Judge: Father is to have sole physical custody, Mother is granted supervised visitation. **************

[jh1]

yeah bro you showed a lot more compassion than i would have
i would've hammered the trick

I'm as vindictive as them come bro. Nobody has survived crossing me yet, this is a first. But slamming her like she would have slammed me would have meant that my daughter wouldn't have a mom for along time, if ever.

She even left me a voicemail that I have saved from May, saying if it was up to her she'd cut me out of our daughters life completely. That was the type of shit that made it really hard to not fuck her hard... that and the fact that she tried to take me for every dime she could even though it was clearly wrong and she wasn't entitled to it. That shit was infuriating...

I think she'd do it again given the chance, that's what makes it REALLY hard. It's like I lobbed her softball.... but I can't really expect the same in return.

Bish.

 

[DannoMight]

good job on keeping your cool throughout the whole situation. My fiance's brother had a similar experience with his custody case and won custody of his daughter. His ex was trying to pull similar antics and wound up pissing the judge off bad enough to lose.

 

[jh1]

^^^^

For HeatherRae.


Also I did the math last night.

There is $1233 designated for her support.

Of that, I have voluteered that the wife gets $814 (66%), and I will get $419 (34%). Per Month. I also pay our child care expenses which are ~500 per month right now.

Despite the situation. I don't think that's fair - I think it should be 50/50 - but I hope it will avoid any further bickering about it down the road.

 

[heatherrae]

The visitiation that is supervised by the courts is always terrible. You did the right thing by having it supervised by the ex-mother-in-law.

On the child support, you should have let the judge order the money to you. It would prevent future shenanigans.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'm as vindictive as them come bro. Nobody has survived crossing me yet, this is a first. But slamming her like she would have slammed me would have meant that my daughter wouldn't have a mom for along time, if ever.
She even left me a voicemail that I have saved from May, saying if it was up to her she'd cut me out of our daughters life completely. That was the type of shit that made it really hard to not fuck her hard... that and the fact that she tried to take me for every dime she could even though it was clearly wrong and she wasn't entitled to it. That shit was infuriating...

I think she'd do it again given the chance, that's what makes it REALLY hard. It's like I lobbed her softball.... but I can't really expect the same in return.

Bish.

Clearly, a man who "gets it" and why he is the better parent.

If there were more men like this, the court system would not be so overburdened with UTTER BULLSHIT. And who pays the price?

THE CHILDREN.

Anyone male or female that does not realize regardless of what the process entails the children are the ONLY ONES who get fucked no matter what, should be straight up publicly humiliated by massive bitch-slappings.

 

[jh1]

The visitiation that is supervised by the courts is always terrible. You did the right thing by having it supervised by the ex-mother-in-law.

On the child support, you should have let the judge order the money to you. It would prevent future shenanigans.

I was afraid if I took the support - which I was due by the standard - that if/when she passed her drug tests - we'd be back in court (WITHOUT A DOUBT) battling over the amounts that I'd have to pay her again. So we would have been back to court in 9 months if she pulls through - which is what I want - for her to be clean - and I don't want to go back to court. That's a nightmare.

That was the most litigus part of our case, and could have drug on forever in the cirucumstances because I felt so strongly about it. At this point I had the power to set it at an amount that I could live with and that would set a precedent of sorts and it's highly unlikely she'll try to adjust it because she'll know it will be a fight and the judge won't want to anyway.

 

[heatherrae]

I was afraid if I took the support - which I was due by the standard - that if/when she passed her drug tests - we'd be back in court (WITHOUT A DOUBT) battling over the amounts that I'd have to pay her again. So we would have been back to court in 9 months if she pulls through - which is what I want - for her to be clean - and I don't want to go back to court. That's a nightmare.

That was the most litigus part of our case, and could have drug on forever in the cirucumstances because I felt so strongly about it. At this point I had the power to set it at an amount that I could live with and that would set a precedent of sorts and it's highly unlikely she'll try to adjust it because she'll know it will be a fight and the judge won't want to anyway.

Yeah, makes sense then. What is important is just that the family heal and that baby is well cared for. You are doing that, and that is all that matters. =-)

 

[jh1]

Also - as I expected - when she told her mom / stepdad about the arrangements - she said that 'JH1 was Forcing her to do it'.



Of course, don't take the blame... put it on me.

The fact is, the GAL recommended it to the court and the judge orders it. I had no say in it. The GAL simply asked me if it would be possible to have a family member help as opposed to family services and I gave her some names - and even said I think that we could extended the visitation to be as close to our custody arrangement as possible.

But she made *ME* out to be the bad guy, of course I explained this to her mother... and I'm sure she beleives me... but there is still get that feeling that she thinks her daughter is a bit of a victim here. Just a motherly protection thing.

 

[heatherrae]

Also - as I expected - when she told her mom / stepdad about the arrangements - she said that 'JH1 was Forcing her to do it'.



Of course, don't take the blame... put it on me.

The fact is, the GAL recommended it to the court and the judge orders it. I had no say in it. The GAL simply asked me if it would be possible to have a family member help as opposed to family services and I gave her some names - and even said I think that we could extended the visitation to be as close to our custody arrangement as possible.

But she made *ME* out to be the bad guy, of course I explained this to her mother... and I'm sure she beleives me... but there is still get that feeling that she thinks her daughter is a bit of a victim here. Just a motherly protection thing.

They should thank their lucky stars. Supervised visitation at one of those centers usually means you come see the kid in this little room and can't take her out anywhere. It is no fun for the kid -- like being in jail.

 

[jh1]

They should thank their lucky stars. Supervised visitation at one of those centers usually means you come see the kid in this little room and can't take her out anywhere. It is no fun for the kid -- like being in jail.

Yeah no doubt. I just think that the x was trying to make it seem like I was the bad guy. She was the one that KNEW she was to be drug tested and did coke anyway - how stupid can you be? If *THAT* isn't and indication that your drug use is definetly out of your control / clearly an addiciton issue - then I don't know what is.

Her mom just kept saying to me - is there anything you can do? Can you talk to the judge to ask them to let K take another test in a month - because I am sure if she does it will come back clean, etc, etc, etc.

Like the judge is going to delay to let her test again. It's his job to be a hard ass and enforce the rules.