Alright, one night stand says shes having my kid and is asking for money...

[heatherrae]

Of course, I have total understanding where you're coming from. But I don't think people here were gettin on it because she was prego, but the fact that she was fucking multiple guys and then hit this guy up for money when she becomes pregnant not knowing exactly who the father is. They should get a paternity test now. Even if the kid didn't end up mine, and I knew the girl was in a hard way and I had the money no problem..........I'd give some to her. But in this shady ass world people can actually take you to court and force you to continue payments like you're "obligated".............it's like taking the action which was done out of the goodness of your heart.............and shitting on it.

There is a very small window of time during a pregnancy when you can do a paternity test. They do them via amniocentesis and this poses a risk to the fetus. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to do one while she is pregnant.

Are you talking about child support? You think her taking him to court to make him pay child support if the child is his is shady?

 

[jh1]

Of course, I have total understanding where you're coming from. But I don't think people here were gettin on it because she was prego, but the fact that she was fucking multiple guys and then hit this guy up for money when she becomes pregnant not knowing exactly who the father is. They should get a paternity test now. Even if the kid didn't end up mine, and I knew the girl was in a hard way and I had the money no problem..........I'd give some to her. But in this shady ass world people can actually take you to court and force you to continue payments like you're "obligated".............it's like taking the action which was done out of the goodness of your heart.............and shitting on it.

Not sure docs will do a paternity test during a prego, unless they have to get genetic material for a medically necessary test.

 

[heatherrae]

Not sure docs will do a paternity test during a prego, unless they have to get genetic material for a medically necessary test.

I was recommended to have one because of my age but the perinatologist then said he didn't want to risk it. They aren't done lightly. That is for certain.

 

[redsamurai]

There is a very small window of time during a pregnancy when you can do a paternity test. They do them via amniocentesis and this poses a risk to the fetus. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to do one while she is pregnant.

Are you talking about child support? You think her taking him to court to make him pay child support if the child is his is shady?

not if it's his..........if it's not his. There's already a precedent for it and I'll bet any lawyer would take the case. The guy starts paying her bills and pays for her medical expenses..........then finds out the kid isn't his...........she could possibly still get some payments from him now. There was a case like this a few years back, albeit it was a few years after the birth that the man learned he wasn't the father.

 

[heatherrae]

not if it's his..........if it's not his. There's already a precedent for it and I'll bet any lawyer would take the case. The guy starts paying her bills and pays for her medical expenses..........then finds out the kid isn't his...........she could possibly still get some payments from him now. There was a case like this a few years back, albeit it was a few years after the birth that the man learned he wasn't the father.

No, you have the facts of the case confused.

What happened in that case was that he was married to the mother at the time and legally presumed to be the father unless he disputed it within the time of the statute of limitations. He got a divorce and then tried to come back several years after the divorce and after the time had elapsed to dispute paternity because he found out later that he was not the father.

The court decided that even though the facts were unfortunate, public policy was in favor of protecting the interest of the child in having a stable provider and enforcing the statute of limitations to bring the claim.

So far as I know, there has been NO CASE ever that a man was made to pay child support solely because he helped out a woman while she was pregnant.

 

[Raptorex]

my sperm self-destruct in 15 seconds...I'm safe.

 

[velvett]

You've never had sex with more than one person in a month's time frame? I have broken up with guys and met another within that time frame. I guess I'm a "low class whore" too.

No, actually I haven't.

I have had a one nighter with the sole intent of having sex period - I don't even remember his name but damn was that a sweet night.

I am very particular about avoiding STD's and pregnancy - I am pro condoms. My father, an OB/GYN made it very clear to me - don't come home if you get pregnant - that stuck with me for a very long time, it made responsible because I didn't want to be a disappointment to him. He did not say don't have sex, don't enjoy it, he said don't get pregnant.

I can't condone her having sex with a married man. Now, that is low class. I'll give you that!



Too bad we don't still have slavery of the blacks, too, huh? The same argument was used to support that inequality too.

You can believe in equality all you want - it doesn't exist - not among different sexes, races or religion - it's a beautiful concept but it doesn't exist it's contrary to human behavior. We may walk on two legs but we're still just dogs in a pack.

A woman carries the child but it takes a sperm and an egg to make one. Men know how to make babies and so do women. One is no more responsible for preventing it than the other. Even with birth control, women sometimes get pregnant. The whole blame the woman thing is from the stone ages! I'm so glad that the lawmakers in every state don't see it this way. Men are not helpless victims of female succubi. They are just equally involved in making a child and need to own up when they do create one. No one fools them into anything. They know how babies are made.

It's not blaming a woman..
The child grows in the woman's body - she holds all the cards and the control over the care of that fetus. A woman can get pregnant and choose the future for that child - a man can not, he might think he can, he might want to but it's not his body. Right or wrong in theory doesn't matter, there is no practicality for a woman not to take 100% responsibility in taking care of their reproduction. We all know men cry and moan - ohhhhh I don't like them, I can't feel anything - if someone doesn't care about wearing a condom they don't care about spreading disease either.

I don't have a decent father for my kid either! Maybe we can burn her and me both at the stake in a simultaneous witch hunt! You can only do the best with what you have to work with. We all make mistakes in life. She made a mistake sleeping with the guy who started the thread because he obviously doesn't give a shit about her or his kid. You have no idea what kind of mom she will make or what she is trying to do for the kids.

I told you you were taking this personally, you can't even compare the two situations, you've choose to and you're wrong to do so but I understand why you feel as you do.

Her mistake was not to use a condom - his mistake was to not wear a condom.

They are equal that way - but because she can get pregnant and he can not she had greater responsibility and being that she already has a child she was in no position to be that lax with her sexual habits.




Perhaps to set back women's equality 100 years? LOL.

It's a total illusion - having more rights and freedom will never make the different sexes equal.

It's more than "women's equality" - gender issues will never be equal, in some cases women have the upper hand and in some men have the upper hand. I work with a lot of men - if I were a man they would take me seriously just because I was one of them before they tried to check out my boobs and legs, if I were a man they would not give me a better chance because I didn't have boobs and legs. I have to work harder to gain their respect and I use both my abilities, knowledge and sex to my advantage to get where I must. Yes, women can do what men can and men can do what women do but that specific to individual people not gender.


If it changes - I'm all for it.


I like you and all Vel, but wow these posts applauding the guy for sleeping with and then denigrating some woman for conceiving his child are just outrageous to me.

I never applauded him for his actions - having random sex without protection is irresponsible and he acknowledged that in his first post and he will have face the results of his actions because of it. Rightfully so.

If it's his child and she keeps him or her he will have to be the provider and/or father/provider for this child - I just don't agree that because he's a possible sperm donor that he should be called father until the tests come back as such.

Besides what if he says ok, pays for everything and decides he loves the idea of this child and then finds out that it's not his? How heart breaking is that?

$1 - could have avoided all of this.

That bugs me the most.


I'm not looking for agreement - we don't have to agree - just see where the other is coming from and I do get where you're coming from.

 

[redsamurai]

you're a good gal vel......

 

[heatherrae]

I never applauded him for his actions - having random sex without protection is irresponsible and he acknowledged that in his first post and he will have face the results of his actions because of it. Rightfully so.

If it's his child and she keeps him or her he will have to be the provider and/or father/provider for this child - I just don't agree that because he's a possible sperm donor that he should be called father until the tests come back as such.

Besides what if he says ok, pays for everything and decides he loves the idea of this child and then finds out that it's not his? How heart breaking is that?

$1 - could have avoided all of this.

That bugs me the most.


I'm not looking for agreement - we don't have to agree - just see where the other is coming from and I do get where you're coming from.

I'm not angry. I think people mistake my debating style on the internet for anger. I'm just passionate when I debate. I see your point of view, but I just didn't like all the woman bashing on the thread when I felt that both parties seemed equally responsible for the predicament. If she turns out to be a scammer then she is a jerk. I just wouldn't sleep with someone whom I wouldn't loan 280 bucks...lol.

 

[Raptorex]

The difference between men and women.

See, I wouldn't loan 280 bucks to someone who wouldn't sleep with me...lol.