need advice on child custody

[binö]

unfortunatly i have become somewhat invovled in this...GF has a real dickhead ex, dude is a angry controlling ex-pig who wants to call the shots with his ex even though they are divorced.
and she is so passive she let's him abuse her and force his will on her.
well, they did informal custody but now it's going to be offical and thru the courts...dickfuk is insisting on having the 51% and seems to think he is entitled to it since he is the primary provider (the kid is split equally amongst the two houses, but the loser doesn't have a job and can spend more time with the son, whereas she has a full time job and isn't afforded that luxury).
he is threatening to fight the manner if she doesn't capitulate, and she is willing to allow this so it doesn't fuk the kid up going thru a lengthy court battle...plus she doesn't have the funds to pay for a represenative attorney...he has money from a settlement to afford good lawyers.
is it really that big of a deal having 49%? the way he is making it seem, he will be able to dictate what she does with the kid and where he goes...she will have to inform him everytime she takes him ouf of town or out of state, whereas he has free reign to go wherever he pleases.
i foresee a decade of trouble for my poor GF, allowing her ex to still control her sound decisions because that is his nature...I'm trying to be chill about it, but it is starting to effect me, watching her willling get run over.
is 49% that big of a deal?

 

[redshirt27se]

sounds like 49/51 is a lot more than 50/50

 

[wootoom]

Ok, whoever is the primary parent gets child support. My ex is the primary parent. I have to pay child support.

 

[EarthRider]

yeah, he wants her to pay child support so that he can continue to not work and be a lazy ass

 

[wootoom]

I support my kids, in my agreement i pay child support based on my income every year. If she is fully divorced there should be rules in place for child support on who is the primary parent of the child. Be careful getting involved...thats all i have to say..it will make things harder man, tell her to talk to her lawyer.

 

[AFeedz]

I was kind of in the same situation in the last year, a girl was pretty much trying to fuck the guy I was seeing over with all the child custody stuff. Anyways, we can't give you real answers because child custody is dealt with differently in every state and every situation. But what happened with my ex was that the percentage of time spent with each parent determined nothing besides a. Obviously the days the parent got to see the child and b. How much money was owed and to whom.

Who spent the majority of the time with the child did not determine someone as being in charge i.e. deciding what the other parent does or where the other parent goes with the child. Parenting agreements these days should include all of that, and (unless something makes the parent unfit - criminal, drug addict) both parents may do what they want with the child.

In the guy I was seeing's case, babymama wanted the court to order that their timeshare plan include that every time he wanted to take the child a certain distance away (out of the county or state, I forget) he had to let her know, not for permission though, just so that she was aware. What she didn't realize though, is that the rules in there applied to both parents and she's now required to inform him any tile she takes their daughter particularly far also.

Anyways point is, time awarded is only that - time (and money). It doesn't have to mean one parent is more of a parent, or gets to make major decisions without the other or control how they spend their time.

 

[smurf2]

How old is the child? having a full time job should not preclude her from getting more than 49% custody. that's ludicrous. I have always had a full time job and my ex pretty much always has worked very sporadically and guess who got SOLE custody? yes, me. But, I had an atty and he did not. Without legal representation, she might wind up with 49% custody or whatever he and his lawyer are proposing in their parenting agreement presented to the court. Also, if she wants to represent herself in any way shape or form, she'd better go the court ahead of time and file (pay fees) to say she's representing herself (i forget the legal term for that). Because when my obnoxious ex showed up in court with only himself and his good for nothing alcoholic father, they were not allowed to even address the court/judge and when they tried to speak, they were thrown out of the court room. Epic fail.

So, she really should have a lawyer.

 

[cindylou]

PM coming shortly bino

 

[smurf2]

one more thing I forgot to mention. you say she works full time? well through her employer she should have whats called EAP/Work Life benefits and its very common for a free 30 min legal consultation to be included in that benefit. So, she could call up and be connected to an atty who would give her free advice for a 30 min consultation. Then, if she decided to retain someone from that law firm, there would be a discount (typically 25%). So, she should look into what benefits are offered by her employer. Just saying.

 

[wootoom]

Pm me Bino also, if you need anything...I've been going through this for 3 years I'm an expert on this junk lol...I'm here to help.

Make sure she has a lawyer which I'm sure she does already