give me one reason I should like you

[hellboy]

Please send me one of your sneakers so that I may have it bronzed and wear it as a medallion of my faith to you.

I can't send you a sneaker but I could hook you up with my mom. She taught me the cheese trick.

 

[revexrevex]

I know a lot about computers.

 

[MarthaStewart]

Wow and you like me? What would you do to people you hated? Don't tell me. I don't want to be scarred for life.

I assure you that the scarring I could do to you would only be physical and superficial compared to the emotional scars that religion has etched on your psyche.

 

[MarthaStewart]

I can't send you a sneaker but I could hook you up with my mom. She taught me the cheese trick.

She sounds like a special woman. Special in the "I just came in last in the 100m dash and I *still* get a pretty medal" kind of way.

 

[MarthaStewart]

I know a lot about computers.

The only two things you know a lot about are copious amounts of cock gobbling good times and sweat enduced dropping of plates on the ground after a dizzying round of deadlifts.
I respect your unquestioning devotion to a single compound move, no matter how little it works for you.

As a result, I will fill one room in your house with dog food and then piss in your sink and call it the best date I've had in years.

 

[MarthaStewart]

why should anybody care that you like them?

For the same reason one cares if they are getting into heaven.
Otherwise they are to spend an eternity in pain and anguish - and nobody wants that.

 

[jerkbox]

NIN is for unshapely girls that will never be popular no matter how frequently they put out, so they stop going outside, powder their faces white and smear gobs of black eyeliner around their eyes.
It started from the heroin chic that wanted to hide the effects on their eyes and then became a trend that pathetic losers latched on to and spread their own sad little culture out through the high schools.
The angst of sitting at home in suburban America with nothing to do. While mom was at aerobics and dad was traveling for work led them to play loud music with bursts of noise since they knew that it would piss the parents off. Enough so that they would at least yell at them, some attention, even if bad is better than being ignored everyday like at school.

NIN started in the '90s and died in the '90s - all that is left now are quotes and pathetic masses of the lost that aren't aware that they are wasting their lives in a culture that is more transparent than their skin.

You, my shit eating friend, I would wrap a dog collar around your neck and then attach a chain and drag your sorry ass down seven flights of stairs while skipping and whistling versions of Twisted Sister songs under my fetid breath.

well, I guess I missed the whole goth scene, what's the more current outcast bohemian bandwagon scene for me to jump on? and can I punch you in the stomach?

 

[curling]

I assure you that the scarring I could do to you would only be physical and superficial compared to the emotional scars that religion has etched on your psyche.

I am fine thank you. Appreciate you concern martha. Btw why should anybody care that you like them?

 

[British Athlete]

I'd love to inflict the first three se7en mortalities on you. I would beg God to bring you back to life twice so that I could make it happen. Letting you experience only a fraction of the suffering you will experience in Canto makes me feel warm and useful. Everyone of you fucks is going straight to Canto. No purgatory for your faithless arses.

I can picture myself doing it now, feeling outside of myself, listening to Bach's Air on a G String, carrying out God's work on your small insignificant body. Working feverently for The Lord himself, even he would sit up and take notice.

Liberatae tutamae ex inferis

 

[hellboy]

Well it takes a special person to squirt pimento cheese out of their ass I'll tell you what. Most people can only handle non dairy processed cheese spread or soft velveeta and everyone knows that that's not even REAL cheese.

Gross.