should i stop my run, going through a break up

[LVTitan]

traps i dont smoke weed, it just aint for me. done it a few times, didnt' really like it, but i did spark up w/my roomie on one particularly bad weekend thinking of her ,and i thought this shit will either really make me fucked up(i thought it would) or make me forget, and i forgot for a while, watched some tv and totally got away from my worries for the whole night. i dont condone this, and you are looking for a job, but it did help me actually.

 

[alltraps]

traps i dont smoke weed, it just aint for me. done it a few times, didnt' really like it, but i did spark up w/my roomie on one particularly bad weekend thinking of her ,and i thought this shit will either really make me fucked up(i thought it would) or make me forget, and i forgot for a while, watched some tv and totally got away from my worries for the whole night. i dont condone this, and you are looking for a job, but it did help me actually.

i havent touched drugs in years, cant see myself doing it now. i cant even see myself drinking. the good news is that i think i got the job, they want me to come for orientation, which is about sure as i can get. so that means moving to a different city. i also signed up for school in september.

she hasnt called me or emailed me, so i know she is realizing that she didnt love me, which will help her move on. it hurts to know this, but its for the better. better for me to know now then find out later. tara if you;re reading this, i hope you are ok. i know you didnt mean for this to get this way, its just the way life works, you tried to love me, but you couldnt force yourself. you just lost that feeling for me and i desperately wanted you to get it back. once its gone, its gone. even though you made that list of pros and cons about me, that was your head doing that, not your heart. logic tells you that i am a good guy and treat you well and will love you no matter what. but its not in your heart to love me back. you jsut dont feel it. so no list is going to make you love me. go out and have fun. just dont throw what you have done in the last few years away. build on it, build a better you. dont fall into the trap everyone in this city falls into. you;re better then that. you;re young, and have so much going for you. you;ll find the right person that you will love unconditionaly, just like i loved you. you said you life always works out good for you. so dont be sad, be happy. you;ll have a great life ahead.

 

[tfavata]

thanks for the replies. i still dont know what to do. i just want to be better NOW. i try to workout, but i have no strenght or anything. i just sit there looking in the mirror. everyone at the gym knows there is something wrong with me. i dont tell them, but they know. i guess i just look pothetic.

Look bro whAtever you do do not stop cold turkey on your cycle this will lead to suicidal depression. Slowly lower your doses and see a doc about the depression and then you can see if you want to bring it back up again. Scince this just happened try at least to eat proein bars and shakes, that 12lbs you lost is a majority of water weight you will get it back fast if you want. I know this seems like a very difficult time right now but believe me bro we have all been through this at one time in our lives. Soon after the initial shock and sadness you will get mad and that is when you want to focus your energy on work and gym. Redirect your anger at the weights and not her. Pretend she dosent even exist and keep occupied this will make you a stronger person and you will find out more about yourself. I have a friend of a friend that a similar situation happened and he tried to kill himself and almost suceeded. Please write me back to make sure youre ok.

 

[alltraps]

im alive. not thinking about suicide. but nothing is getting better. im still not eating or training. and im donw around 20 lbs. i had a dream about her, and in it, she told me shes in love with a new guy already. what a mind fuck. no respect. just went out and got a replacement just like that. i feel so disposable. im still not at the anger stage, just shock that she is gone forever. im just starting to realize how little i meant to her, and how i was blind through this relationship. i wanted her to love me so much, i made myself believe she did, even though her actions said otherwise. this hurts more and more every day. hopefully i will move to a different city soon, so i wont be scared of running into her and getting more hurt

 

[LoneTree]

I am sorry to hear about your loss. A poet in my language said:

Time is a great healer.
Just go out and walk, run, anything you can do.
It is better than therapy and antidepressants.

 

[fireflyer]

I know exactly where you're at bro. Caught my wife cheating last May. Freaked so bad I was in the hospital for a week for suicide attempt. See a doctor pronto!!! They have stuff just for this kind of situation - anti-anxieties and anti-depressants. Get a script and get on them. I'm off them now but they saved me bro. I know how bad you hurt - bumping up your serotonin will give you the break and strength you need to see this through. I know we're all such tough guys that think nothing of taking PCT after an AAS cycle but when an even more traumatic event happens to us (i.e. a painful breakup) we shun meds. It won't fuck you up dude - it'll just cheer you up and make it hard to think of the bad shit all the time. The worst thing you can do is let that shit play out in your head over and over. It'll take years off your life and you'll lose that body you've earned.

Celexa (citalopram) worked really well for me at 20mg ED to start and 40mg ED after a few weeks. It takes a couple weeks to kick in so they'll give you something else to start.

Sounds like she's moving on bro and you can't change that. I'm sorry; I know how much that sucks. But dude, you're still here and in your own words you treated her great - right? And you take care of your body right? Well, think about an even better time, with a better woman that is as crazy for you as you are for her. A woman that really appreciates the way you are and what you are. It will happen - that's a fact bro!!!

 

[alltraps]

I know exactly where you're at bro. Caught my wife cheating last May. Freaked so bad I was in the hospital for a week for suicide attempt. See a doctor pronto!!! They have stuff just for this kind of situation - anti-anxieties and anti-depressants. Get a script and get on them. I'm off them now but they saved me bro. I know how bad you hurt - bumping up your serotonin will give you the break and strength you need to see this through. I know we're all such tough guys that think nothing of taking PCT after an AAS cycle but when an even more traumatic event happens to us (i.e. a painful breakup) we shun meds. It won't fuck you up dude - it'll just cheer you up and make it hard to think of the bad shit all the time. The worst thing you can do is let that shit play out in your head over and over. It'll take years off your life and you'll lose that body you've earned.

Celexa (citalopram) worked really well for me at 20mg ED to start and 40mg ED after a few weeks. It takes a couple weeks to kick in so they'll give you something else to start.

Sounds like she's moving on bro and you can't change that. I'm sorry; I know how much that sucks. But dude, you're still here and in your own words you treated her great - right? And you take care of your body right? Well, think about an even better time, with a better woman that is as crazy for you as you are for her. A woman that really appreciates the way you are and what you are. It will happen - that's a fact bro!!!

im not sure if treated her great. if i was so great, why would she leave? i must have been a bad boyfriend.

 

[alltraps]

this is my last post on here.
she called me today and left me a message appologising that it got this way. she sounded happy. i feel like shes rubbing it in my face that she is great and happy about this while im suffering. she;s been trying to get rid of my for 6 months and i just thought since she is young she is confused or whatever. i belived when she told me she loved me, i believed with all my heart. i swore she was not capable of lieing. well i was wrong. shes so happy now that she finaly ended it, after trying everything to get me to dump her. i loved her so much, that i just wanted to be there for her and help her, meanwhile she was trying to get rid of me. i feel like the last two years i was fooled to believe something that didnt exist. i was played like a fool, and now am paying for it while she is off laughing about it somewhere. i do now wish this feeling i have upon anyone, but i know one day she will fall for someone as hard as i fell for her, and they will do to her what she did to me, and then she will remember all this, call me and appologize for everything. tara, you fooled me. i could never imagine you could turn on me like you did. after all, you were so pure and innocent. i just cant belive you have no heart at all and are completely happy after not even two weeks. have a good life, i hope it turns out better then our so called bullshit relationship.

 

[LVTitan]

thats just how young bitches are, she really did love you bro, but girls change so much between 19-26 that it is totally possible that she just stopped loving you. i know it's hard to understand, but i've seen it countless times with people, and it's happened to me a couple times, you cant get mad, or get hurt, it's not your fault, and it's not totally her fault. she is just growing up and changing, and you need to accept that. i know it's easier said than done. if you wanna talk bro you know how to find me, but i'm unsubscribing to this thread because it just makes me mad to see other people going thru this shit too. hit me up traps.. titaN

 

[fireflyer]

More K to you alltraps. I would've bet my life that my ex was incapable of treating me the way she did - good thing nobody took that bet ;-)

Toughest lesson learned - not everybody that gets your love will earn it, respect it, deserve it, cherish it or return it.

Take a look around bro - there's sweeter and hotter girls out there and even on this board (hi CanadianCutie). Just give it a little time for you to catch your breath - you just got the shit kicked out of you by the person closest to you. You need some recovery time. Trust me about seeing your doctor. The meds can really help you through this. Don't lose anymore weight - go to the gym - eat, eat, eat - sleep even if you need a sleeping pill or Gravol. Remember - there's only one person's love you really can't live without.... yours!!! Keep respecting yourself and indulge in lots of self love.

BTW - I found that there's a ton of books on this at the local library. I read constantly for the first couple months and found some stuff that worked for me - it's worth a shot bro.