What would your internet dating ad say?

[Bikini Mod]

"I film myself wanking wearing female underwear, including bra, panties or nylons. I masturbate with dildos deeply inserted in my butts."

wtf "butts"

I have read way too many ads like that too...

 

[the_clockwork]

this guy has multiple anuses.. you girls should be interested in this!

 

[Bikini Mod]

this guy has multiple anuses.. you girls should be interested in this!

I once *knew* a man who had two separate openings in his penis... not kidding. The guy could cum like freaky mad...

 

[heatherrae]

Mine would say:

I'm fat and pregnant, but my mom used to think I had a pretty face. Please take me to dinner. Money is tight from buying baby clothes and stuff, and I am sick of eating canned soup. I'm a good cook. Please bring groceries and I will show you.




That would reel em in by the dozen.

 

[heatherrae]

I once *knew* a man who had two separate openings in his penis... not kidding. The guy could cum like freaky mad...

YUCK.

 

[Sub-Zero]

wut wut yall nukkas, how it goin, this subzm, im lookin for a nice girl to be my summer girlfriend, maybe with a nice lesbo friend us 3 can cuddle all night and fuck too. im 5'7, 205 lbs, i love lifting weights. im looking for a relationship or a fling. the hardest part about meeting women for me, is i havnt quite seemed how to move from talking to having sex. i must be missing a step. my dick bends to the left a little, and is a little small, but other than that i can bust like 47 nuts a day

 

[heatherrae]

wut wut yall nukkas, how it goin, this subzm, im lookin for a nice girl to be my summer girlfriend, maybe with a nice lesbo friend us 3 can cuddle all night and fuck too. im 5'7, 205 lbs, i love lifting weights. im looking for a relationship or a fling. the hardest part about meeting women for me, is i havnt quite seemed how to move from talking to having sex. i must be missing a step. my dick bends to the left a little, and is a little small, but other than that i can bust like 47 nuts a day

LOL @ your left bender.

 

[Sub-Zero]

LOL @ your left bender.

show me yours ill show you mine?

 

[Bikini Mod]

YUCK.

No you wouldn't know it by looking. He said he didn't realize himself until he was like 30 or something, if I remember correctly. He could keep cumming and cumming without ever losing his erection. I timed it once (course I didn't tell him). He came 7 times in 20 some odd minutes, so it was like once every three minutes.

 

[heatherrae]

show me yours ill show you mine?

I can't reach mine.