Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
See what a pathetic loser Lestat is..
- Thread starter Lestat
- Start date
Bro, just remeber, that whatever her feelings, or lack of, towards you, it isn't a reflection on you.
Anjolie marrying Billy Bob instead of me proves that people are fucked up.
The point is that her opinion of you is just one in several billion, and no more meaningful than anyone elses. If you were #1 to every chick in the world, then what would the rest of us do for fun
Anjolie marrying Billy Bob instead of me proves that people are fucked up.
The point is that her opinion of you is just one in several billion, and no more meaningful than anyone elses. If you were #1 to every chick in the world, then what would the rest of us do for fun
here is the email I ALMOST sent to her tonight.. but at the last minute had the self control not to.
__________
I need some closure, I need an end to this.
I feell like I have said all there is I could possible say. I've
bared my sould, I've opened my heart. I've expressed every ounce of
feeling and being I have to give.
You've told me you needed space.
you've told me you wanted to live life on your own.
you've told me you wanted to know what a bad first date feels like.
I suppose that should be enough. But I've given up a substantal
portion of my life, I've given me heart, my soul, my being. I'd give
everything I had in this world to you if that was what you asked for,
if that was what you required.
I don't expect a response to this, and frankly I do not want one.
For the last few months, I thought I was with a woman who accepted me
for who I was, every flaw, every strong point, the good, the bad, the
ugly, the amazing. I am no where near perfect, and I know I will
never be. I'm a man, a human, a flawed being. I've got some strong
point, some decent things about me. But if you were to look at my
bare soul you'd see imperefection, vunerability, insecurities, and far
more. I'm not ashamed of that and I shouldn't be.
I was fooled into thinkiong I had a woman by my side that would accept
me completely. I could say the wrong thing, but she'd understand.
I'd do the wrong thing, she'd take it in stride. Afterall, I'd do the
same for her. I didn't expect perfection, I just expected love,
unconditional love. The type of love I longed for in my life.
I do pretty well for myseld, relatively speaking. I am sure I'd make
a great boyfriend or mate for a lot of people. But I was never
content with that. I looked for something special, something better
then the rest. And I found it, at least I thought I did. I was
fooled into thinking I had someone who would love me unconditionally,
with her whole heart. I was suckered actually. I was hesitant, slow
to give my all, and I have more to give, but that was cut short. For
what reason? I will likely never now. As of right now I can only
chalk it up to immaturity. I wish I had more to go on, but that is it
for now.
Just know that I loved you with every ounce of my being. I may not
have shown it ever second of every day. But I did. And that is sadly
something I can say I have never been the recipient of. Its an
amazing thing really, to completely give yourself to someone. I hope
you will try it sometime. Its literally like putting your life in
someone else's hand. Your happiness, your well being is then dependent
on someone else. its not easy. And I never thought I would do it,
and I can't imagine doing it again.
Do you know what it is like to take a bite of your favorite food and
have it turn to ash in your mouth? I do. Do you know what it is like
to wish death upon yourself, because it is th e only way to achieve
uninterrupted sleep? I do. Luckily for me I am wise enough, even
now, to see past that. To continunue agony, because I know the pain
will one day break. But it isn't easy.
I loved you, but you treated me like a stranger. You were thinking of
only one person the night of June 5th, and it wasn't me, and it wasn't
your friends, it wasn't your family, it was yourself.
I cherish every moment I had with the woman I loved. With the woman
who would come over to see me at the drop of a hat. With the woman
who would give up her last year of college antics to be with me. With
the woman who would share countless weekends with me, countless
dinners, trips with my friends, evening out with her friends, who
would spend so much of her time just being with me, being there for
me, just being period. I loved that persion. I am slowly but surely
coming to the realazation that the person that I loved did not really
or truly exist. That the person I loved, was also a person who
returned that love unconditionally. The hardest part of this is
knowing that I was in love with a fantasy of mine. A fantasy that was
nearly fulfilled, but not quite.
These are wasted words.. I would send them to you... but honestly..
you are not worth the effort or the time.
Brian
__________
I need some closure, I need an end to this.
I feell like I have said all there is I could possible say. I've
bared my sould, I've opened my heart. I've expressed every ounce of
feeling and being I have to give.
You've told me you needed space.
you've told me you wanted to live life on your own.
you've told me you wanted to know what a bad first date feels like.
I suppose that should be enough. But I've given up a substantal
portion of my life, I've given me heart, my soul, my being. I'd give
everything I had in this world to you if that was what you asked for,
if that was what you required.
I don't expect a response to this, and frankly I do not want one.
For the last few months, I thought I was with a woman who accepted me
for who I was, every flaw, every strong point, the good, the bad, the
ugly, the amazing. I am no where near perfect, and I know I will
never be. I'm a man, a human, a flawed being. I've got some strong
point, some decent things about me. But if you were to look at my
bare soul you'd see imperefection, vunerability, insecurities, and far
more. I'm not ashamed of that and I shouldn't be.
I was fooled into thinkiong I had a woman by my side that would accept
me completely. I could say the wrong thing, but she'd understand.
I'd do the wrong thing, she'd take it in stride. Afterall, I'd do the
same for her. I didn't expect perfection, I just expected love,
unconditional love. The type of love I longed for in my life.
I do pretty well for myseld, relatively speaking. I am sure I'd make
a great boyfriend or mate for a lot of people. But I was never
content with that. I looked for something special, something better
then the rest. And I found it, at least I thought I did. I was
fooled into thinking I had someone who would love me unconditionally,
with her whole heart. I was suckered actually. I was hesitant, slow
to give my all, and I have more to give, but that was cut short. For
what reason? I will likely never now. As of right now I can only
chalk it up to immaturity. I wish I had more to go on, but that is it
for now.
Just know that I loved you with every ounce of my being. I may not
have shown it ever second of every day. But I did. And that is sadly
something I can say I have never been the recipient of. Its an
amazing thing really, to completely give yourself to someone. I hope
you will try it sometime. Its literally like putting your life in
someone else's hand. Your happiness, your well being is then dependent
on someone else. its not easy. And I never thought I would do it,
and I can't imagine doing it again.
Do you know what it is like to take a bite of your favorite food and
have it turn to ash in your mouth? I do. Do you know what it is like
to wish death upon yourself, because it is th e only way to achieve
uninterrupted sleep? I do. Luckily for me I am wise enough, even
now, to see past that. To continunue agony, because I know the pain
will one day break. But it isn't easy.
I loved you, but you treated me like a stranger. You were thinking of
only one person the night of June 5th, and it wasn't me, and it wasn't
your friends, it wasn't your family, it was yourself.
I cherish every moment I had with the woman I loved. With the woman
who would come over to see me at the drop of a hat. With the woman
who would give up her last year of college antics to be with me. With
the woman who would share countless weekends with me, countless
dinners, trips with my friends, evening out with her friends, who
would spend so much of her time just being with me, being there for
me, just being period. I loved that persion. I am slowly but surely
coming to the realazation that the person that I loved did not really
or truly exist. That the person I loved, was also a person who
returned that love unconditionally. The hardest part of this is
knowing that I was in love with a fantasy of mine. A fantasy that was
nearly fulfilled, but not quite.
These are wasted words.. I would send them to you... but honestly..
you are not worth the effort or the time.
Brian
out_at_sea
Banned
Lestat said:
Good think you didnt send it...
Too long .......
Shorter and concise.... is much better!!
Lao Tzu
New member
I see the bitterness phase is kicking in. For me that is one of the saddest parts of a breakup, seeing two people who used to be on the same team turn on each other. Sad as hell.
Its good you didn't send it though.
But yeah i agree you shouldn't really, truly, completely open yourself up to anyone except blood relatives, yourself and whatever God you believe in. Maybe a true friend too. But def. not a college age white girl who you've been seeing for 21 months. Definately not someone like that.
Its good you didn't send it though.
But yeah i agree you shouldn't really, truly, completely open yourself up to anyone except blood relatives, yourself and whatever God you believe in. Maybe a true friend too. But def. not a college age white girl who you've been seeing for 21 months. Definately not someone like that.
Last edited:
