR) Here is a useful link:

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

Mine is 1500 calories a day. I try to eat that many calories in the following areas:
Lean dense protiens
loads of veggies
eggs (2 a day)
Good quality Whole wheat bread
Sweet potato or red potato
raw almonds
All natural Peanut butter
ect...

Anyway that and a ton of water and calorie free beverages. My one vice is coffee but I drink a lot of water before and after.

If you have a hard time with night eating try going to bed earlier. I killed my TV a couple weeks ago and I'm eating less and resting more.

My background is in obesity and what to do to get over that. Trust me when I say GET OFF The diet roller coaster.

A year ago I only allowed myself 3 protein shakes a day (that is only 900 calories a day) No exercise. I lost 10 pounds and gained back 15. I was so pissed!!! That's when I started working out and doing the BMR thing. Now my health, confidence and mood is so much better.

To me a "diet"=failing=downward spiral of shame. I hate that feeling!!!

Good Luck! The ladies here are EXTREMELY helpful and knowlegeable.

 

[Tatyana]

Ok i've been doing some reading about ckd diets. This sounds like a possiblity for me maybe.
Since it uses the low carb eating through the week (and i have a lot of recipes that i really like) it'd be a no brainer, then I could have some le-way on the wkend with the carbs. I don't know, maybe.Thoughts???????

I am not sure why people want to take on diets like this unless they are competitive BBers.

Even then, the low carb thing does not work for everyone.

I would suggest that looking at healthy eating that you can maintain for life is the best way to go.

Carbs are not the 'baddies' that everyone makes them out to be, it is really more of a matter of calories in and calories out.

Think about it this way, the last 'baddie' in popular dieting was fat, everything was low fat, really, that is still promoted.

What has happened having a lot less fat in the diet over the last 20 years, we have an obesity crisis on our hands.

Taking out one of the major macronutrients out of your diet is always going to be a short term solution.

The thing with short term solutions, you get short term results.

If you do want to manipulate your carbs, then you might want to consider something like carb tapering, so eat carbs until early evening, then cut them out.

You also want to consider that all carbs are not created equally.

 

[fitness-rubber]

I am not sure why people want to take on diets like this unless they are competitive BBers.

Even then, the low carb thing does not work for everyone.

I would suggest that looking at healthy eating that you can maintain for life is the best way to go.

Carbs are not the 'baddies' that everyone makes them out to be, it is really more of a matter of calories in and calories out.

Think about it this way, the last 'baddie' in popular dieting was fat, everything was low fat, really, that is still promoted.

What has happened having a lot less fat in the diet over the last 20 years, we have an obesity crisis on our hands.

Taking out one of the major macronutrients out of your diet is always going to be a short term solution.

The thing with short term solutions, you get short term results.

If you do want to manipulate your carbs, then you might want to consider something like carb tapering, so eat carbs until early evening, then cut them out.

You also want to consider that all carbs are not created equally.

As hard as it is - having been frustrated and committed to losing weight at various times and having been eating disordered for a number of years - this is true. Restricting, assuming that any food is "bad" or "good" and rigidly trying to follow a set pattern isn't helpful in the long run - not as much as we'd like it to be at least.

Mostly though, no matter how frustrating it is, your body can and will change - hating yourself is only going to make it much harder (though i'm sorry for the pain that you're feeling).

 

[localgirl]

I have a gf who is going through the same thing & Ive been watching her progress & then fail miserably. Because she will be dedicated for a week & then reward herself with a weekend of boozing & binge eating ( usually comes w/ hangovers..) she tells me how frustrated she is with the whole thing & Ive tryed explaining to her that it is just commitment. Like with any goal you want to reach, you have to keep pushing & working hard even after its obtained, you want to keep what you've worked so hard for, right?
I found working out becomes more of a lifestyle imo.
While my friends get all excited for the weekend, to get dolled up & go out & party like a rockstar. I know that while I may go out for dinner & a couple of martini's, there is no way I am going to club with them after dinner, because it is simply put- BRUTAL- to be waking up & dragging your booze stinkin' booty to the gym. I do get called, by my friends, no fun anymore, but while they are regretting the decisions they made while they were inibriated, I am up & feeling great & staying commited to my plan to be fit & healthy.
Dont get down on yourself lady, you simply need a plan you can stick to, and once you start seeing real progress, that will give you the drive to keep on it.
The moderators on this board are simply brilliant & I am sure would be more than happy to help you put together something.
Good luck to you & remember, You have to work hard to accomplish true results. There are no shortcuts in life.