Am I being an ass w/ my wife?

[nefertiti]

You guys are ridiculous. It isn't an issue of division of labor. It is the feeling that some men have that you are their SERVANT. He comes across in his post as thinking that because she is a woman it is her duty to be his ass wiper.

A good example is my father. He used to work full time and my stepmom did for a while but she retired much before he did. When he was single, he cleaned his house, did his dishes, etc. Now, both of them are retired, he leaves shit EVERYWHERE and expects her to follow behind him and pick up. He never throws a coke can in the garbage, never puts a dish in the washer, never does a load of laundry, etc. He will get out crackers and cheese, eat a few and then just walk off and leave them on the table. He can't even make a cup of coffee for himself. Seriously, if she doesn't cook for him, he doesn't eat until she does.

It is just a weird, old fashioned notion that some men have that we are their servants.

Disagree. he thinks because she sits on her ass all day that the least she can do is not nag him about dishes. And I agree with him.

 

[nefertiti]

Oh - and for the record I think if he said any of that verbatim to her, it's crappy and counter productive, but I still agree with the principle involved here.

 

[heatherrae]

Disagree. he thinks because she sits on her ass all day that the least she can do is not nag him about dishes. And I agree with him.

That is his version of events that she "sits on her ass all day."

I bet she has a much different version.

I can't tell you how many men I've heard saying that women sit on their asses all day when they are in reality caring for kids all day, running everyone's errands, etc.

Plus, regardless of what the division of labor is, you don't talk to your wife like she is your dog and is obligated to clean up after you. He can put a damn dish in the dishwasher no matter what his work schedule was. He just thinks he's superior to her, which was obvious by his tone.

 

[bigmann245]

That is great. Sounds like she had post partum depression.

I seriously hate housework. I would rather work 12 hours a day outside the home and hire someone else to do it.

shoot, you and me both

 

[redsamurai]

That is his version of events that she "sits on her ass all day."

I bet she has a much different version.

I can't tell you how many men I've heard saying that women sit on their asses all day when they are in reality caring for kids all day, running everyone's errands, etc.

Plus, regardless of what the division of labor is, you don't talk to your wife like she is your dog and is obligated to clean up after you. He can put a damn dish in the dishwasher no matter what his work schedule was. He just thinks he's superior to her, which was obvious by his tone.

I"m not so sure his tone was that "superior"........just frustrated. But we haven't heard if there's kids involved........have we? If so, he's kind of wrong. But if not............I kind of understand. Yeah putting a dish away is no big deal..........but listen to him, he's at his end physically.

 

[heatherrae]

I'll tell you, call me lazy if you want, but when I went to move in with my ex-bf I was very upfront that I was not going to be his nanny or his housekeeper.

I had a full time job which I gave up to go live there. However, I told him that if he expected me to become his ass wiper to just forget it. I would work outside the home because I prefer to do paperwork than to clean up freaking dog slobber, his kids messes, his skid marked underwear, etc.



Of course, he said he had a full time maid and didn't expect me to be his servant. Within a few months he fired the maid and was out drinking every night while I stayed home and watched his juvenile delinquent children...lol.

Men!

 

[redsamurai]

I got one last thing to say in this post....................the story that started this thread, whether the thread starter is right or wrong.......there's an underlying theme here. You hear it everywhere, here at elite too. People's lives are just SHIT!!! We get involved with people we shouldn't have because society pressures us to "mate"...........we work our asses off because that also is what's expected of us and we're promised all these great payoffs when we're old and gray..........and invariably we all fall into deep depression at some point or another. Bottom line is that no one is free.........we all work for someone or "something" else and have no time to work on ourselves unless we're fortunate to have been born into wealth. Am I the only one that see's this? Am I the only one who's cool on this country and our "great capitalist" system? I have no answers.....I'm not smart enough...........but I do perceive enough to realize that this is shit. Pure, utter unadulterated shit!!! And to think we actually "pay" taxes for the "privilege" to be nothing but worker ants. I have no problem with work...........an honest's day's work deserves an honest wage........how many of us get that? But there is more to life than work..........but we fool ourselves into continually wanting that which we don't need so we continue to work ourselves to the bone in order to support our hedonistic habits.

 

[needtogetaas]

this is some bull shit...if I work all day and my wife dos not work then guess what she is doing all the house work that I dont feel like doing...why because thats how it gos...is it far that I work all day and she dose nothing....hell fucking no and fuck any women on earth that would think she has any right at all to do that to me...I wont fucking stand for it pussy or no fucking pussy..I an your fucking working slave...

now with that being said I do the dishes all the time and I also cook and clean the house as well,and I work 40+ hours a week some times more.

when I get home there had better bin something productive don around the house...or a good reason why it was not don.thats how a family works you split up the work....

this guys wife dos at least work a few hours a week so he should do a few things around the house shit I work 40+ and I still do shit around the house....with 3 kids keeping this house clean is a bitch so I know I cant expect my wife to do it all on her own.just as long as she is doing something other then warming the couch well I am gon
thats all I ask.

 

[Creepusmaximus]

That is great. Sounds like she had post partum depression.

I seriously hate housework. I would rather work 12 hours a day outside the home and hire someone else to do it.

That's the problem I had with my wife. She work as a manager in a big hotel which means you can work 18 hours a day. I had to make the money to keep everything running but damn she had a job and worked as much as possible. When my son was 3 I wanted to bring him to an easter egg hunt. I did with a 18 month in tow by myself. Wife worked 9 days straight over easter 100+ hours. By god she had a job and did not give a shit about anything else. She was salary so it wasn't like she made more money. For that matter she never made good money. Simply, by god I have a job and f' everything else and if anyone has a problem with that I'm being abused. That was the final straw, ladys from the hood started helping me out and thought my wife should be gotten rid of. They let her know what they thought.

 

[bigmann245]

I'll tell you, call me lazy if you want, but when I went to move in with my ex-bf I was very upfront that I was not going to be his nanny or his housekeeper.

I had a full time job which I gave up to go live there. However, I told him that if he expected me to become his ass wiper to just forget it. I would work outside the home because I prefer to do paperwork than to clean up freaking dog slobber, his kids messes, his skid marked underwear, etc.



Of course, he said he had a full time maid and didn't expect me to be his servant. Within a few months he fired the maid and was out drinking every night while I stayed home and watched his juvenile delinquent children...lol.

Men!

you know, i still admire your strength to move on. your a strong person. its sad when bad things happen to good people.