How soon is too soon to move in with someone your dating?

[manny78]

Anything under a year is just too soon in my book.

 

[shrimp poboy]

Never move in witha woman for finacial reasons bro you will be miserable

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

By now most people on here know Im getting divorced... I emotionally detached from my wife about a year or so ago and we haven't lived with each other for several months. well during that time I met someone. she owns 3 businesses and is pretty well off. We met a few months ago but didnt start dating until a month and a half ago. well things didnt go right for my wife where she and our son were living so she needed to move back in to my place. Well the girl I am dating asked me to move in with her so I did yesterday. I told her its temporary because I dont want to move that fast but she wants me to stay.... rent free... i dont want to stay here and have it hurt our relationship which is going outstanding btw... but to live here rent free i really cant do. i feel like im taking advantage of the situation. ive dated 2 other women before her so im hoping this isnt a rebound like the other ones were. i really care for this woman and dont want anything to ruin it.

what are your thoughts on this? should I stay or should I go? she said she would be real upset if i went somewhere else. i dont know what to do. all i know is we make each other very happy and enjoy spending a lot of time together but i dont want to get burned out too quick.

My friend,

Whatever you do will be fine. You are a good guy and we enjoyed meeting you. As for the advice of others, take it or leave it.

If you two get along and enjoy one anothers company, then do just that. She can afford to pay the rent, she lived there before you, then ok. Don't stress on the small shit cause it's all small shit. Do what you can and she will be fine, if she isn't then save your bucks and move on.

Plan for a happy life but make sure you are aware the time might be short so take care of your needs then worry about everyone else later.

Then find some time to get your ass here and bring her along.

 

[bigmann245]

she live in ponte vedre?
Smells like orange park living 4u.
Good luck brah.

lol shes from Jersey and has been down here for 2 years.... I dont do the Orange Park/Middleburg girls... lol

 

[bigmann245]

My friend,

Whatever you do will be fine. You are a good guy and we enjoyed meeting you. As for the advice of others, take it or leave it.

If you two get along and enjoy one anothers company, then do just that. She can afford to pay the rent, she lived there before you, then ok. Don't stress on the small shit cause it's all small shit. Do what you can and she will be fine, if she isn't then save your bucks and move on.

Plan for a happy life but make sure you are aware the time might be short so take care of your needs then worry about everyone else later.

Then find some time to get your ass here and bring her along.

trust me, when we get time we are definitely heading your way. I told her about you guys and shes all for it. now all we need is the time to get out there.

i hear ya brotha, her and I moved real fast but for some reason it feels natural and right.

 

[earlybroncogirl]

don't........

 

[nangiggles]

I don't think a specific "time frame" needs to apply, I met my current boyfriend at work on May, we first dated on July, where officially "together/boyfriend/girlfriend" in August and by October we already lived together.... that was almost 4 years ago... still doing fine.... "time" has nothing to do with it, you kind of just know.... IMO the fact ur posting for adv means you don't know and you probably shouldnt... good luck ^_^

 

[bigmann245]

Never move in witha woman for finacial reasons bro you will be miserable

actually it wasnt financial reasons... i had a place lined up but she asked me to stay here since im here all the time anyway...

 

[Bikini Mod]

You know Bigmann, sometimes you just gotta go with your gut and don't question why it seems to be working, just enjoy that it is.

However, bear in mind that while throwing caution to the wind may be perfectly acceptable for YOU (as adults) there are a totally different set of rules when it comes to considering what *might be* (hindsight is 20/20 NO ONE CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE) best for your child(ren).

Sometimes the parents can do *everything right* and still the child(ren) act all flaky about the given situation and sometimes the parents do *everything wrong* and STILL in the end, it works out for the best. I used to think about the question of when to let my girls meet a man I am dating all the time, polled a lot of people both IRL and online. I heard of some that wouldn't even date someone until they introduced them to their kids and got the kids OK. Then I had heard from those whose parents even lived in separate households AFTER MARRIAGE giving the kids time to adjust. IMHO both scenarios are opposite ends of the same continuum and what I found after becoming quite the seasoned dater is: if you as the adult make a wise choice as to who will LOVE YOU then that person will UNDOUBTEDLY LOVE YOUR KID(S) so no need to rush the introduction "just to see."

Enjoy your time as a couple and take time to truly KNOW one another. This way the two of you will present a better united front as parents down the line, if that situation ever materializes. IMHO this isn't something that can be very easily accomplished until all the adults involved have settled into their new roles as single parents and even THEN when a new person is introduced into that child's life as a potential parental role model, all sorts of unexpected feelings have ways of rearing their heads. I don't care how old the child in question is. It is STILL NORMAL and something that all parents should anticipate.

For now, this shouldn't be an issue as your free time (when you are not with your son) should be focused on YOU and your NEW ADULT RELATIONSHIP... meaning you looking at improving YOU (without your new partner) so that YOU can be a better man, father and life partner if this relationship pans out.

Everything begins and ends with YOU.

 

[FriendlyCanadian]

By now most people on here know Im getting divorced... I emotionally detached from my wife about a year or so ago and we haven't lived with each other for several months. well during that time I met someone. she owns 3 businesses and is pretty well off. We met a few months ago but didnt start dating until a month and a half ago. well things didnt go right for my wife where she and our son were living so she needed to move back in to my place. Well the girl I am dating asked me to move in with her so I did yesterday. I told her its temporary because I dont want to move that fast but she wants me to stay.... rent free... i dont want to stay here and have it hurt our relationship which is going outstanding btw... but to live here rent free i really cant do. i feel like im taking advantage of the situation. ive dated 2 other women before her so im hoping this isnt a rebound like the other ones were. i really care for this woman and dont want anything to ruin it.

what are your thoughts on this? should I stay or should I go? she said she would be real upset if i went somewhere else. i dont know what to do. all i know is we make each other very happy and enjoy spending a lot of time together but i dont want to get burned out too quick.

she seems to really like you aswell, why don't you just tell her how you're feeling and express your concerns with her? like you really really like her but you're concerned because you don't want anything to put a cramp on your relationship. maybe state that you demand to help out with the bills or groceries or whatever else if you are going to say because that clearly seems to make you feel a bit uncomfortable, etc.

I don't know, that's what I'd say, have an open and honest chat with her about your concerns and see where that goes.