Dear MindGame,
My friend, you do not need to end your life to achieve inner peace. By saying you want to end your life, you are basically showing your selfish side, which will never get you anywhere in life nor in bodybuilding.
Let me tell you a little story about a boy, let's call him Mr.X jr. Well, this little boy was 300lb at 5'4 at the age of 11, and every day when this little boy looked in the mirror, he cried. He cried his little eyes off, and every time he sat there at the dinner table, in the dimly lighted room with steak, potatoes and gravy mixed with mayo on his silver shiny platter, he thought of ending his life. But, one day, one magical day, he was shown the way, the way into bodybuilding. He worked hard, ate right, and didn't listen to any hype that his parents gave him about how bad "eating protein" is for you.
Then one day, this little boy began to use anabolics, he got big. This little boy got to be an average bodybuilder, and he decided to compete. He placed high in the bodybuilding teen shows, yet he had something missing inside. The thing that was missing was inner peace, which can only be achieved with time. So, in turn, this little boy grew up and evolved into a Man, a man that now knows that selfishness is ONLY for the WEAK; thus, selfishness will never compel the body into inner peace, it will only close off the road into true life.
If you came away with nothing from what I just said, then please remember one thing: Life goes on, no matter how much your dad "bitches" or "get's on your case". Try to educate him, and if you can't then find ways around it. Never, and I mean it when I say NEVER, commit suicide or "PIG OUT", it is not a way out. It is only a way to reach pitty and self distortion.
Mr.X