Nan, you are really busy don't feel pathetic or be too hard on yourself
As we get older friends get put on the backburner and it's easy to wind up like that. I am the same way, I let myself get like that all the time even my RL friends I text way too much...someone takes up all my time!
Anyway, don't feel bad it happens to a lot of us so if you want more friends then just make that a priority. In six months you'll have a ton of people that can hug/hold you xx