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all the whey
New member
javaguru said:It all starts with a hug bro...then a kiss......next thing you know it's rubbing muff.
No I have to disagree.
From my experience it starts with a couple wine coolers.
Men. any idea?
- Thread starter myway
- Start date
No I have to disagree.
From my experience it starts with a couple wine coolers.
myway
Banned
My husband says that I should just trust him...even if it doesn't make sense. It would be easier if he could provide me with a logical explaination to trust inbut he doesn't. He just says he doesn't know where they came from. Maybe he is trying to see what kind of wife I will be with this stuff. If he gets away with it...then he always will.
myway
Banned
I'm getting really tired(took my insomnia meds with some wine) but don't want to sleep in our bed. I think I'm gonna sleep in the baby's room until I decide what to do. I have a couple of options.If I stay here for 2 more weeks, I will be back at work and have money to move. If I go to my parent's house(as they requested) money wouldn't be an issue but I sometimes have problems with my mom.
I could go stay at my friends house but would feel bad because she is just starting over after a big, ugly divorce.
As long as I don't believe/trust my husband... it would be wrong for me to stay here with him providing for me. He said he would leave if I wanted him to go to his' parents house. I don't know how any of this would solve anything. We should try to work this out in a way that keeps us from hating each other. We have a little boy to raise. I just want to do what's best for my son. I still don't know the right answer.
I could go stay at my friends house but would feel bad because she is just starting over after a big, ugly divorce.
As long as I don't believe/trust my husband... it would be wrong for me to stay here with him providing for me. He said he would leave if I wanted him to go to his' parents house. I don't know how any of this would solve anything. We should try to work this out in a way that keeps us from hating each other. We have a little boy to raise. I just want to do what's best for my son. I still don't know the right answer.
Longhorn85
New member
myway said:
Except that he insists that he doesn't know where they came from, right?
If you assume the worst, that means he either brought some girl into the house for sex, or somehow brought her drawers home with him. Why don't you ask him directly, "do those belong to some girl that you brought to our house when I wasn't home?"
If you assume the best, he has no idea where they came from, as he is telling you.
Wow - if your thinking about all this stuff then you have some trust issues. Warranted or not - that's not good.myway said:
I brought this up earlier - I don't know if you saw the post - have you been shopping for clothes recently. Could the panties have been mashed up in the leg (etc.) of new clothes you were washing?
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lartinos
Guest
maybe ur friend melissa is fucking ur man?
Bikini Mod
New member
all the whey said:
Good God... Why would I WANT to do that?
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
You obviously don't trust him regardless if he is guilty or not so why the hell are you even with him?
You're relationship/marriage/whateveritis is doomed no matter the outcome of this panty episode.
You're relationship/marriage/whateveritis is doomed no matter the outcome of this panty episode.
Another thing: Reguardless of the fact if he cheated or didnt cheat....he still acts as if she is the crazy one / or the one overreacting when he should at least be more understanding as to why she is upset. I think anyone would be upset if they found this in the laundry...and he acts as if she is the crazy one. In my opinion that is the number one sign of deception of some sort. Make everyone else feel crazy and overreacting when they call them on their shit. Its called manipulation.
sooo... myway... does he get to film himself live when the Indep PD come by to bust you two for domestic violence and put it on COPS?
Bino,
I know you think his nonchalance is a point in his favor...I see it as the opposite. As cindy said, it's a tool of manipulation. He has a history of lying to her about contact with women, and one of the consequences of that is that in the future the burden of proof is on him, not her. In his shoes, were I innocent, I would have moved heaven and earth to prove my innocence. Not gone to bed at 8 and said, "you should just trust me." If I were innocent, I would have been sick to my stomach at the thought of my spouse sitting up all night trying to "just trust me."
No, I would have been right there with her, staying up all night trying to come up with answers.
I know you think his nonchalance is a point in his favor...I see it as the opposite. As cindy said, it's a tool of manipulation. He has a history of lying to her about contact with women, and one of the consequences of that is that in the future the burden of proof is on him, not her. In his shoes, were I innocent, I would have moved heaven and earth to prove my innocence. Not gone to bed at 8 and said, "you should just trust me." If I were innocent, I would have been sick to my stomach at the thought of my spouse sitting up all night trying to "just trust me."
No, I would have been right there with her, staying up all night trying to come up with answers.
Longhorn85
New member
nefertiti said:
On the other hand, his coolness could be construed as a good sign. Maybe he genuinely sees no need for concern and has moved on already.
nefertiti said:
there is nothing obivious about this mess, except your impartial vision.
one could make the claim that she:
-has a history of buggin out and destroying things
-drinks and get's emotional
-needs constant reafirmation of her greatness/sexyness
adding these together leaves me with the impression that nothing here is obvious and that convicting a man, her husband, over a pair of panties that he claims he knows nothing about is premature, reactionary, and unjustified.
but, it's "obvious" to me that you and most others on here don't want to hear the possible other side to the story, cause then things might not be so "obvious."
please excuse yourself from all jury trials,
your's in sport,
bino
Bino said:
Bino...that was a typo - I was writing fast and didn't realize till a few minutes later that I wrote "obvious" where I had intended to write "opposite"...I switched it before your post here, as you can see in the part you quoted. I agree there's nothing obvious about it. All the points you made, I have already considered...I was just offering you another side. With that in mind, care to respond again?
i would need to hear the man's deposition before responding any farther.nefertiti said:
so far we are only hearing one side of the story, and of course it's gonna be slanted, that's what happens when you tell a story such as this.
and nice save on removing obvious
Longhorn85 said:
Maybe so, but if that's the case they still have MAJOR marital issues. He may see no cause for concern himself, but if he's seeing that she is still concerned (to say the least) and simply brushing it off and going to bed, they have a HUGE disconnect, there. (and before I get jumped on, it's a disconnect I am not blaming on either party....we've ALL seen how myway can get). If I found myself simply brushing off that my s/o was emotional over something - whether it be because of something on my end, or behavior patterns from them (ie: always over reacting), I'd wonder what I was still doing in the relationship.
One way or another this seems pretty damaged beyond repair.
Bino said:i would need to hear the man's deposition before responding any farther.
so far we are only hearing one side of the story, and of course it's gonna be slanted, that's what happens when you tell a story such as this.
and nice save on removing obvious
It really was a typing mistake..."exactly the obvious" doesn't even make sense lol.
Longhorn85
New member
nefertiti said:
Time for some counseling, perhaps? Still salvageable hopefully.
nefertiti said:
I agree, and also, I've also found that people mixed up with the manipulative type people end up GOING crazy becuase they have a gut feeling about something and cant prove it. That could explain myway's suspicous behavior and such anger (destroying computer) is because basically this relationship is driving her crazy.
I dont know if you guys remember the thread about my sis doing this exact thing to her husband? This is the exact same thing, only no panties. Her husband is literally losing his mind and outsiders who dont know them think he is possesive, jealous, overreacts, drinks too much etc etc.
all the whey
New member
galaxy said:
Maybe he picked her up at the laundry?
A lot of slutty single moms there.
Roll in there with a roll of quarters and they think you are a movie star.
It also helps to throw some at the kids so they can play video games while you work it.
Your own parents don't sell you down the river to your spouse, especially not with a new grandchild in the picture, not unless they think you're being a dog.
Trust me on this, you may believe that you have your parents totally bullshitted, but they usually know what your true character is. They may not know exactly what you're doing, but they know what you're capable of doing.
Trust me on this, you may believe that you have your parents totally bullshitted, but they usually know what your true character is. They may not know exactly what you're doing, but they know what you're capable of doing.
Bikini Mod
New member
I would like just ONE "logical" explanation as to how a stranger's intimate apparell could possibly end up in a family's wash.
I could care less if it were male/female. Just come up with ONE scenario that isn't completely "out there" and I would say that MABYE the dude isn't exercising extremely poor judgment during his extra curricular activities.
I could care less if it were male/female. Just come up with ONE scenario that isn't completely "out there" and I would say that MABYE the dude isn't exercising extremely poor judgment during his extra curricular activities.
vixensghost
New member
Longhorn85 said:
You've mentioned this "salvage" concept before.
I admit it, I would NEVER be able to salvage ANYTHING in our relationship if he cheated on me- EVER. I would never respect or trust him again. Yeah, it's that cut and dry with me!
What is left to salvage if someone can not get past the type person I am? I trust easy, I love easier, I do not forgive AT ALL. It's a flaw I have and it'll never change.
Spouses forgive marital indiscretions all the time when there is children involved. Is it not so far fetched for parents to stay together after a mistake, for the children? Some things are greater than how bad you feel after getting cheated on, like tghe raising of a child in a two parent household. If the other spouse is truly repentant and atoneful then there shouldnt be a reason why the parents cant stay together. Parents have done it for centuries before now and they will continue to. Assuming you are a strong person not looking to cut and run as first option.vixensghost said:
vixensghost
New member
superdave said:
Sorry, I'd not want to expose my lil girl to the fights or the lies being told in our home at the time! I'd rather have her visit her dad on the weekends than expose her to "my" hang-ups since I'm a very vocal woman. I'd not get past it- ever. Guess my "strong points" come in various degrees.
I might have a different opinion IF I were a woman who needed a man in her life though. Feel me?
Then I guess you are the type that wouldnt get past it and choose to raise your kid without her dad. Its not about you needing a man, its about the child needing both parents. Child would have minimal exposure to the fights, how long do you plan on having it out with him? You have your fight, preferably while your kid isnt around, and you come to some understanding then you get on with life.vixensghost said:
Oh, that? I can come up with a scenario: Imagine his buddies at work know his wife is the jealous type. They bust into his locker at work and slip a pair of panties into a pocket. If it's not a pocket he keeps his wallet or keys in uses, he'd probably never notice them.BIKINIMOM said:
99% of the time the woman does the household laundry, and everyone usually checks pockets. Ha ha, big funny on MyWay's husband when she confronts him with the panties.
I 
you MuscleMom.
you MuscleMom.
vixensghost
New member
superdave said:
Kids pick up on things going on in the home without a word overheard. They have a very keen sense even though they are kids!
She'd have her father in her life. I would imagine that we would do the joint custody "if" somethng like this would happen to us. He loves his daughter VERY much and I'd NEVER not allow him to have her anytime he wanted.
I pray I never have to worry about this kinda crap.
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heatherrae
Guest
Could it be that your friend that sometimes does laundry at your house had someone else's panties in her laundry and didn't know it? maybe a daughter's friend stayed over and left them there. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, yet.
Were never going to know, husband has no idea how it happened and wife has panties that so far all evidence points to him cheating. Either she accepts his explanation (he doesnt know) or she tries to prove he cheated. If she tries to prove he cheated and she finds no more evidence is she going to all of a sudden decide all is well and good? Hell no she is still going to think he cheated. So basically no matter what happens she is going to think he cheated forever.
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heatherrae
Guest
If someone is cheating, you will get plenty of little signs that they are cheating. I wouldn't automatically assume someone was cheating because of one thing like that. i would keep quiet and investigate on the down low.
musclemom said:
This is a very possible scenario. But, with him having had issues in the past about being caught secretly talking to exes, and doing god knows what kind of "suspicious activity" on the now smashed laptop...if he TRULY had no idea where these panties came from, he should be trying to solve the mystery and not let his wife suffer. He should be as calmly reassuring as possible to her.
"Honey, I have no idea where these came from. Let me see if any of the guys at work are trying to pull a stupid prank. I will tell them this has you really upset and you are thinking of leaving me. Let me get to the bottom of these panties (lol)."
Instead he just said, "I dunno" and went to sleep? With all that's happened in the past in their short lil marriage? Oh hellz no! If he loves her and wants her to not be concerned, he needs to be understanding of her concerns/needs. Regardless if she is overreacting about this or not. She seems to have some reason to react as this is not the first time that signs have pointed to him possibly being (or thinking of being) unfaithful.
Exactly my point. In particular, since she's is postpregnancy she needs a little extra compassion.ceo said:
Some of the people who are pointing out that maybe he's nonchalant because he knows he didn't do anything wrong have sort of missed the point you're picking up very well. He's been caught if not with his hands in the cookie jar he at least was reaching for the lid.
mountain muscle
New member
I think they should just be having a lot of make up sex...
With him wearing the panties.
With him wearing the panties.
rubberneck
New member
The dog carry them home!BIKINIMOM said:
BNG
Well-known member
BIKINIMOM said:
I said it before and here it is again. If he is in a locker room somebody could just be fuckin with him. Some jealous a-hole may be wanting to drop a bomb on him cause he was bragging about how great his life is to some guy who's as f'd as the Jerry Springer Contestants he's dealing with daily. People are wacked.
There's a possibility, it doesn't sound good from this side of the story and I wouldn't condone it if he's cheating. Just sayin'.
P.S. I was just thinking about a time when I was active duty that one of my "friends" thought his wife was cheating on him. We wound up in different units and he came and asked me not to come around them anymore. I had done nothing. Turned out she was ho'in around for spending cash while he was deployed. Our friendship was never restored though. People fuck up all the time, sometimes blaming the wrong peeps, jumping to conclusions etc.
I think most every cop I've known is, or has become, an arrogant ass. Feel like they are superior to the rest of the people around them.
EnderJE said:
lol! I assume you are a somewhat reasonable person. Lets say this happened to you and you really had no idea where the panties came from. Same shit in the past too (wife caught you talking to exes, suspicious activity on computer), but say you never even cheated. You could see though how it really didn't look good to your wife for you to be talking to exes. Hell, I'm sure you wouldn't like it if your wife was talking to her ex boyfriends.
Now back to the finding of the panties and her questioning you. I would think that given the past you would want to reassure your wife completely that you had no idea how they got there but that you would do your best to find out how they did.
Or am I wrong about you being a reasonable person?
If it were me, then I think that my wife would post up on some fitness board that I don't really know about (where she's posted topless pics and talked about my smashed laptop) and I'd get trashed by some Internet peeps who never really met me.ceo said:
Then again, if it were me and I were a cop who's had a really shitty day, then I'd want to go to sleep but would talk to my wife later about it.
all the whey
New member
EnderJE said:
STFU and go drive 8 hrs to pick up your SON'S DOLL, because your wife told you to you fucking henpecked pussy.
Do you still have feeeelings for some other girl you met at work or something??
Ohhh she is sooo special...I don't know what to dooooo!!!!! I might be in looooovveeee wwahhhhh wahhhhMaybe someone bought you some large red thongs as a gag gift when you were pregnant.
Stray underwear are usually a bad sign. I've been there. My boyfriend reacted in the same way your husband did. I knew he was lying and I later had real proof that he was lying. But I wasn't even 24 and I had no real emotional investment in the relationship.
This must be so hard to deal with right now. I wish the best for you and your son.
Stray underwear are usually a bad sign. I've been there. My boyfriend reacted in the same way your husband did. I knew he was lying and I later had real proof that he was lying. But I wasn't even 24 and I had no real emotional investment in the relationship.
This must be so hard to deal with right now. I wish the best for you and your son.
S
SaladFork
Guest
Stefka said:
What kind of undies to Emo chicks wear?
i would not put is past on of his bud to mess with him....we are stupid like that--although when we did it we hid the largest set you have ever seen--i think they were for a circus elephant
Stefka said:
Samoth is a emo chick?
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SaladFork
Guest
Stefka said:
He wear your undies??
S
Spartacus
Guest
shroud your lie in truthnefertiti said:
S
Spartacus
Guest
you write wellnefertiti said:
Longhorn85
New member
vixensghost said:
When you say you would never forgive at all, I guess I am reminded of the phrase, "never say never". As wonderful as you are, I doubt that you or Mr. VB are perfect, and you yourself might be in need of forgiveness someday for somehow hurting your hubby. Maybe you'll go through some type of phase, who knows?
When you see a couple that has been married for 40, 50, 60 years with adult children, grandchildren, shared memories, estate, assets, sitting as a glorious and uber-respected family patriach at a family reunion, you can rest assured that at some time during their relationship one or the other was hurt and maybe ready to leave, but decided to forgive and yes, salvage the marriage, and were able to grow and be even happier than before.
S
silverstar1025
Guest
I noticed myway has not posted in a bit. I hope all is ok with her 
I hope she gets the truth out somehow one way or the other so she has some closure on all of this.
I hope she gets the truth out somehow one way or the other so she has some closure on all of this.Bikini Mod
New member
billfred said:
LOL Dollars to donuts that when only one sock comes out of the dryer only one sock went in. If everyone went through the trouble of pairing their dirty socks I can guarantee you that this "mystery" would be solved.
Nonetheless, a missing sock does NOT = extra intimate apparel.
all the whey
New member
Bino said:
Good post. I figured you were playing devil's advicate.
But, atleast you didn't try to attack her when she was down.
all the whey
New member
Spartacus said:
She has spellcheck programmed in her.
myway
Banned
silverstar1025 said:I noticed myway has not posted in a bit. I hope all is ok with her
Nate has not given me any new answers. Just says he doesn't know how they got there. He also says he would never do this and hopes that I don't leave. He says that the next time I find anything questionable, I can leave and he won't try to stop me. My dad wants to send us to a MEGA therapist.
As far as me, I don't know about anything.
needtogetaas
New member
I'll make it ok.
B
borris
Guest
buahahahahahaahhaahahah, if I found a condom up in shawty's pants, i'd be cool to
myway said:
Soooo...he's saying there will be a "next time"???????!@?!S
I hope there's no next time. And, I sure hope this time really was nothing but a prank and definitely not him cheating. Even though it doesn't look that way. I hope you don't get hurt myway.
Longhorn85
New member
myway said:
Good
Longhorn85
New member
myway said:
Umm...not so much.
myway said:
Oh wow, he is good.
In one breath he tells you he hopes you won't leave and in another he's telling you it will be your fault if you leave and break up the family.
Take your father up on the offer and go to therapy as a couple and also go alone.
Sometime we pick people to have in our lives because there's something about ourselves we need to face and improve upon and sometimes it's just to punish ourselves for our own weakness.
You guys need to figure out or remember why you came together in the first place and what now perpetuates the negative and destructive behavior between you both.
H
heatherrae
Guest
sounds like an accidental confession there. He is implicitly stating that what happened was shady and that it won't happen again. Plus, the fact that he always goes to bed or refuses to give answers makes me think he can't face the tough questions.myway said:
