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"You have a lump"
Well, at least it's found.
I went back to emerg the other day, which happened to be my daughter's 1st birthday so I feel guilty for not being with her all day, for the third time with this three month gut pain, screwed up bowels, and post-surgery LEEP bleeding, in addition to severe anemia and Thalassemia Minor, I was at my wit's end. I literally go to bed crying and wake up crying, from weakness, pain, fatigue, anxiety, and fear which has overwhelmed me.
Emerg does the usual blood work, urine test, and then says we can refer you. They referred me two months ago for what was supposed to be an immediate appt with a gastroenterologist. I'm still waiting. I had been sloughed off by my gynecologist and previous family doctor too many times to count. It was just evident nobody really cares.
I was sent for yet another ultra sound which didn't show anything, when the technician, who asked more relevant questions than the emerg doc, recommended a vaginal ultrasound because of the bleeding. He went to the trouble to call emerg to tell them he thought it should be done. Can I tell you I wanted to hug this man? He brought in what looked like a huge vibrator with wires to the ultra sound machine. I looked at it and thought, "you gotta be kidding me". I felt totally embarrassed. I was terrified, lol, even though I've had two kids, but I tried desperately to see some humour in it. I forced myself to giggle to myself despite the tears I felt welling up behind my eyes, because I knew they were going to have some bad news for me. I had been sensing it for months. I thought to myself, "well...this may be as close to sex as you're going to have in a very long time" lol. Needless to say it was extremely uncomfortable and at times quite painful.
They found a lump on my ovary. I know it's no use to jump to conclusions, but you just can't help it. The scenarios I entertain involving my children are so overwhelming I have to really try not to think about it.
So now another waiting game begins.
Well, at least it's found.
I went back to emerg the other day, which happened to be my daughter's 1st birthday so I feel guilty for not being with her all day, for the third time with this three month gut pain, screwed up bowels, and post-surgery LEEP bleeding, in addition to severe anemia and Thalassemia Minor, I was at my wit's end. I literally go to bed crying and wake up crying, from weakness, pain, fatigue, anxiety, and fear which has overwhelmed me.
Emerg does the usual blood work, urine test, and then says we can refer you. They referred me two months ago for what was supposed to be an immediate appt with a gastroenterologist. I'm still waiting. I had been sloughed off by my gynecologist and previous family doctor too many times to count. It was just evident nobody really cares.
I was sent for yet another ultra sound which didn't show anything, when the technician, who asked more relevant questions than the emerg doc, recommended a vaginal ultrasound because of the bleeding. He went to the trouble to call emerg to tell them he thought it should be done. Can I tell you I wanted to hug this man? He brought in what looked like a huge vibrator with wires to the ultra sound machine. I looked at it and thought, "you gotta be kidding me". I felt totally embarrassed. I was terrified, lol, even though I've had two kids, but I tried desperately to see some humour in it. I forced myself to giggle to myself despite the tears I felt welling up behind my eyes, because I knew they were going to have some bad news for me. I had been sensing it for months. I thought to myself, "well...this may be as close to sex as you're going to have in a very long time" lol. Needless to say it was extremely uncomfortable and at times quite painful.
They found a lump on my ovary. I know it's no use to jump to conclusions, but you just can't help it. The scenarios I entertain involving my children are so overwhelming I have to really try not to think about it.
So now another waiting game begins.
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