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So my parents flew in on Tuesday cause they have a med school reunion thing in the OC. The week was exhausting trying to adjust to old rhythms, as well as grad responsibliities. Due to a PHD dude not cutting the job, they gave me the chance to finish up TAing a grad class. I'm stoked, cause I would love to teach her someday. I was also stressed early in the week cause a valued friend and I kinda lost some ground, hopefully someday that can be repaired. Finally, GF was braggin all week how she was gonna see Blonde Redhead in concert and had an invitation to the back stage party. I was kinda tweekin a little, cause I don't want some music industry dude, using every kinda 'magic' he's got in order to into those panties. Yeah, that is my shit now, ya know. J/k. So yeah had an enduring week, but after reflecting last night, there is alot to take from this and build on.
I get cornered in this small kitchen every time I get something to eat. I had to store snacks in my room so, I would not get ambused by my folks and their need to rant to me.
So imagine this high tension, penetrating voice, amped up with so much intenstiy and aggression when she's annoyed you would like sever a finger just to get her to stop.
Patients love, her but fear her, still they have no clue the intensity this woman brings. Imagine this intense, asian lady, whose personality reminds me of Al Pacino when he is pissed. So expressive, loud, and laughs at own one liners as she talks shit. So she calls me every other day and I have to hear how Obama is the anti christ, people she got to bully for the day, patients she helped, that sort of thing. I love my mom, but damn, can't live with her ya know? So I'm real wary of like leaving my room, cause I don't wanna get ambused and have to listen to her rant. She is addicted to talking shit, she rags on my dad who embodies what being a man to me, flawlessly. Dude just abides with her moods, and allows her to do her thing. She rags on him for being vain, too laidback, and the lack of sex in their life. She actually complains to me, how he can't last... Yeah I know, its fucked up. My dad is so sociable, open, laid back, and yet gets so much shit done. He works 50-60 hours in the ER, could care less I smoke out, and just fucking solid. Peeps often confuse them for newlyweds, cause of how they interact, the main thing I always get though from them, other than how wise they are, is that the best relationships are built on lock and key, type complementary needs, not identical. I see that pattern manifesting in strong relationships now, just much clearer.
-sorry no pic of valued friend- Wanna post a couple of em, but not really.-
I had a hidden jay in my textbooks, old habits die hard, lol. Anyway, this was Saturday night, and no plans. I had finished my project so, at 9 here it was time to chill. The thing is as I was listening to Blonde Redhead, Hated Cause of Great Qualities, song is bout some girl who is so confused cause some close friend dropped all this shit of like how he is attracted to her, and he told her bout it. Well, she flips out and can't handle it, the only thing she strongly expresses is her disdain for the dude and confusion. One of the lines;
These are different matters
These are uncertain feelings
They should never be discussed here
So keep it to yourself
I also thought of how high my expectations are with some peeps, like to get over the past shit, and embrace uncertainty. That is a lot of shit to process. Still one should never create anything based solely on outcome. In any expression, you got a hold to the process and not the outcome. Anyway, yeah she taught me alot of things, but I just valued her, ya know. Bottom line, she's valued, and yeah....
So the whole week, Ana has been braggin that she' s gonna party with Blonde Redhead backstage. We have damn near similar musical tastes, so yeah Im happy for her, but don't want some dude bending my girl over ya know? She keeps goin on bout how fucked up she's gonna get due to stress and get wild. Dude, what the fuck, are we Thelma and Lousie, I mean, who the fuck do you think you are talking too. We both know she does this on purpose. Fine, it wouldn't be any fun if she didn't. Finally, Saturday night rolls around and I sense deep down she wont' do anything too stupid. I jokingly told her to call me every 20 minutes for a status report. She does call like at 1am her time and tells me that she is tripping on acid and backstage partying. She's telling me how beautiful things are, and how fucked up she is. Dude, I"m still high, so I can't like process everything she is saying. However, she then hangs up on me in the middle of her convo. I'm not peeved, no biggie. She calls back in 45 minutes to tell me that she just wants to be friends, and that its not fair to hold a girl back from having fun. Yeah, dude, I'm like WTF, I so did not see this coming... I'm just bout to hang up. I'm fucking like gonzo mad. Not quite to the highest level, cause I'm kinda in shock. After like 30 seconds of silence and just listening to her ask if I'm there. She then drops on me, no Im just kidding, and I think you rawk, and yeah then affectionate talk. Like I was kinda mad, but more relieved, than anything else.
What I learned from her, was just kinda mystified by her timing, I mean that was the perfect move to kinda knock some sense in to me that yeah I am attracted and value her alot. What killls me though, is how subconsciously she just she had the perfect timing to pull that kinda shit.
So cliffnotes...
1. Parents= Complementary talents make for the best relationships.
2. Valued Friend= Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
3. GF= Chics on Acid can be mean. lol
