Your quick to critise arent you buddy! Without asking my starting weight or what my past crappy cycles happen to be, or mistakes i made with pct or diet and have i learnt from them??
I dont have to explain myself to you or anyone for that matter. I havent got bigorexia i want to look good not abnormaly big so people point at me when i walk down the street and say to there buddy "hey look at that roid muncher hahaha"
Didnt you listen to your parents when they told you if you havent got anything nice to say dont say anything at all
You're the one asking for advice. I'm just trying to help you save some money and take less risks with your health and illegal substances. Seriously, you could do what you've been doing easily without steroids.
As for your starting weight, I assume it was less than 190 when you did your first cycle? Even at 190, I'd still tell you that you can gain even more naturally (barring some sort of disease that would otherwise prevent it). Mistakes with diet? Well, yeah, that's what I'm betting on. I said I'd be curious to see your diet and training.
If you don't want to look like you're on steroids and don't want people to think you're on steroids...why are you taking them? Your girl already thinks you're too big at 190!
Don't worry about it brah. Take your steroids and get back up to 205, then cut back to 190. Wash, rinse, repeat.