Is everything forgivable?

[blueta2]

Yes, this is a big one for me. I've forgiven much, but not always easy.
This subject came up with me and one of my girls here on EF and it got me thinking.
Women hold on to emotional baggage and have a much harder time letting go of past pains.

Many years of Al Anon and I've forgiven so many people and myself and actually changed a lot as a person, but a few past pains still linger on the radar.

In the last 4 months, I've actually reconnected with 3 people from my past where things ended really badly, but today, we talked it out and all is forgiven.

Is everything forgivable?

 

[mistaballoonhands]

No. What did he do?

 

[miplank]

Is everything forgivable? Yes.

Can everyone do it? No.

 

[PICK3]

Yes, this is a big one for me. I've forgiven much, but not always easy.
This subject came up with me and one of my girls here on EF and it got me thinking.
Women hold on to emotional baggage and have a much harder time letting go of past pains.

Many years of Al Anon and I've forgiven so many people and myself and actually changed a lot as a person, but a few past pains still linger on the radar.

In the last 4 months, I've actually reconnected with 3 people from my past where things ended really badly, but today, we talked it out and all is forgiven.

Is everything forgivable?

case by case determination

if the person doesn't demonstrate a level of emotional maturity to indicate they may repeat past wrongs, it wouldn't be prudent to reinvest in a friendship/relationship etc ...

 

[cindylou]

Yes, I think everything is forgivable but that does not mean you have to reconcile if they have not shown any change in behavior. Forgiving someone is just refusing to hate them and letting the anger go. I don't think you can rush it though.

 

[blueta2]

Not even sure it's what they did. Most people don't do things personally, but act out of their own pains and mental struggles.

for example. I had a long lost friend who did some really messed up stuff to me, I walked away from her and she came back into my life my fluke 4 weeks ago. It's been 7 yrs since I saw her and I really just gave her a hug and let go of the shit she did. I realized, it was personal and she's grown from some of the hardships in her life.
I carried some anger for her over the years and in one swoop, I was ok with the past.

My ex who almost gave me HIV, how does one forgive that?

 

[blueta2]

case by case determination

if the person doesn't demonstrate a level of emotional maturity to indicate they may repeat past wrongs, it wouldn't be prudent to reinvest in a friendship/relationship etc ...

Let's say you don't want these people back in your life in any way, but you need to let go of the anger and forgive in silence?

 

[PICK3]

Let's say you don't want these people back in your life in any way, but you need to let go of the anger and forgive in silence?

seems wise, butt easily said than done in some cases

I don't typically hold grudges though

 

[blueta2]

Yes, I think everything is forgivable but that does not mean you have to reconcile if they have not shown any change in behavior. Forgiving someone is just refusing to hate them and letting the anger go. I don't think you can rush it though.

Exactly, but the process of doing that is kind of odd. The ego takes over.

 

[miplank]

Do you forgive your hair dresser that color?