Think I might want a divorce

[-SD-]

My parents are divorced and I'm totally fine.

Just go with it rob.

 

[javaguru]

My parents are divorced and I'm totally fine.

I'm surprised you posted for two reasons...

#1. You aren't at the strip club.

#2. You didn't post a link to nomarriage.com

 

[puddlemonkey]

#1. You aren't at the strip club.

PST, I just got in from teh club.

 

[mustang_00]

PST, I just got in from teh club.

a all you can eat buffet would be more believable

 

[digimon7068]

nah, my brother and sister in law have been together for 22 years and they're only in their 30's. They still do everything together, on yet another vacation as we speak. I don't think I've seen them argue since they were teens.


I stand by what I've said for years, there are two things that will break love/marriage. A lack of money and/or children. Couples can have other problems in their relationship, infidelity etc, but it's usually tied in with one of those two things.

yup...complimentary theories about money is number one and kids are probably number two...interesting...i never figured you for one of those higher primates...i'll be keeping my eye on you.

 

[nefertiti]

The problem with divorce when theyre kids is the damage/situation is permanent. Adults can eventually see the situation for what it is and move on. Kids may be forever impacted emotionally and psychologically forever, since they are kids when it all happens.

Yeah....but what about the long term damage of growing up with two parents who demonstrate all the things a relationship shouldn't be?

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in divorce except in situations where there really is no other option. But I was also forutnate to grow up in a home where my parents didn't hide the lows from me, didn't hide the work they put in to make things good again, and in the end didn't hide how much stronger they came out of those points of struggle. I'll never forget something my mom said to me about seven years ago: "Divorce would be the easy thing to do here. But I love your father too much for that." At this point they are closer than they've ever been.

I think I'm more likelely to chose the right person for the right reasons because of that. If I'd grown up in a home with parents who just stayed together bc of me but were miserable, I probably would have ended up marrying the guy I dated for four years because I would have that that dysfunction was normal.

 

[OMEGA]

reality divorced Omega a long time ago

yep I would agree lol

 

[OMEGA]

No, I'm actually not. I know marriages have rise and fall. But even in the fall, I expect my eventual husband not to ever turn to another woman for anything, unless it's his mother. I know this probably gets harder to keep up with time, but it's still a choice on my hypothetical spouses part to avoid any kind of emotional closeness to another woman. I know some women are sharks sniffing out blood, but men aren't helpless creatures unable to avoid advances, and while they may not always make the right choice, I EXPECT them to.

Again, who knows, maybe i'm naive, but I'd rather get blindsided than accept that it's going to happen. That's a sustained misery I couldn't live with, personally.

Excellent point of View

 

[OMEGA]

You're not stupid. You're just expecting your marriage to always be strong. It's not always going to be strong. When it's weak, women will be there to find chinks in your man's armour.

This is Sooo true

 

[uamaverick]

I think I'm more likelely to chose the right person for the right reasons because of that. If I'd grown up in a home with parents who just stayed together bc of me but were miserable, I probably would have ended up marrying the guy I dated for four years because I would have that that dysfunction was normal.

I think approaches to relationships are influenced by how your parents got along, but a lot of it depends on where you are mentally and how you view society and the world. My parents hated each other most of the time growing up. I can remember some happy times before I was 10 years old, but most of it after that, and especially all of it age 14 and up, was terrible. My mom played every mind game with my dad, and my dad knew it but put up with it. I know they stayed together for me, because as soon as I graduated high school, they got divorced.

The way my parents' bad example impacted me was how easily I trusted people. For a long time, I had a very difficult time trusting women. Now, I'm fortunate to be very good friends with a married couple who are extremely happy with their marriage. It's amazing to see how they are with each other, and it really does represent a lot of what I feel a marriage should be. Being able to see that has changed my opinion of society, women, and relationships. I'm also fortunate enough to have a girl in my life that I share a lot of that same connection with. I'm not saying she's the one I'll marry, but it feels good to know that relationships can be a beautiful thing.