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wife is of ZERO help w/ anything financial.

abolish the weak

abolish the weak

New member
I get so aggravated with it sometimes, she tells me to hide all the porn, her mom is coming over tomm. to clean the house. She pays her mother $20 to come over once/wk and clean. Now, this would not bother me if the situation were a little different. Here is why I get pissed #1- my wife works p/t at some fucking 15-20 hr/wk job. I really dont see why we need a cleaning lady. #2- my mother in law has not ONCE looked for work in the past 2 years, and her and her husband are struggling. He busts his ass and she sits around. Now all of a sudden my wife thinks she needs to "help her" by letting her do this crap every week. #3- my old lady cant even pay 1 fucking bill by herself. NOT ONE. Granted she only makes like $200 a week working p/t but she cant pay her own car payment, cant pay our home phone, electric, nothing. I fucking do it all, everything. She is of zero help to me in any possible way financially. Not saying it isnt my responsibility to try to support us, but this is not the 1950's and we are not Ozzie and Harriet anymore. It takes 2 these days. I wish I stayed fucking single sometimes. Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore.
 
abolish the weak said:
B] Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore[/B].
Click to expand...

this shows me how much respect you have for women, your own wife really...

do go on :rolleyes:
 
abolish the weak said:
I get so aggravated with it sometimes, she tells me to hide all the porn, her mom is coming over tomm. to clean the house. She pays her mother $20 to come over once/wk and clean. Now, this would not bother me if the situation were a little different. Here is why I get pissed #1- my wife works p/t at some fucking 15-20 hr/wk job. I really dont see why we need a cleaning lady. #2- my mother in law has not ONCE looked for work in the past 2 years, and her and her husband are struggling. He busts his ass and she sits around. Now all of a sudden my wife thinks she needs to "help her" by letting her do this crap every week. #3- my old lady cant even pay 1 fucking bill by herself. NOT ONE. Granted she only makes like $200 a week working p/t but she cant pay her own car payment, cant pay our home phone, electric, nothing. I fucking do it all, everything. She is of zero help to me in any possible way financially. Not saying it isnt my responsibility to try to support us, but this is not the 1950's and we are not Ozzie and Harriet anymore. It takes 2 these days. I wish I stayed fucking single sometimes. Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore.
Click to expand...
Is money tight? How much of her check would you like for her to contribute and how much would you want her to keep to buy her clothing, hair, nails, etc? Have you sat down and looked at the budget together? Before you get all mad at her, make sure that she knows what the situation is. If she is making $800/month, I would think that she would want to buy the groceries, the phone, or something. She doesn't pay any bills or contribute that money to any kind of retirement or anything? Does she watch the kids?

However, if she wants to give her mom $20 a week out of her money, I wouldn't complain about that. That's her mommy, afterall. I wouldn't start a big fight over it. It's just a little bit. Personally, I would have never made my mom clean my house for $20. I would just give it to her.
 
heatherrae said:
Is money tight? How much of her check would you like for her to contribute and how much would you want her to keep to buy her clothing, hair, nails, etc? Have you sat down and looked at the budget together? Before you get all mad at her, make sure that she knows what the situation is.

If she wants to give her mom $20 a week out of her money, I wouldn't complain about that. That's her mommy, afterall.
Click to expand...

Exactly; does she know how you feel about the financial situation, do you have children and is that why she works p/t?
 
Faizakafez said:
this shows me how much respect you have for women, your own wife really...

do go on :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


from what ive read you have zero relationship experience. how can you comment on the dynamics of a marriage with no real world experience.

sometimes in marriage, things hit gray areas and people are allowed to have personal feelings like were written above. this is the rollercoaster of marriage. this is where emotions get real and money is a huge stressor on real relationships.

with zero experience in any of this i would suggest maybe keeping the side of the mouth insults down alittle. he didnt call her any names that were disrespectful and if you think marriage goes without alittle yelling and name calling that shows how naive you are and might explain why you have no relationship experience.


to the poster:
its time to have the budget talk and get everything out on paper. this includes showing her how to use a check book, pay bills both on paper and online, and teach her to use online banking to balance finances. she cant be blamed for something she may not be aware of. if you have always done this stuff she might just think its that way and she doesnt want to ruffle any feathers. best way is to invite her to help and make it an "us" thing.

you are definately right about the cost of living. both me and my wife are career people not by choice. its either that or we cant live the lifestyle we want. its hard. talk about it. maybe get a financial planner to help.
 
Wait a minute! Is this the same guy who was bitching about putting his plate in the dishwasher?

Holy cow!

Just do HER a favor and divorce her, already.
 
For $20 can your mother in law come clean MY house? I work full time and have a toddler to care for - does that make me less lazy to not want to clean the house? lol

Have you talked to her about this issue? What does she say about it?
 
man, even the illegal aliens charged $80 to clean our house...lol.
 
ya i think we pay my mother like 80 anytmie she cleans my house and buy her lunch and cook dinner for her and my father..
 
Let me get this straight? Your wife is paying her mom ONLY 20 bucks a week to clean your house? You live in a shoe box or does your wife just hate her mom?

Christ, I pay my cleaning lady $300 eack week to clean. IF she were my mom I'd pay her double that so i could also have a clean conscience.....
 
vixensghost said:
Let me get this straight? Your wife is paying her mom ONLY 20 bucks a week to clean your house? You live in a shoe box or does your wife just hate her mom?

Christ, I pay my cleaning lady $300 eack week to clean. IF she were my mom I'd pay her double that so i could also have a clean conscience.....
Click to expand...
I need to hook you up, a chick I went out with paid a guy $75.00 a week to come in and clean everything perfectly, she suspects OCD. He moved TV's and furniture to clean..... :worried:
 
javaguru said:
I need to hook you up, a chick I went out with paid a guy $75.00 a week to come in and clean everything perfectly, she suspects OCD. He moved TV's and furniture to clean..... :worried:
Click to expand...


It took me two years to trust the woman I have now. I would lock/hide ANYTHING of value until she earned my trust.

You can't put a price on trust. Know what I mean?
 
you have a lot to learn my friend. when i got married my wife quit her job all together and didn't do shit around the house. i didn't complain half as much as you do and your wife is working. sounds to me like your upset that you make more money and that even though shes your wife she doesn't deserve any of it. you made the decision to marry her bro nobody put a gun to your head. you made your bed now sleep in it. either divorce her or move on. she will probably never make more money than you and until then you will always complain how shes "mooching" off of you. its called marriage bro, all money goes into one pot no matter how you see it. even people making millions that marry someone that doesn't, in spite the prenuptial, lets their wife shop till she drops on his dime. you seriously need to sit down with her and show her the finances unless you make more than enough money to cover it. if you do than you shouldn't require her to work. if i made more than enough for the bills and i do at times i would not have my wife work at all.
 
Last edited:
abolish the weak said:
I get so aggravated with it sometimes, she tells me to hide all the porn, her mom is coming over tomm. to clean the house. She pays her mother $20 to come over once/wk and clean. Now, this would not bother me if the situation were a little different. Here is why I get pissed #1- my wife works p/t at some fucking 15-20 hr/wk job. I really dont see why we need a cleaning lady. #2- my mother in law has not ONCE looked for work in the past 2 years, and her and her husband are struggling. He busts his ass and she sits around. Now all of a sudden my wife thinks she needs to "help her" by letting her do this crap every week. #3- my old lady cant even pay 1 fucking bill by herself. NOT ONE. Granted she only makes like $200 a week working p/t but she cant pay her own car payment, cant pay our home phone, electric, nothing. I fucking do it all, everything. She is of zero help to me in any possible way financially. Not saying it isnt my responsibility to try to support us, but this is not the 1950's and we are not Ozzie and Harriet anymore. It takes 2 these days. I wish I stayed fucking single sometimes. Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore.
Click to expand...

and you married her why?

at the very least take responsibility for your own poor decision to get involved in a lifelong commitment with someone you cant stand
 
DUH!!!!!
HELLO!!!!!!!!
If we wanted to pay bills, WHY would we get married??!?!?!??!!?!?
j/k, lol.

I make as much as my hubby. We split everything down the middle. I'm kinda bummed because my job does not offer light duty and I will prolly get sent home from work(WITHOUT PAY) for a couple of months until after I have the baby, depending on how fast my belly grows. I'm gonna go nutz just sitting at home.
 
myway said:
DUH!!!!!
HELLO!!!!!!!!
If we wanted to pay bills, WHY would we get married??!?!?!??!!?!?
j/k, lol.

I make as much as my hubby. We split everything down the middle. I'm kinda bummed because my job does not offer light duty and I will prolly get sent home from work(WITHOUT PAY) for a couple of months until after I have the baby, depending on how fast my belly grows. I'm gonna go nutz just sitting at home.
Click to expand...
Yes, I can attest that it is boring, especially when you don't feel good enough to be out and about.
 
heatherrae said:
Yes, I can attest that it is boring, especially when you don't feel good enough to be out and about.
Click to expand...
I think you should try to have the baby on my birthday because I am cool. :)
September 20th. Mark it on your calender.
 
abolish the weak said:
I get so aggravated with it sometimes, she tells me to hide all the porn, her mom is coming over tomm. to clean the house. She pays her mother $20 to come over once/wk and clean. Now, this would not bother me if the situation were a little different. Here is why I get pissed #1- my wife works p/t at some fucking 15-20 hr/wk job. I really dont see why we need a cleaning lady. #2- my mother in law has not ONCE looked for work in the past 2 years, and her and her husband are struggling. He busts his ass and she sits around. Now all of a sudden my wife thinks she needs to "help her" by letting her do this crap every week. #3- my old lady cant even pay 1 fucking bill by herself. NOT ONE. Granted she only makes like $200 a week working p/t but she cant pay her own car payment, cant pay our home phone, electric, nothing. I fucking do it all, everything. She is of zero help to me in any possible way financially. Not saying it isnt my responsibility to try to support us, but this is not the 1950's and we are not Ozzie and Harriet anymore. It takes 2 these days. I wish I stayed fucking single sometimes. Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore.
Click to expand...
if you make 300k+ a year you wouldnt have to worry about trivial shit, you would have bigger shit to fight about!!! dude money is just a symbol. what you described in your post is relationship 101.dividing chores, what do you expect from each other, you dont feel your needs are gettin met and chances are she doesnt either. when i met my first wife (she refers to herself as dumbass #1) we made like 30k ayear combined. she worked as a waitress on the weekend and i was a jr. sales manager. neither one of us knew anything about relationships and it was a fucking nightmare. well 18 years later and wife #3 i finally got it right. i make 10 times more money and she doesnt work but that aint the secret to our success. we have learned to communicate our needs and not make each other "pay" for historical events. ppl are attracted to ppl that remind them of primary caregivers. the things that attract us initially wind up repelling us in short order, usually around the 2 year mark,thats when the endorphins have settled down and reality sets in. lots of folks feel the strain and start the splitting process, even if they stay together physically. whats really happening is a mutual working out of past traumas projected on to your love interest. all of this is subconscious and we are just automatons in a tragic play. when you "get" this, you guys can do something about it. most folks take a few xanax and start the bed hoppin game and land in the same relationship with another body. good luck to you and yours. i know first hand how painful this shit can be.
 
Smurfy said:
and you married her why?

at the very least take responsibility for your own poor decision to get involved in a lifelong commitment with someone you cant stand
Click to expand...


i think the little head married her not the big head....lol
 
myway said:
I think you should try to have the baby on my birthday because I am cool. :)
September 20th. Mark it on your calender.
Click to expand...


when is your 30th? i know i should know this but i failed algebra and i cant figure out what the x and y are.
 
vixensghost said:
Let me get this straight? Your wife is paying her mom ONLY 20 bucks a week to clean your house? You live in a shoe box or does your wife just hate her mom?

Christ, I pay my cleaning lady $300 eack week to clean. IF she were my mom I'd pay her double that so i could also have a clean conscience.....
Click to expand...
$300 a week to clean?? come on now. You livin large in 15000 sq ft with like 10 bathrooms?
 
bigmann245 said:
when is your 30th? i know i should know this but i failed algebra and i cant figure out what the x and y are.
Click to expand...
It will be in 2008. Damn, I'm feeling old. You wanna hear something bad? My dog and hubby's b-days are also in September but I keep getting the 2 days confused. I think it's Outlaw's bday when it's Nate's b-day and Nate's bday when it is Outlaw's bday. Poor puppy. Poor hubby.
 
People actually pay others to clean their house ? :confused:

What's next, paying someone to walk to the mailbox for you?
 
myway said:
It will be in 2008. Damn, I'm feeling old. You wanna hear something bad? My dog and hubby's b-days are also in September but I keep getting the 2 days confused. I think it's Outlaw's bday when it's Nate's b-day and Nate's bday when it is Outlaw's bday. Poor puppy. Poor hubby.
Click to expand...


yea your catching up to me...lol

well just make sure you buy him a card and a gift BEFORE both dates and your safe
 
bigmann245 said:
yea your catching up to me...lol

well just make sure you buy him a card and a gift BEFORE both dates and your safe
Click to expand...
Great idea! I knew I could count on you. Ur smart.
 
heatherrae said:
Wait a minute! Is this the same guy who was bitching about putting his plate in the dishwasher?

Holy cow!

Just do HER a favor and divorce her, already.
Click to expand...


^^
agreed.
ATW, you obviously have zero respect for her. leave. I'm sure she won't mind.
 
Bro, you need to find you a woman like Stilleto







then beat her into submission of doing your bidding.
 
timtim said:
from what ive read you have zero relationship experience. how can you comment on the dynamics of a marriage with no real world experience.

sometimes in marriage, things hit gray areas and people are allowed to have personal feelings like were written above. this is the rollercoaster of marriage. this is where emotions get real and money is a huge stressor on real relationships.
Click to expand...


actually, i wont comment on the above statment. But there are always two sides to every story. I'm sure his wife isnt really that evil and or lazy. I mean you here one side of the story that makes his wife seem like a total lazy incompetnent slob, i would rather hold any judgements or give poor advice with out her side of the story
 
WOW. I feel ya bro! I see where you are coming from. My wifes mother has not worked in years and her husband just got fired last October and has been looking but can't find a job. She has not even offered to get a job. No kids to look after they are all grown up and live on their own. She puts so much stress on him. Atleast she could do is go out and get a job to help with the bills but no, she just bitches at him which makes him a mean fuck just like her. Have not been to their hosue since November! I don't want their poison around us. They are negative fucks! We gave them a check in January for $20k to help out with the bills and keep them afloat. She has the nerve to send me an email 3 weeks ago asking for more money! FUCK THAT! Even my wife said no. I was happy about that. Thought it might be an issue but we are on the same page.


abolish the weak said:
I get so aggravated with it sometimes, she tells me to hide all the porn, her mom is coming over tomm. to clean the house. She pays her mother $20 to come over once/wk and clean. Now, this would not bother me if the situation were a little different. Here is why I get pissed #1- my wife works p/t at some fucking 15-20 hr/wk job. I really dont see why we need a cleaning lady. #2- my mother in law has not ONCE looked for work in the past 2 years, and her and her husband are struggling. He busts his ass and she sits around. Now all of a sudden my wife thinks she needs to "help her" by letting her do this crap every week. #3- my old lady cant even pay 1 fucking bill by herself. NOT ONE. Granted she only makes like $200 a week working p/t but she cant pay her own car payment, cant pay our home phone, electric, nothing. I fucking do it all, everything. She is of zero help to me in any possible way financially. Not saying it isnt my responsibility to try to support us, but this is not the 1950's and we are not Ozzie and Harriet anymore. It takes 2 these days. I wish I stayed fucking single sometimes. Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore.
Click to expand...
 
Well, I'm beginning to see a trend, may I direct your attention to the other thread atw created about his wife:

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/chat-conversation/am-i-being-ass-w-my-wife-560591.html

I wonder whether it's so much she's lazy, or just passive aggressive behavior on her part probably due to the fact you disrespect her? Did you need to broadcast the fact she filed for bankruptcy to the board? Not really, but in the post about the fact you can't do cardio in your neighborhood you implied she is basically the reason you live in a neighborhood you consider to be a "ghetto."

I'm just DYING to ask: Why did you marry a woman you that it sounds like you don't respect? And why bother creating these whiny ass bitchy threads about what a lazy, stupid ass the mother of your children is if you're not going to respond to the comments made by the other posters?
 
foreigngirl said:
normal? No, no, no. I am too much of a cheap ass to be payin someone to do stuff that I can do on my own
Click to expand...

That's the key. I believe in personal responsibility and doing things for myself and only asking for help when absolutely neccessary.

Paying someone to clean up the mess I make? lol, and people wonder why Americans are so rude, fat and lazy.

I don't care if I was rich, I'd still pick up after myself.
 
I hate cleaning toliets but the day I have to pay someone else to take care of my home is the day I stay at home.

I enjoy taking care of my house. I dont wanna pay anyone to do it.

And if I do decide to stay home to raise kids and be a housewife ; I'd better not get any shit from my husband or I'll know I married the wrong man.
 
Don't get me wrong, my wife and I clean EVERYDAY! We keep a VERY clean condo. Some say hospital clean! :-) We do all our own dishes, laundry, dusting, vac, etc. But we do have a lady come once every two weeks to do a once over. Do we need her, no but we got used to her coming.

When my wife was in the hospital Nov 05 she came home and could not do ANYTHING around the hosue for 3-4 months. She donated her liver to her father, who had liver cancer. She safed his life! AMAZING WOMEN! But that is another story that I don't want to share on EF at this time. Well she was out and I could not do everything with work and the 2 dogs so we had the lady start. She came once a week to help out and then we cut it back to everyother week. We just got used to her plus she is nice so we kept her.
It is not like we are lazy and just said we need a maid or something...
 
She`s about to get half of all your earnings if she finds out how you feel about her. Redirect you bitching and get her to work full time and take a little pride in your marriage man. It does take two so step up and quit being a punk-ass w/ your woman. Set some plans for the house( you two) to accomplish.
 
myway said:
I think you should try to have the baby on my birthday because I am cool. :)
September 20th. Mark it on your calender.
Click to expand...
Holy heck, no! That would be a month late...lol.
 
yonkers weights said:
Don't get me wrong, my wife and I clean EVERYDAY! We keep a VERY clean condo. Some say hospital clean! :-) We do all our own dishes, laundry, dusting, vac, etc. But we do have a lady come once every two weeks to do a once over. Do we need her, no but we got used to her coming.

When my wife was in the hospital Nov 05 she came home and could not do ANYTHING around the hosue for 3-4 months. She donated her liver to her father, who had liver cancer. She safed his life! AMAZING WOMEN! But that is another story that I don't want to share on EF at this time. Well she was out and I could not do everything with work and the 2 dogs so we had the lady start. She came once a week to help out and then we cut it back to everyother week. We just got used to her plus she is nice so we kept her.
It is not like we are lazy and just said we need a maid or something...
Click to expand...

Fair enough.
My post was a little over the top anyways.
To each his/her own. I suppose people can spend their money how they deem fit. :)
 
layinback said:
if you make 300k+ a year you wouldnt have to worry about trivial shit, you would have bigger shit to fight about!!! dude money is just a symbol. what you described in your post is relationship 101.dividing chores, what do you expect from each other, you dont feel your needs are gettin met and chances are she doesnt either. when i met my first wife (she refers to herself as dumbass #1) we made like 30k ayear combined. she worked as a waitress on the weekend and i was a jr. sales manager. neither one of us knew anything about relationships and it was a fucking nightmare. well 18 years later and wife #3 i finally got it right. i make 10 times more money and she doesnt work but that aint the secret to our success. we have learned to communicate our needs and not make each other "pay" for historical events. ppl are attracted to ppl that remind them of primary caregivers. the things that attract us initially wind up repelling us in short order, usually around the 2 year mark,thats when the endorphins have settled down and reality sets in. lots of folks feel the strain and start the splitting process, even if they stay together physically. whats really happening is a mutual working out of past traumas projected on to your love interest. all of this is subconscious and we are just automatons in a tragic play. when you "get" this, you guys can do something about it. most folks take a few xanax and start the bed hoppin game and land in the same relationship with another body. good luck to you and yours. i know first hand how painful this shit can be.
Click to expand...
YOu should write a book about this. It would be a best seller.
 
No, I agree but in our case we needed it. It was a hard time. My wife and her father could of died. She was at home and was in bed for 4 weeks alone. She could not lift anything or drive or do anything. It was hard on us. But we got through with alittle help. Now she is fine and we are lucky but still keep the lady around to help out and to help her too!

alien amp pharm said:
Fair enough.
My post was a little over the top anyways.
To each his/her own. I suppose people can spend their money how they deem fit. :)
Click to expand...
 
heatherrae said:
YOu should write a book about this. It would be a best seller.
Click to expand...
na. 10,000 ppl already beat me to it. shit this stuff is as common as anal\genital warts on puddlemonkey.
 
layinback said:
na. 10,000 ppl already beat me to it. shit this stuff is as common as anal\genital warts on puddlemonkey.
Click to expand...
The same people who bought the other 10,000 would buy one more...lol.
 
Lestat said:
$300 a week to clean?? come on now. You livin large in 15000 sq ft with like 10 bathrooms?
Click to expand...


I have a big house, but not a 15000 sq. footer....Biiiiiggggg all the same!

My cleaning lady is single with three kids. She's worth EVERY cent I pay her. She also does more than the average "cleaning" lady would do too. I also trust her. Trust is important to us.
 
so why u marry her? a nice ass? the only nice ass that gave u the time of day at the club? ask yourself that.

people don't change. people just find out people's true colors once the honeymoon is over. but nobody 'changes'.

r
 
abolish the weak said:
I get so aggravated with it sometimes, she tells me to hide all the porn, her mom is coming over tomm. to clean the house. She pays her mother $20 to come over once/wk and clean. Now, this would not bother me if the situation were a little different. Here is why I get pissed #1- my wife works p/t at some fucking 15-20 hr/wk job. I really dont see why we need a cleaning lady. #2- my mother in law has not ONCE looked for work in the past 2 years, and her and her husband are struggling. He busts his ass and she sits around. Now all of a sudden my wife thinks she needs to "help her" by letting her do this crap every week. #3- my old lady cant even pay 1 fucking bill by herself. NOT ONE. Granted she only makes like $200 a week working p/t but she cant pay her own car payment, cant pay our home phone, electric, nothing. I fucking do it all, everything. She is of zero help to me in any possible way financially. Not saying it isnt my responsibility to try to support us, but this is not the 1950's and we are not Ozzie and Harriet anymore. It takes 2 these days. I wish I stayed fucking single sometimes. Some bitches are just plain lazy and it's getting very tough to earn my respect anymore.
Click to expand...

Typical woman. To find a good one is like finding a flea in a haystack.
 
vixensghost said:
I have a big house, but not a 15000 sq. footer....Biiiiiggggg all the same!

My cleaning lady is single with three kids. She's worth EVERY cent I pay her. She also does more than the average "cleaning" lady would do too. I also trust her. Trust is important to us.
Click to expand...


I think thats great that you pay her what you think she is worth insted of some of those maid cleaning services that charge X dollars per hour and give them 8 bucks an hour no benefits.

Cleaning houses is hard work, and tho anyone can do it, it is still hard work worth good $$ if you find a good cleaning lady who actually disinfects instead of just wiping stuff down with a dirty lukewarm rag to make everything look "neat".
 
cindylou said:
I think thats great that you pay her what you think she is worth insted of some of those maid cleaning services that charge X dollars per hour and give them 8 bucks an hour no benefits.

Cleaning houses is hard work, and tho anyone can do it, it is still hard work worth good $$ if you find a good cleaning lady who actually disinfects instead of just wiping stuff down with a dirty lukewarm rag to make everything look "neat".
Click to expand...


AMEN LADY! Some men would not UNDERSTAND this concept, Cindy.
 
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