give me one reason I should like you

[curling]

Of course.

Exactly.

 

[PoyeBoy]

One word "Jesse and the Rippers"



BOOOOYAAAAAAH

 

[Backlash]

"MarthaStewart" and "nymph" DO NOT belong in the same sentence. Or even the same thread. My lunch is coming back up....

 

[jerkbox]

I'm a pretty hate machine.

 

[hellboy]

Sometimes I can squirt pimento cheese out of my ass.
So there's that.

 

[MarthaStewart]

this thread is the armpit of the world

i feel like someone just cocked over me and took a gigantic dump and I am now dumber for reading it

Perfect.
The combination of this and the fact that you said you were 6'8" let's me know that you will live to see another day, even if we met.
Since I am only 5'3", I live in worship of those taller than myself.
Sure it is rare, but when I do see them, I fall to the ground and make dust angels at their feet.

Praise you.

That said, your avatar makes me want to slit *somebody's* throat - just not you.

 

[MarthaStewart]

One word "Jesse and the Rippers"



BOOOOYAAAAAAH

You remind me of a combination of Matt Lauer from the Today Show, Donald Trump, and Jim Madden.
All rolled up into one gay ball of lumpiness.

I want to jump up and down on your shitter while wearing golf spikes.

 

[curling]

My head feels empty after reading that.
So does my stomach.

Fortunately, my bowels aren't empty.
I would chloroform you and then shove the solvent soaked rag down your throat and then dump the contents of my bowels over your prostrate form.
I'd dance like a Russian bear on your chest and neck and then I'd be off into the night like a nymph.

Wow and you like me? What would you do to people you hated? Don't tell me. I don't want to be scarred for life.

 

[MarthaStewart]

I'm a pretty hate machine.

NIN is for unshapely girls that will never be popular no matter how frequently they put out, so they stop going outside, powder their faces white and smear gobs of black eyeliner around their eyes.
It started from the heroin chic that wanted to hide the effects on their eyes and then became a trend that pathetic losers latched on to and spread their own sad little culture out through the high schools.
The angst of sitting at home in suburban America with nothing to do. While mom was at aerobics and dad was traveling for work led them to play loud music with bursts of noise since they knew that it would piss the parents off. Enough so that they would at least yell at them, some attention, even if bad is better than being ignored everyday like at school.

NIN started in the '90s and died in the '90s - all that is left now are quotes and pathetic masses of the lost that aren't aware that they are wasting their lives in a culture that is more transparent than their skin.

You, my shit eating friend, I would wrap a dog collar around your neck and then attach a chain and drag your sorry ass down seven flights of stairs while skipping and whistling versions of Twisted Sister songs under my fetid breath.

 

[MarthaStewart]

Sometimes I can squirt pimento cheese out of my ass.
So there's that.

Assuming that cheese doesn't get there the long way and instead takes the most immediate short cut, going in directly through that final hairy sphincter and resting fully on the walls of your own fucking slimy colon - waiting to extrude out like a Play-Doh factory with one firm push of your bowel muscles... then yes, you my friend are a hero to me.
Please send me one of your sneakers so that I may have it bronzed and wear it as a medallion of my faith to you.