Is everything forgivable?

[blueta2]

I have a very hard time forgiving people who have wronged me. I think what happens in my case is that, after I've been mad at them and they've been out of my life for a good while, I just grow accustomed to them being out of my life and see no reason to bring them back in when I'm happy with things the way they are.

So by not bringing them back, does that mean you've forgave or just don't even think about it/them?

 

[miplank]

quit trying to be the internet tough guy, fuck im furious now

Wtf? How dare you! I'm so pissed! I can never forgive you

 

[blueta2]

Srs?

yep

 

[wootoom]

i dont deal with problems that well, which is why i have trouble forgiving

 

[wootoom]

Wtf? How dare you! I'm so pissed! I can never forgive you

im telling

 

[PICK3]

Oh come on, how much wrong could u have done?

let's see

i've promised bishes "i won't cum in your mouf"

 

[miplank]

yep

Stop being a nancy

 

[blueta2]

i dont deal with problems that well, which is why i have trouble forgiving

sometimes, me too! Do you think it's a Canadian thing?

;-)

For me, I just cannot wrap my head around people who hurt and are not sorry.

Woot, what if your ex came to you and made a sincere amends to you? Would you embrace that?

 

[blueta2]

Stop being a nancy

I'm over it now, I forgave you ;-)

 

[canadianhitman]

I think I could forgive if the person truly showed remorse. When they can't and you know they could care less about what they did, one still needs to let go, but how?!

I think you're mistaking forgiveness with letting go, and that's the problem. It's very possible to stop dwelling on the incident/person without actually forgiving them...you just cut them out of your life entirely and the whole 'out of sight, out of mind' phenomenon takes over. At least, that's what happens when I do it after awhile. At first, it consumes you several times a day...you can't help but think about the whole mess and get angry...but eventually you think about it:

-once a day, then
-once every few days, then
-once a week, then
-once a month....then less

I've had two betrayals that I have not forgiven.

One was a former friend who talked shit about me behind my back so he could look cool in front of some of his co-workers. I have no need for people lacking loyalty in my life, so I cut him out completely. I was best man at his wedding...had been friends for 10 years...but that didn't matter to me. He tried to apologize a couple of years later through a third party, but by then I was perfectly happy with him not being in my life, so I chose to keep it that way.

One is a little more complicated...my 13yrs younger brother and I haven't really spoken much in the past 2.5 years. Loyalty issue again, plus some shit drama he brought into my parents' lives also. All I ever wanted was for him to get rid of the crazy bitch who started all the chaos, and the heartfelt apology he owes me. The bitch is gone, but the apology never came. He can't man up and admit he was wrong and apologize, so we will remain estranged until he grows a pair and does the right thing.