Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cycle

[iron asylum]

Physically I can't believe the strength increases. I'm shrugging 460 for sets and my bench is up to 425. sets of 1080 on the leg press. My weight is up to but plateuing at 250. My skin is looking thinner and I am thinking I'm about 11% BF. I will be seeing my nutritionalist in the next month or so to find out.

Mentally I'm only happy when I'm in the gym. It's the high point of my day. After I get back I am grumpy tired and stressed. The lack of sleep was really killing me the last month but I am finally catching up with it a bit which makes me a Bear when I wake up. Things stress me so much (even little things) that I feel like packing up my Harley and heading somewhere where I can just leave everbody and everything I know behind. I can feel that I want to lash out or somehow just go some where where noone can see or hear me and let out about an hoursworth of "Primal Scream" I am keeping it inside though and I dont know how healthy that is. I know this is all gear related because I have a great fucking life. I live "On the Beach" in a killer condo with my wife who I am still in honeymoon phase with. I co own an aerospace company and only have to work half of the year and pull a 6 digit figure every year. How can I have all this and still feel like I want to ditch it all and leave?! Fuckin "Tren" How can you love somthing so much and hate it at the same time?!

Guess this turned into sort of a ramble and a vent. Thanks to whoever reads this.

 

[iron asylum]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

I also have one other thing going that I'm curious if anyone gets. Every morning I wake up and after about 10 minutes I get a little bit of a runny nose and I start dry heaving for about 5 minutes and then it goes away. This is a daily occurence when I seem to do thsi cycle. I don't have a cold but I do this every day and only in the morning upon waking.

 

[st8grad]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

On the bright side Asylum, this has to be easier than the four pounds of meat per day diet of a few years back.

I'm giving up a six figure salary to go back to school to do something that I am sure I will enjoy more...and most likely make less money. So from that perspective I can truly say that if you don't love what you are doing money won't matter.

Like you said, it's probably the tren, but DHT derivatives make me cranky too.

What helps me when I feel like that and it is cycle related or otherwise is to write down 5 different things I am thankful for every day. It's amazing how well that works. I know you won't do this, but one reason I took up running was that it cleared my head of those feelings. Running makes me feel good mentally and lifting makes me feel good physically.

Go blow something up or buy an axe and chop down some trees. Do that until you puke. You can't be pissed after that.

Keep reminding yourself that it's just the gear...

 

[iron asylum]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

I can't do the running because of my size but Biking is another matter entirely. I have a bike path that goes for miles right in fron of my house. Maybe that's a way I could get some alone and thinking time. Thanks St8grad

 

[Arabian]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

The dry heaving should be of a concern. Ive never heard of this however it affects people differently.. Good luck to you!!

 

[EZ_E]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

Hang in here IA

AND let's see some progress pics!

 

[needtogetaas]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

I can't relate. I just love people no matter what. HA HA. I used to hate evryone and get pissed off easy when I was drinking all the time.

 

[cbodd]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

You said that you know its gear related and sometimes you have to make a choice if the gains of gear and the way your feeling is worth it. I know when I am on tren i get very irate easily and can be difficult to live with. I switched to test and deca which makes me happy and my wife even happier. You seem to be happy with your life until you get on gear ? try switching out of tren and see how it goes. You want gear to be enjoyable and also enjoy watching your self grow .... well thats my purpose anyways.Good Luck in whatever your decisions may be.....

 

[iron asylum]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

I hear what your saying cbodd and your right but The tren results for me are so amazing it's hard to give it up. I'm one of those guys who sees a major differance from tren more so than any other AS. I love it but I hate it at the same time. The other steroid I see major results from is Oral turinabol which doesnt give me the negative affects. I will use that in my next cycle rather then the tren for sure.

 

[sweed]

Re: Where I'm at physically and Mentally half way through my ED 100/prop/mast/tren cy

Good shit ( and bad I guess)but more good!
I dry heave all the time when I am brushing my teeth... sucks.