Well all, I told you I should have listened to my instincts

[vinylgroover]

I can't understand why healthy, well-functioning people use the internet for dating.

It's not to say that people can't be a cunt to you in real life......but there is a difference between 'trying' to make a connection with someone on the net, and making a 'real' connection with someone you meet in public, or at a club or through friends or at the gym etc.

 

[RADAR]

AND if you had flown up to AZ you would have BAILED too no?

oooooo!!Noooo! Velvett don't go dragging me in to this!!!!



RADAR

 

[Baoh]

I can't understand why healthy, well-functioning people use the internet for dating.

It's not to say that people can't be a cunt to you in real life......but there is a difference between 'trying' to make a connection with someone on the net, and making a 'real' connection with someone you meet in public, or at a club or through friends or at the gym etc.

To avoid the lies. Even so-called "real" connections tend to be composed primarily of false posturing, not genuine feeling or actual personality traits possessed by the people involved.

In actuality, though, the net, being semi-anonymous, makes it worse in many.

Either way, lesson learned.

 

[Burning_Inside]

I've had no problems with the whole net dating thing. Met a lot of chicks that were decent enough to tolerate for a few hours at a time, and who supplied my needs.

All girls are hormonally imbalanced (crazy) to SOME extent (my conclusion through my journeys) as it is, so it doesn't matter if you find them online or in a bar/club.

Chesty, please post up this girls screen name. I'm sure we'd all love to make life hell for her for a brief period of time. Maybe you did, but I didn't read the second or 3rd pages of this thread.

 

[Burning_Inside]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Well all, I told you I should have listened to my instincts

How many people are truly decent?

A couple of hours - isn't that the length of most dates?



Do all first dates have second dates?

Let's turn the tables for a moment.

You meet up with some chick that's from a 1000 miles away, when you first meet her you realize she's not what you had expected but you give it a few hours to see if you could be attracted to her anyway.

You decide you're not attracted and you'd rather wack off alone than spend another moment with this person. Now let's say you are like this woman that Chesty met and you have no balls to tell this woman to her face that you're just not interested as you thought you would be in her.

Would that not be the same?

Would it have been better that she lead him on - have sex and then walk away the next day? Or no - "talk all night long - just like in high school".


As for military - I am under the impression that military training would provide one with a bit thicker skin.

So, it didn't work out, buck it up and move on.

It's a dog eat dog world Frackal and it's time to have those milk-bone panties ready.

I think the point people (who I take it have done the net dating thing before, like myself) are trying to make here is that 99.9% of the time, if you accept to meet someone from online, ou know what they look like, know what their personality is like, and KNOW if you'd even want to bother with them BEFORE you meet them. That's usually the hi-point of internet dating..You know what you are getting before you get it. That's why you can't really liken this to a blind date, because really it's not. In fact, I'd say close to all internet dates are not blind dates, but quite the opposite.

Now with that in mind do you understand why so many have written their disgust?

 

[Burning_Inside]

I can't understand why healthy, well-functioning people use the internet for dating.

It's not to say that people can't be a cunt to you in real life......but there is a difference between 'trying' to make a connection with someone on the net, and making a 'real' connection with someone you meet in public, or at a club or through friends or at the gym etc.

take it from me, a healthy , well functioning person who uses the net to meet chickies when he's bored.


Basically the arguement you posted is completely 180 degrees oposite of how you view it. When you;ve done the net thing for a while, you eventually come to understand that compared to how you usually have met women (in public), the net thing is actualy a much more viable way to make a "real" connection, rather than "trying" to do it in public. Maybe you never got into it, but I can tell you that 9 and 1/2 times out of 10, people open their heart and minds more through conversation online with someone (after they have seen their picture, so it seems to be the case more often than not) than they will to joe shmoe coming up to them in a smokey loud bar offering to buy them a beer, or over an overly expensive candle-light dinner. I'm serious.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Have any of you had a bad experience with someone that you met at work or the gym or at a party? Did they lie about their job or whether or not they were even really available? Did they seem all into you at first then just *poof* disappear (sometimes after sex)? Did they start out seeming very nice and then after a short while after they could no longer restrain themselves begin lying or turn into a psycho? So how is this so much better than net-dating?

I actually PREFER net dating, been doing it off and on for about 2 years and with the exception of two BIZAAROS (one there was only and email exchange or two, the other there was only a phone call) most of my experiences have ranged from "eh" to "Why on earth would that man put up a pic that was AT LEAST 10 years old, then fly me to his town? Did he not think that I would notice when I got off the plane that he had probably NEVER seen the inside of a gym and was beginning to lose A LOT of his hair?" to "really decent guys who are now my friends" to "an incredible fantasy".

I believe that if one chills, doesn't take shit personally, doesn't lose themselves in "the excitement" of thinking THIS IS THE ONE it is actually an excellent way to meet people that they may never have met otherwise.

There is a certain amount of net-savvy one must have I believe in order to do this succesfully. One thing is DO NOT go planning any trips to meet someone unless you have spent SEVERAL MONTHS exchanging emails, IM's and phone conversations. Like any other relationship, interest may be VERY HIGH in the beginning only to fizzle for one reason or another. This isn't to say anything negative about one party or another, but only recognizing reality here. If the parties are a good distance from one another, what are the chances that the relationship will ever turn into anything other then pen-pals or on-line friends anyway? Right?

If the person is geographically desirable then meet for coffee. It is a short time and small money investment so I REALLY prefer this. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Like with anything else in life.

The internet is an amazing tool to exchange information. What one does with that information is strictly up to them.

 

[supersizeme]

chesty, i'm sorry to hear it went this way. honestly from the way you were describing your worries about whether or not she was even going to show up, it's good that you at least got to meet her. you can imagine how much more pissed you'd be if you spent all that money and didn't even get to see her.

Net dating - bleh. I understand what burning_inside says in regards to making a better connection with people, but that comes at what always seemed to me to be an ugly risk. The shitty part is when you're talking to someone online for a while, and then finally the picture exchange comes, and you're not even remotely attracted to them. Then you get to look like the shallow asshole because of all the attention and interest you showed in them prior to the dreaded picture exchange. Or even worse, you find the picture to be tolerable, but then when you go to meet them, you realize that the picture you got was the abosolute best possible physical presentation of the sea donkey that's sitting in front of you. It happens. And it happens A LOT more often than a good match does. All it takes is a few situations like Chesty's before you get turned off from it for good. I'll take meeting girls in real life any day of the week, despite the fact that it's definitely easier to do it over the net.

In defense of what this girl did in Chesty's situation, I can't hold it against her too much. She didn't force Chesty to spend the money it took to get out there, and by no means should it reflect poorly on her that the money was spent and nothing came out of it. She sacked up enough to go meet him and see if there was anything there. Sometimes there isn't, and it was better for both of them that it wasn't drawn out over the course of the weekend so that Chesty's led on, and she's wanting to stab herself in the face the entire time. Sometimes it just isn't there between two people. Unfortunately in this case, Chesty had a lot more to lose than just 3 hours of his life at a bar with someone he hadn't met before. Chesty, don't hate women for this...it was just a case of there not being a spark between two people. It doesn't mean dating and women as a whole suck.

 

[vinylgroover]

Have any of you had a bad experience with someone that you met at work or the gym or at a party? Did they lie about their job or whether or not they were even really available? Did they seem all into you at first then just *poof* disappear (sometimes after sex)? Did they start out seeming very nice and then after a short while after they could no longer restrain themselves begin lying or turn into a psycho? So how is this so much better than net-dating?

I can honestly say no. Instinct is a wonderful thing, and it's something you can use to your advantage when you meet someone face to face.....your instincts become useless on the net.

It is far easier to bullshit someone on the net than it is in real life. Not saying it doesn't happen in real life, but it's alot harder to look someone in the eyes and bullshit to them than it is to write crap on the net.

If someone does bullshit you in real life, it's quite easy to pick it up......or at least it is for me. Unless you have a well thought out story, it's very difficult to keep bullshit going when you are being asked to answer spontaneuos questions and answering without looking nervous or stuttering or twitching etc.

 

[sk*]

Have any of you had a bad experience with someone that you met at work or the gym or at a party? Did they lie about their job or whether or not they were even really available? Did they seem all into you at first then just *poof* disappear (sometimes after sex)? Did they start out seeming very nice and then after a short while after they could no longer restrain themselves begin lying or turn into a psycho? So how is this so much better than net-dating?

I actually PREFER net dating, been doing it off and on for about 2 years and with the exception of two BIZAAROS (one there was only and email exchange or two, the other there was only a phone call) most of my experiences have ranged from "eh" to "Why on earth would that man put up a pic that was AT LEAST 10 years old, then fly me to his town? Did he not think that I would notice when I got off the plane that he had probably NEVER seen the inside of a gym and was beginning to lose A LOT of his hair?" to "really decent guys who are now my friends" to "an incredible fantasy".

I believe that if one chills, doesn't take shit personally, doesn't lose themselves in "the excitement" of thinking THIS IS THE ONE it is actually an excellent way to meet people that they may never have met otherwise.

There is a certain amount of net-savvy one must have I believe in order to do this succesfully. One thing is DO NOT go planning any trips to meet someone unless you have spent SEVERAL MONTHS exchanging emails, IM's and phone conversations. Like any other relationship, interest may be VERY HIGH in the beginning only to fizzle for one reason or another. This isn't to say anything negative about one party or another, but only recognizing reality here. If the parties are a good distance from one another, what are the chances that the relationship will ever turn into anything other then pen-pals or on-line friends anyway? Right?

If the person is geographically desirable then meet for coffee. It is a short time and small money investment so I REALLY prefer this. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Like with anything else in life.

The internet is an amazing tool to exchange information. What one does with that information is strictly up to them.

I take it you've had cyber sex before.

-sk