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Well court was yesterday
- Thread starter chesty
- Start date
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Bottom line is this - it's luck of the draw TOTALLY dependent on the veracity of the judge.
From the bit that you've posted here (my opinion - which is like everybody else's asshole) I don't see that the judge will allow her to move the children until AFTER a trial. I am thinking that just because school is starting (which is why I am guessing she filed an *emergent application*) that doesnt mean that the kids should be moved for her to finalize her marital situation. I mean, is she married yet? Then how can she justify the move?
As for her true intentions and her fitness as a mother that is between her and God and her children - nothing you can say will change that unless there is proof positive of serious issues (like Jh1's fucking slimebag waste of a human being soon2Bx). Is she putting what she wants ahead of what might be best for the kids? On the surface, at least, it does seem that way but that doesn't necessarily deem her unfit. It only means that she may not be able to move her children about the way SHE wants.
If the two of you have been successfully sharing the kids 50/50 and the kids dont WANT to live with her MOST of the time then there isn't much that she will be able to do about it.
And not to hurt you, but kids will tell one parent one thing (about who they want to live with) and the other parent something different. I saw that with my own kids. Some of them were swayed when their father offered them LOTS of material stuff that I couldnt at the time, some were not. I read the reports and they themselves admitted to having been swayed. I never EVER faulted them or made them feel badly about it. They are just kids. Two were swayed and two were not. My third cried to me, "Mami why did the adults let the children make a decision anyway? We didn't know what was good for us."
No matter what, the kids are getting fucked up. I am NOT saying that you were not backed into a corner by your ex's actions. You did what you had to do by fighting to protect your right to continue to be a father who is taking an active role in parenting his children which means, by default, that your ex is not necessarily putting what is best for her kids first (putting them in the middle instead of trying to work things out like adults). But that doesn't necessarily mean that she is unfit or that you are better suited to be sole custodial parent. <---- not a jab, Chesty... just calling it like it is.
Either way, I hope that for the sake of the children this matter will be resolved quickly. No kid LIKES to see their parents at odds with one another. Matter of fact, it eats them up alive.
My 3 younger children are only waiting for the day that they will NEVER have to deal with their father or his family again for how they constantly berated me and abused them. My oldest sadly I have all but written off as a trainwreck. Her father (and his family) have damaged her beyond hope, I fear. But if she ever comes back to me, my husband and I will do everything in our power to help her regain her sense of humanity.
I hope you have a wise and fair judge who will find a way to MAKE the parents in this case behave like rational adults. Again, not a slight on you Chesty, just recognizing that for every action there is an equal reaction. If she attacks, then you must defend and when someone is put on the defensive, the fear of losing their children put in their hearts, rational isnt exactly the first course of action. Of anyone on this site, I (sadly) feel that I am qualified to make that statement.
From the bit that you've posted here (my opinion - which is like everybody else's asshole) I don't see that the judge will allow her to move the children until AFTER a trial. I am thinking that just because school is starting (which is why I am guessing she filed an *emergent application*) that doesnt mean that the kids should be moved for her to finalize her marital situation. I mean, is she married yet? Then how can she justify the move?
As for her true intentions and her fitness as a mother that is between her and God and her children - nothing you can say will change that unless there is proof positive of serious issues (like Jh1's fucking slimebag waste of a human being soon2Bx). Is she putting what she wants ahead of what might be best for the kids? On the surface, at least, it does seem that way but that doesn't necessarily deem her unfit. It only means that she may not be able to move her children about the way SHE wants.
If the two of you have been successfully sharing the kids 50/50 and the kids dont WANT to live with her MOST of the time then there isn't much that she will be able to do about it.
And not to hurt you, but kids will tell one parent one thing (about who they want to live with) and the other parent something different. I saw that with my own kids. Some of them were swayed when their father offered them LOTS of material stuff that I couldnt at the time, some were not. I read the reports and they themselves admitted to having been swayed. I never EVER faulted them or made them feel badly about it. They are just kids. Two were swayed and two were not. My third cried to me, "Mami why did the adults let the children make a decision anyway? We didn't know what was good for us."
No matter what, the kids are getting fucked up. I am NOT saying that you were not backed into a corner by your ex's actions. You did what you had to do by fighting to protect your right to continue to be a father who is taking an active role in parenting his children which means, by default, that your ex is not necessarily putting what is best for her kids first (putting them in the middle instead of trying to work things out like adults). But that doesn't necessarily mean that she is unfit or that you are better suited to be sole custodial parent. <---- not a jab, Chesty... just calling it like it is.
Either way, I hope that for the sake of the children this matter will be resolved quickly. No kid LIKES to see their parents at odds with one another. Matter of fact, it eats them up alive.
My 3 younger children are only waiting for the day that they will NEVER have to deal with their father or his family again for how they constantly berated me and abused them. My oldest sadly I have all but written off as a trainwreck. Her father (and his family) have damaged her beyond hope, I fear. But if she ever comes back to me, my husband and I will do everything in our power to help her regain her sense of humanity.
I hope you have a wise and fair judge who will find a way to MAKE the parents in this case behave like rational adults. Again, not a slight on you Chesty, just recognizing that for every action there is an equal reaction. If she attacks, then you must defend and when someone is put on the defensive, the fear of losing their children put in their hearts, rational isnt exactly the first course of action. Of anyone on this site, I (sadly) feel that I am qualified to make that statement.
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