What should I ask the doc to prescribe me?

[Nathan]

nathan, why don't you just try to find reallypositive outlets for all that tension and energy? More drugs sounds like more problems to me.

Nobody gets this. It's cool, thanks for everyone's insight - I appreciate it and I'm sure I just sound like an ass. I mentioned to my mom and her friend (who is also bi-polar) about what the doctor told me to do and they both laughed their asses off and couldn't believe he thought I'd actually do it. I still can't believe I even considered it. You just don't terminate a manic phase. It doesn't make sense to anyone who gets them - because they know the alternative.

I guess the bottom line is this: I'll do anything to never again feel like I did from ages 12-20 or so. I'd rather shoot up heroin from today until it kills me in a couple years. I'd trade in a lifetime of being miserable for two years of feeling good in a second. So when people say try no drugs, I get very freaked out. That is the one thing that did absolutely NOT work for me in the past. Never worked for my mom either. Or her sisters. Or my cousins.

 

[Nathan]

OK Nathan I obviously don't know you but it seems like you have this "no one understands me" mentality. That in itself could be a problem. I doubt you have some mysterious problem that has never been seen before in the history of mankind. And therefore, since it probably has been encoutnered before, your "doctor" will be able to diagnose it and treat it. That's what psychs do. The idea that you know what's best for you is laughable because if you did...you obviously wouldn't be in the situation you're in right now. Again, a highly qualified psychiatrist who has experience dealing with your problem will help you much more than you self-diagnosing and taking narcotics to temporarily dull your pain. You're completely unqualified to be doing that...just because it's your brain, doesnt mean you know whats going on inside of it.

I don't have my masters yet so I'm obviously not qualified to give you a diagnosis (no shit, this is EF.com after all), but you could have any of hte following:

Borderline Personality Disorder (dangerous and self-damaging impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, CHRONIC FEELINGS OF EMPTINESS, and dissociation)

or

Narcisistic Personality Disorder: (feeling of self importance, believing that you are special and that no one can help you, fantasies of power, strong sense of entitlement, lacks empathy)

or something else you and i have never heard of. anyways, youre probably going to ignore this post but I had a blast writing it so what can i say besides i hope u get better soon

lmao, dude I am telling you don't understadn for a reason. If we're both convinced we're right we won't get anywhere/ I was diagnosed last week by a trained psychiatrist. For the fifth or sixth fucking time in my life. Same diagnosis every time.

Note how the people I am telling don't get it are the people telling me to back away from drugs. Just because you see marijuana as a rec drug does not mean I do - I've spoken to my doc about having it prescribed but it only comes in pill form for my purposes......


Fuck it. You're right. I'm in a mood and no one will get through right now. As for the no drug shit though, the doctor told me that wasn't an option. I wanted to do behavioral modification or something for the mood stuff like I did for my OCD but it doesn't work. They said get used to meds - which is where problems come in since I have had very bad reactions to things I've been prescribed in the past. But no drugs is even worse.

Did any of that makes sense. All I asked was for some examples of some drugs with short half-lives that make you drowsy/sedate you. And everyone told me not to use drugs., which frustrated me since that would be AMAZING. I tried it. I spent quite a few really unhappy years as a result.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

I have stories I could tell as well, don't you worry. If you want to compare who's made the worst calls sometime, I'd be happy to.

And I'm pretty sure abandoment has nothing to do with it - I had great parents. The problem is that they passed on a few genetic mood disorders - I got bi-polar disorder from my mom's side and OCD/anxiety from my dad's. You and I are very different cases from the sounds of things. I've been seeing doctors about this shit since I was like 13-14.

And my addicition is not to painkillers - it is to marijuana. I am getting help is the whole point, for the billionth time. I guess my issue is that I think I'm smarter than doctors and no longer trust them - when it comes to mood stuff, they SUCK. Like, they have no idea what they are doing almost. In fact, I feel more qualified than a lot of them at this point. I explained to my psychiatrist what I went through as a kid and frankly, it looked like she FINALLY understood it after like 30 years of schooling. Wtf?

I got through my OCD on my own more or less - I had to figure it all out for myself. No one told me it was cropping up at stressful periods in my life and that it was my brain's way of diverting my attention via millions of obsessions and compulsions from whatever was REALLY bothering me. Instead I was thrown on like 6 different types of meds over the years, some of which made me insane and violent. You ever had delusions of grandeur? It's kind of scary.

I was gonna say you sounded like you were bi-polar. Probably have trouble finishing things too? That sucks to have to be dependant on drugs to make you happy, but I can't judge. I drink and used to smoke a lot. I've battled depression this last year with my divorce, but still find a way to be happy with myself and my place in life.

I know that must be tough for you though.

I say smoke up a few times a week and then take a break for a few days. It will intensify the high for you and give you something to look forward to, while being good the rest of the week. Kinda like a reward. You know working for the weekend sorta.

 

[Nathan]

I was gonna say you sounded like you were bi-polar. Probably have trouble finishing things too? That sucks to have to be dependant on drugs to make you happy, but I can't judge. I drink and used to smoke a lot. I've battled depression this last year with my divorce, but still find a way to be happy with myself and my place in life.

I know that must be tough for you though.

Thanks dude. And yeah, that's about it. It's not my life or some stimulus causing the problem, it's my brain. It doesn't work like most of the rest of the population's or so I am told.

I do have trouble finishing things, especially while manic. On the other hand, things like dating are like gravy in this state. Fuck, right now though that's the major problem - getting anything the fuck done.

Sorry about the divorce dude - but glad you are content. That's what counts.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Thanks dude. And yeah, that's about it. It's not my life or some stimulus causing the problem, it's my brain. It doesn't work like most of the rest of the population's or so I am told.

I do have trouble finishing things, especially while manic. On the other hand, things like dating are like gravy in this state. Fuck, right now though that's the major problem - getting anything the fuck done.

Sorry about the divorce dude - but glad you are content. That's what counts.

Edited my post with a good idea on smoking. My make it a bit better for you.

 

[abolish the weak]

just do what most people do and go rent a fucking movie or something if your bored.

 

[heatherrae]

Nobody gets this. It's cool, thanks for everyone's insight - I appreciate it and I'm sure I just sound like an ass. I mentioned to my mom and her friend (who is also bi-polar) about what the doctor told me to do and they both laughed their asses off and couldn't believe he thought I'd actually do it. I still can't believe I even considered it. You just don't terminate a manic phase. It doesn't make sense to anyone who gets them - because they know the alternative.

I guess the bottom line is this: I'll do anything to never again feel like I did from ages 12-20 or so. I'd rather shoot up heroin from today until it kills me in a couple years. I'd trade in a lifetime of being miserable for two years of feeling good in a second. So when people say try no drugs, I get very freaked out. That is the one thing that did absolutely NOT work for me in the past. Never worked for my mom either. Or her sisters. Or my cousins.

Well, you were complaining of boredom. Now you are elaborating that it is a manic phase, which isn't really the same as boredom. Mania is pretty common, I think. Surely your doctor could figure out some things to try for the mania if your pot fixes aren't cutting it anymore.

The marijuana pill idea doesn't sound all that bad to me. At least it won't wreck your lungs.

I don't know. I hope you get better, is all.

 

[CrazyRussian]

lmao, dude I am telling you don't understadn for a reason. If we're both convinced we're right we won't get anywhere/ I was diagnosed last week by a trained psychiatrist. For the fifth or sixth fucking time in my life. Same diagnosis every time.

Note how the people I am telling don't get it are the people telling me to back away from drugs. Just because you see marijuana as a rec drug does not mean I do - I've spoken to my doc about having it prescribed but it only comes in pill form for my purposes......


Fuck it. You're right. I'm in a mood and no one will get through right now. As for the no drug shit though, the doctor told me that wasn't an option. I wanted to do behavioral modification or something for the mood stuff like I did for my OCD but it doesn't work. They said get used to meds - which is where problems come in since I have had very bad reactions to things I've been prescribed in the past. But no drugs is even worse.

Did any of that makes sense. All I asked was for some examples of some drugs with short half-lives that make you drowsy/sedate you. And everyone told me not to use drugs., which frustrated me since that would be AMAZING. I tried it. I spent quite a few really unhappy years as a result.

Understood. I can understand your POV, I just have a hard time in general acceptign the fact that doctors can't help you. Is your condition really impossible to treat effectively? You said that you got the same diagnosis every time, and that behavior modification wouldn't work for it..but u never mentioned the exact diagnosis. w/e i guess thats not important

Have you tried Ambien? Half life is only a few hours. And I also used to toke quite a bit but you havta consider the depressing effects MJ has after you smoke it...made me hella depressed for days afterwards, still does actually. Anyways I sympathize with you because my mom has had a fucked up nerve in her back thats been keeping her from walking for years...shes been to so many doctors, taken so many drugs...and nothing helps her. once again I hope u get better

 

[heavy_duty]

Thread of the week.

 

[macemj]

Look bro,

I've taken it all. Mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, mixture of all, and WEED to try and feel FINE and FIX what "they" said to be ADD, Bi-polar, or anxiousness. Well, let me explain something to you. Boredum, manic, anxiety, and all other feelings that make you feel out of place or just plain not good can be handled easier than I thought or YOU think.

First, look at the man in the mirror. If your not happy with him, don't read the following because thats where it all starts. Every one has different DNA, thinking, emotions, action-reactions, ect., but, thats what makes the world GO ROUND. Every one has positive and negative traits, but, thats why we have friends who we are fond of (different things we respect and observe).

Secondly, after you realize all you have is YOURSELF, and all you can do is root for the guy in the mirror, you can finally move forward in a positive fashion.

To become HAPPY and feel fulfilled in terms of production(lack of boredum) you must:

Get an everyday positive routine. Find other hobbies to keep busy, ones which, you find thoroughly entertaining or passionate about (like masterbating with both hands while playing pickup sticks with your feet). Something. Next, make a task list/goal list, shorterm and long term. COMPLETE THEM! Also, find some one or something inspiring and become obsessed with it/them. Take time to learn from others and study successful people. I bet you find such a person very even keal and content.

Next, come to the realization of exactly what your brain is actually lacking. Is it focus? Anxious or depression? Only YOU know this. Find the remedy. For me, I was anxious. I always had a very fast mind and had million things raceing upstairs. So, with an XR wellbutrin and 1/4 xanax in the morning and 1/4 in the afternoon, I became extremely focused and chill at the same time. BINGO. Frankly, I had a HUGE increase in my sociabillity, creativeness, and just all around self collectiveness in day to day operations.

Final thought:

"The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving"

ask yourself "which is the most universal characteristic, FEAR or LAZINESS?"

These are quotes from a movie called WAKING LIFE. A movie you should consider rolling up a fatty or filling up the bong and sit down and watch. All about the different aspects of life (people, thoughts, politics, art, dreaming, and just plain old brilliant thinking.

Just my 2 cents
Good luck Cuz!