now, here's one about me....long, but good read.
we had a keg party at a campground a few miles from my house when i was still in high school. i was 17 and, well, i was dumb and didn't know how to pace myself with alcohol. i get completely shitfaced in a few hours, so bad i could barely walk. i found my way down a little embankment to the creek and pissed in the creek.
the next thing i remember, i'm splashing through water, and it's getting deeper, almost up to my knees. it felt like a very strange dream. the dream felt so real too, i could feel the big rocks in the water under my feet as i was sloshing through.
suddenly, i realized that there actually was water, it was almost to my knees, and it was COLD. i stopped and turned around, but couldn't open my eyes. i was trying to walk. i had 17 hole Doc Martins at the time, and they felt very very heavy, as they were full of water. the water felt like it was getting lower on my legs as i walked slowly foreward.
then i was on dry land. i still couldn't open my eyes. i stumbled foreward and up the embankment. i could hear laughter, hysterical laughter, the type of laughter where people are crying they're laughing so hard. i stumble to the top of the embankment and suddenly i'm able to begin opening my eyes again.
i kind of landed on my hands and knees when i reached the top of the embankment, and as i'm slowly standing up, i felt someone grab onto me and help me get to my feet. i was finally able to see around me at this point. everyone is telling me how "fucking hilarious that was." i wasn't sure where i was or what i was doing, and i was trying to figure out why i was soaked from the knees down.
oh, did i mention that it was the end of October and i live in PA? yeah, it was cold that night.
so then i got told the chain of events....
someone found me laying next to the creek asleep. they were going to do the normal "let's fuck with the guy sleeping" routine, but i guess one of my friends stopped them from engaging in this activity. so instead....
one of the guys at the party was a volunteer firefighter and had a PA speaker mounted in the grill of his car and also had a spotlight. they took the spotlight and were shining it directly in my face from about 10-15 feet away while one guy got on the PA and started saying, "Michael! this is the police! you are under arrest! we have called your dad and he's on his way! get up!"
apparently they repeated this a few times before i suddenly shot up like a bolt of lightning and took off running into the creek. the reason i couldn't see the entire time was because they kept the spotlight on my face until i was back up on the embankment.
my one buddy had drawn a picture of the event. he was a great artist, and unfortunately the picture is long since lost. it was a very accurate portrayal of me standing in the creek that night...stunned look on my face, my flannel shirt with leaves stuck to it, and my hair (which was very long) all over the place with leaves mixed in going everywhere.
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