I
Ir0n PhReAk
Guest
Um, well, mine ended up with the police knocking me down in a sewage stream and then forcing me to spend the night in a jail cell,where I sat in a sink for 12 hours, pretending to be asleep.
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27-Dec-2001 01:13 AM
HappyScrappy
Mad Scientist
Registered: Dec 2000
Location: mind in the gutter, head in the clouds, hand down my pants...
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people that know me in real life know that I have a million of these stories - I had a "problem" for awhile.
one of the more memorable ones involved, and I'll just do the bullet points:
*a pregnant woman asked me in a bar for my boxers, I asked her for her underwear, and she told me she wasn't wearing any
*I paid a girl to drink with my friend on his birthday that night
*I then didn't like the way she acted towards him, so I stole her shoes and threw them in the toilet
*I think it goes without saying I was harassing many female bartenders
*I went into another club, turned to some random girl next to me and gave her my cell phone "so she'd know where to find me" (always thinkin') and then gave the bouncer a credit card, and then ran off into the night
(this is where the memory starts getting hazy)
*I was standing in a parking lot and thought I was dreaming, and was angry at how boring the dream was - I Was staring at a blue geo metro for a long time
*a redneck with a mullett came up behind me and hit me once in the back/side of the head as I turned to him - I went down in pile immediately and passed out. apparently he yelled and kicked me for awhile, and then he drove off in a big white ford pickup truck.
*people nearby saw that and dragged me into their car, and drove me to the guy's (out of the couple) boss' house.
*I woke up on the floor wondering where I was, and didn't know anyone there - apparently I wasn't the only person that crashed there, but the ownder of the place definitely wasn't there.
*the girl there heard me describe what I remembered and she said she knew which Hooters I'd been to and she somehow figured out how to get me home via that - the only way I knew how to get in touch with the people I was with, was via my cell phone - which was given to a girl (luckily it turns out that girl was visiting a friend of my friends, and I got the phone back later)
*she drove me home and talked about her job painting velvett paintings for fairs, mostly doing horses and seascapes, and then we discussed salvador dali.
*she dropped me off and I got her name and address, as well as the guys... I had intentions of sending them nice gifts, and I of course lost that piece of paper.
*I walked through the door of my friends and they were on the phone with the police trying to find me - they had already called all the hospitals and 5 police stations.
good times. went out the next night to the same street (this was all on Ybor street in Tampa)
Without saying anything else this is by far the funniest motherfucker that I've ever read shit from. Whoever/Whatever made him leave has cost this board alot of good timess.
ROH, mF'er