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speed dating...

-Ariel-

-Ariel-

-Thandzilla-
Platinum
So I'm starting to date again... and for the last 2 weeks was dreading it, but now had some synchronous events that have kinda lifted my mood and changed my attitude bout the upcoming series of transitions... first, in my class of social systems, I get to do a project based on social interaction, and I got the idea on a study done by researchers Iyengar and Finsman on speed dating that what we actually think we are attracted to, we are actually aren't so much, specifically, what we say we we want is really inconsistent with what actually attracts us in the moment. Specifically women say they want intelligent, but are more moved by funny and charming during the actual date...

So for my project I gotta find a speed dating service and check it out... I already got one through a friend and is set up two weeks from today... doing this for the project and cause I think it would be fun... has anyone ever done anything like this before? Any stories?


I still gotta run the idea by the professor, but I think she will be down.
 
velvett said:
Wait.
What?

I thought you had a girlfriend?
Click to expand...
I was gonna start where the hell is Velvett thread, but then scrolled down to see u were present...
missed ya, glad to see ya here...
got the axe, well cause of being stupid and wanted to see an X as a friend, bottom line if I flew out to see the X, then it was over... I already bought tickets before I told her, and I stuck with my guns that I was gonna go, and we should be able to see people that we are friends with... she didn't agree... that was 5 weeks ago...

I'm not gonna lie, shouldn't even really date yet, and I can't give you a logical reason to support pro dating move, but I'm gonna go ahead and test waters... the speed dating thing is mainly for the project as extroversion comes and goes for me and depends on what mood I"m in.
Plus, the whole situation I think is very weird, but think it makes for an excellent project, with the emphasis on -priming- or unconscious motivations moving us bout 80%, of our conscious desicions... moreover, we give logical reasons, but they are just bullshit...
U know me V, I'm already overeager bout the actual project more than the dating thing, which I really am not too excited bout getting romantically involved... just think it will be fun to do, record, and experience.
Glad U are back.
 
My advice, find something you are passionate about and pick up women there, an organization. It's very natural and you have similar viewpoints which means you'll always have something to talk about.
 
javaguru said:
My advice, find something you are passionate about and pick up women there, an organization. It's very natural and you have similar viewpoints which means you'll always have something to talk about.
Click to expand...
I totally agree, and my last two S O's were in same department I am, different fields, both expressive art therapy, but now can't really date on campus cause like we both know same peeps and well, all female friends think I'm an ass... which may be true, but irrelevant to this thread, anyway, you are on campus now, and can relate to the idea that it is so much easier to date than IRL, I never really had to date, just met some chics I had classses with and yeah.. it flourished...
but anywayz, got a date this thursday with an udergrad pre med at USF, and pretty stoked cause over the phone we hit it off... I don't have nearly as much game as I think I do... and yeah, the speed dating thing is more for fun, what gets me going and I get really dorked out on are ideas, specifically pscyhological ones and how we behave and also spiritual truths of the universe... but yeah not exactly speed dating convo... so if anything I'm getting off on the idea of the project, which will be my one of my last big fun things to do before I graduate in December.

I know u are gonna date again, U have time, on campus...
yup.
 
lartinos said:
viagra may be needed to fuck that many people though.
Click to expand...
whatever happened to the chic that u texted after drunk make out session?
Curious...
I figure if you hooked up, she would be consistent with that...
just askin...
 
-Ariel- said:
whatever happened to the chic that u texted after drunk make out session?
Curious...
I figure if you hooked up, she would be consistent with that...
just askin...
Click to expand...

She told me I was self absorbed when I finally talked to her, lol. I have a couple different girls I hang with though. They're just friends though, I told one flat out I don't want a relationship. I met a new girl today though, hottest one of the summer. WE'll see what happens....
 
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lartinos said:
She told me I was self absorbed when I finally talked to her, lol. I have a couple different girls I hang with though. They're just friends though, I told one flat out I don't want a relationship. I met a new girl today though, hottest one of the summer. WE'll what happens....
Click to expand...
picls?
 
-Ariel- said:
got the axe, well cause of being stupid and wanted to see an X as a friend, bottom line if I flew out to see the X, then it was over... I already bought tickets before I told her, and I stuck with my guns that I was gonna go, and we should be able to see people that we are friends with... she didn't agree... that was 5 weeks ago...
Click to expand...

I would have dumped your ass too!

Friends with ex = Sex with ex

At least it always has in my case.
 
-Ariel- said:
pickles rock
sorry was in a hurry to check messages...
pics...
which as of late I have been spelling picks... dunno why...
Click to expand...

Just met the girl at 6pm. Sorry we I didn't take a snapshot of her, lol.
 
-Ariel- said:
dude, puddles pulled the 3 dates in one night
I haven't been on a 'date' in 5 years...
I have one date lined up thursday...
I couldn't pull of 3 dates in 5dayz.
lol
Click to expand...
yea 3 dates in 1 nite and he got a pix in his sig of a blaque chicks tits .. he's my idol
 
Speed dating is where you have 20 guys and 20 women and you spend 5 minutes with each one asking stupid generic questions, then a timer goes off and you move to the next. At the end of the night you indicate who you might want to see again based on that five minutes and if you match they hook you up.

Apparently you can find women that are desperate enough that if you can make them laugh and look good you suggest a drink after the event and then take them home that night. A friend of mine used to run those events and it was desperate hook up central. Good luck finding any hotties though.
 
ponyfitness said:
Speed dating is where you have 20 guys and 20 women and you spend 5 minutes with each one asking stupid generic questions, then a timer goes off and you move to the next. At the end of the night you indicate who you might want to see again based on that five minutes and if you match they hook you up.

Apparently you can find women that are desperate enough that if you can make them laugh and look good you suggest a drink after the event and then take them home that night. A friend of mine used to run those events and it was desperate hook up central. Good luck finding any hotties though.
Click to expand...

I would be afraid of not looking original. Because if I pulled my weiner out for all 20 girls than the girls who are next to me in line would see what was cumming.
 
Razorguns said:
Wait til you see the quality of people at speed dating. :)

r
Click to expand...

I'm guessing they look like punching bags...
That's all they're good for anyway though.
Wait, gotta be able to cook and clean too.




jk
 
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I'd never done the speed-dating thing to be honest, however, a guy could *blow it* on a date w/me within the first 5 minutes. MOST DID, matter of fact.

A date w/me was more of a job interview. There was no bullshit. I ALWAYS cut to the chase. Once both people who are looking for a relationship (regardless of what that entails) learn to cut through all the fancy distractions of window dressings, dating becomes a lot less frustrating.
 
hurricane said:
pics? put up pixs and it will be a hit trust
Click to expand...
4uc2u0.jpg

her name is jess...
not bad huh?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Explain please...

Does it have a different name now?
Click to expand...

I, nor anyone I know, does dates, i mean job interviews, i mean dates.

Sitting around a restaurant table, asking each other 20 q's, seeing if they qualify for you, judging each other. Fuck that shit.

No one judges me. I answer to no one.

r
 
Razorguns said:
I, nor anyone I know, does dates, i mean job interviews, i mean dates.

Sitting around a restaurant table, asking each other 20 q's, seeing if they qualify for you, judging each other. Fuck that shit.

No one judges me. I answer to no one.

r
Click to expand...

Ummmm so then how do you know IF you are truly interested in getting to know somebody past *their perceived hotness*?

If you don't talk to someone, then how do you know WHO they are?
 
Razorguns said:
I, nor anyone I know, does dates, i mean job interviews, i mean dates.

Sitting around a restaurant table, asking each other 20 q's, seeing if they qualify for you, judging each other. Fuck that shit.

No one judges me. I answer to no one.

r
Click to expand...
Dude, I appreciate your take, and yeah get the overall gist of what u are saying, and yeah, the shit i am learning right now and reading about priming and subconscious judgements bout people... kinda support your argument, however, I'm doing the speed dating thing cause, first I'm curious about the whole experience, I mean is is true that within 6 minutes you can already tell if you really like a person, second, what is being communicated non verbally participants, like leaning in, smiling more, laughing more, receptive posture, how does this effect the other participant, third, I say I'm attracted to intelligence, humor, open mind, but is that really what I'm attracted too... are there subconscious cues, such as seductiveness, or assertiveness, or just an upbeat demeanor that wins me and other people over... again this is for the experience and a project... that I have not even run by my professor, I just had a moment of -satori- or quick intuitive thought while on the elliptical... where I do my best thinking, that this would be an awesome project that fit the requirements for my class of grad social psych... it has an emphasis more on social systems, and this may be more interpersonal, but i"m trying to tweek my hypothesis that there are underlying qualities that generally win most people over through subconscious priming...
As far as your take on not dating... yeah, I understand where you are coming from, no one wants to be judged, or evaluated, or rejected for that matter... that blows... shit I haven't dated for 5 years, and last 2 chics I was in a relationship I met were through grad program and so I didn't have to go through this -walk on the wire- circus act of trying to connect, that said, I'm 30 years old right now, in a somewhat stable place and still have the curiousity to learn more about peeps and myself... so why not?
I'm not imparting wisdom that I don't have but, I do know this for certain, we all answer to someone... trust me, all of us do.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Ummmm so then how do you know IF you are truly interested in getting to know somebody past *their perceived hotness*?

If you don't talk to someone, then how do you know WHO they are?
Click to expand...

by getting to know them the same place you meet them. then phone, hanging out, concert. You know "normal stuff".

Hi I'm Jane I'm a nurse. I like pets.

Hi I'm Steve. I'm an accountant. I have 3 cars. I love kids.

Real natural there.

r
 
Razorguns said:
by getting to know them the same place you meet them. then phone, hanging out, concert. You know "normal stuff".

Hi I'm Jane I'm a nurse. I like pets.

Hi I'm Steve. I'm an accountant. I have 3 cars. I love kids.

Real natural there.

r
Click to expand...

OK so, a dude approaches me in the grocery store (has happened believe it or not) and he captures my attention long enough to entice me to meet him for a cup of coffee or a meal at a time and place when we are not rushed and we are wanting to get to know one another to see if there is something there worth pursuing past the initial "yea, I'd like to fuck him/her" part that brought us together in the first place.

What would YOU call that?
 
As a PS to those who have an issue with someone judging whether or not YOU are someone that that other person would want to get to know past the initial, "Yea, I'd like a piece of that.".... why would you be upset about that fact that this other person isn't interested in you past that initial attraction? I mean, are you not secure enough that just because you don't float that other person's boat this is not a poor reflection on you, but rather that you are just not well suited to one another for the long haul?

I mean, what is the big deal?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
OK so, a dude approaches me in the grocery store (has happened believe it or not) and he captures my attention long enough to entice me to meet him for a cup of coffee or a meal at a time and place when we are not rushed and we are wanting to get to know one another to see if there is something there worth pursuing past the initial "yea, I'd like to fuck him/her" part that brought us together in the first place.

What would YOU call that?
Click to expand...


tell him to call you or meet him friday to go see Rush in concert w/friends or party at the beach with Lestat.

r
 
Razorguns said:
tell him to call you or meet him friday to go see Rush in concert w/friends or party at the beach with Lestat.

r
Click to expand...

Obviously we are going to chat on the phone before I agree to meet w/him again so as to better ascertain if this man who I found to be initially charming is worth the trouble of a date. But why would I want him to be with me and ten thousand of my closest most personal friends? That sorta defeats the purpose of getting to know the guy. Dontcha think? I mean, how is this guy supposed to continue to impress me in this type of circumstance?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Obviously we are going to chat on the phone before I agree to meet w/him again so as to better ascertain if this man who I found to be initially charming is worth the trouble of a date. But why would I want him to be with me and ten thousand of my closest most personal friends? That sorta defeats the purpose of getting to know the guy. Dontcha think? I mean, how is this guy supposed to continue to impress me in this type of circumstance?
Click to expand...


One benefit to this is it's a more relaxed atmosphere, and you can observe that person's actions from a distance, ie, see how he/she normally acts when not being at attention.
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
One benefit to this is it's a more relaxed atmosphere, and you can observe that person's actions from a distance, ie, see how he/she normally acts when not being at attention.
Click to expand...

Dunno... I suppose being as forward as I am I like to mentally fence as well as sit back and take notice (especially) how people act when they are *on*... I suppose that is just one reason why I am drawn to alpha males. I LOVE to watch them own a room. However, inviting a man to a "beach party" w/my friends wouldn't exactly be my idea of watching him own anything. LOL
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Obviously we are going to chat on the phone before I agree to meet w/him again so as to better ascertain if this man who I found to be initially charming is worth the trouble of a date. But why would I want him to be with me and ten thousand of my closest most personal friends? That sorta defeats the purpose of getting to know the guy. Dontcha think? I mean, how is this guy supposed to continue to impress me in this type of circumstance?
Click to expand...


because it is NORMAL. Two people hanging out having fun.

sitting in a restaurant barging 20 q's back and forth during a job interview ISN'T. It would be like chinese water torture to me to be in a position like that.

Maybe that's how old people date on eharmony I don't know.

r
 
Razorguns said:
because it is NORMAL. Two people hanging out having fun.

sitting in a restaurant barging 20 q's back and forth during a job interview ISN'T. It would be like chinese water torture to me to be in a position like that.

Maybe that's how old people date on eharmony I don't know.

r
Click to expand...


LOL Surrounding yourself with tons of other people to avoid a direct one on one encounter doesn't sound natural OR NORMAL to me, nor does it sound like much fun. So I suppose we can just agree to disagree. Which is a good thing... obviously if someone like you met someone like me at the grocery store and the get-together that you would suggest was a bonfire on the beach with tons of YOUR FRIENDS so that you could avoid one on one contact w/me would tell me that we are not well-suited for one another.

I would blush and thank you for your interest and tell you that I don't think that we are well-suited to date but if I thought you were cool otherwise (meaning you didn't come off like a total horndog) then I would suggest friendship with no romantic interest perhaps.

See? Easy... no reason to get our shorts in a wad because it was decided by BOTH parties just weren't well suited for one another.

As for eharmony... that shit sucked ASS and everyone that I knew who used it HATED IT.

And for me dating was more like, dude sent a car or bought me a ticket to wherever it was that he was traveling/working/or living and I would fly out/be driven out to meet him. If we dug one another IRL the way we did online, (if we were equally impressed and amused with one another) it was on. If not, then WE BOTH tried to get me back home ASAP. :lmao:

My husband was the only man who flew out to meet me. :heart:
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
I dated someone before. It seemed to work out and besides that, I am a hot old guy with a ton of money. I make at least 250$ a week.
Click to expand...

Yea but the dumb OLD broad who married you did so when you had ZERO cash... but I 'spose you had a lotta poh-ten-shul... either that or that dumb old broad was a major gambler. :lmao:
 
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