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Do men like to be hit on?

cindylou said:
The only thing I see is that you said you were not ready to date really and you said that you just wanted to be friends. I hate using the word test, but it might be good test to see if he respects that boundary?

If you're not ready you're not ready. If you do end up liking him and wanting to give him a chance it may give the impression that you don't really mean what you say even though thats not the case.
Click to expand...

word test?
 
just...v said:
I don't really agree with you ladies. Overthinking can keep you closed off and you can miss out on the good things. Not to say you shouldn't proceed with some caution, but too much is nothing but fear.

I talked to Blue Shirt first, then we had some phone convos that went well. We had a great first date filled with some inappropriate behavior. (what can I say...I have never been kissed like that). I made no apologies and didn't worry he was thinking I was easy. I just went with my gut and did what I wanted with no apologies.

It's been 7 months now and I got a guy that makes me breakfast, washes my clothes, takes care of me when I'm sick, he even opens doors for me every time we go somewhere. I'm pretty happy


So to hell with over thinking. :)
Click to expand...

WTF have you been and why are you dating a gay man?
 
Update:

so I spoke with FB guy on the phone the other night. He's not an addict, but has a little bit of a bad past. Ok, I can deal with that.

I went to meet him for a little last night on my way home, and he is better looking in person, but was pretty arrogant.
He owns a successful company and is also a DJ on a famous radio station here in Montreal (Never heard of him actually, but don't really listen to the radio)....BUT, he told me he HATES cats and that he LOVES country music.

So I'm done ;-)

Like I suspected, he hit on me and he seems like a jerk. This theory in my world has been proven over and over.
Hence why I'm only going to date a guy I will hit on

Though he did just give my business a free plug on the radio. He's on now and in between the dreaded country music, I heard him plug my business.
 
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Obv it didn't work out so it doesn't matter, but I say careful going on dates if you 100% know you don't want a relationship right now. Being led on is the worst.

Not that you did that here, just sayin. :)
 
I'm very clear to people (like I was to this guy) that I was not interested in a BF right now. I don't mind meeting new people, going out, maybe even a little nookie, but as far as a bf goes...yeah not ready and I won't lead them on.
Thanks AFeed :-)
 
No, not hit on anyone........yet!

But I did meet up with Mr FB last night and it's like I suspected, he's a train wreck! Shocker!

I won't even go into details, but he looks so "normal" on the outside, but is a mess. He even said "I'm sure since you're a nurturer and very kind, you must get all sorts of needy men after you".......fuck, ya think!

Anyone who says they are not a manipulator is a master one. He had no idea I am a fucking hound dog when it comes to sniffin out manipulators and liars! I called him on a few lies and also said "Any chance you were in jail for anything"
He was like "Why, who told you", hahah!
I said "just a hunch"
 
Yeah being a lil older now I've found that my gut instinct is almost always right.
Especially when it comes to the nature of ppl.
 
gatemoney said:
Yeah being a lil older now I've found that my gut instinct is almost always right.
Especially when it comes to the nature of ppl.
Click to expand...


So true...the signs are always there...and our subconscious always seems to spot them a mile away. It's when we start thinking and projecting expectations and making excuses for obvious faults that we get ourselves into trouble.
 
blueta2 said:
No, not hit on anyone........yet!

But I did meet up with Mr FB last night and it's like I suspected, he's a train wreck! Shocker!

I won't even go into details, but he looks so "normal" on the outside, but is a mess. He even said "I'm sure since you're a nurturer and very kind, you must get all sorts of needy men after you".......fuck, ya think!

Anyone who says they are not a manipulator is a master one. He had no idea I am a fucking hound dog when it comes to sniffin out manipulators and liars! I called him on a few lies and also said "Any chance you were in jail for anything"
He was like "Why, who told you", hahah!
I said "just a hunch"
Click to expand...

I got goosebumps. :shiver:

glad you spotted that stuff early
 
canadianhitman said:
So true...the signs are always there...and our subconscious always seems to spot them a mile away. It's when we start thinking and projecting expectations and making excuses for obvious faults that we get ourselves into trouble.
Click to expand...

You are so right. A lot of us were raised that way, I know I was. I was taught that feelings were bad, and emotions unreliable. Either that or they just didn't matter.
 
canadianhitman said:
So true...the signs are always there...and our subconscious always seems to spot them a mile away. It's when we start thinking and projecting expectations and making excuses for obvious faults that we get ourselves into trouble.
Click to expand...

^^^Can I get an AMEN!?!
 
canadianhitman said:
So true...the signs are always there...and our subconscious always seems to spot them a mile away. It's when we start thinking and projecting expectations and making excuses for obvious faults that we get ourselves into trouble.
Click to expand...

bang on and so true! Took me this long to get that
 
smurf2 said:
Never ignore the red flags! I did that with several past relationships. What a mistake!!
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I'm was the master at ignoring the red flags b/c just like Canadian said, I projected myself onto others believing everyone was/is good and kind.
When I think of all the serious red flags I saw at the beginning of a few of my past relationships, I cringe
 
i like to be pissed on
 
blueta2 said:
I'm was the master at ignoring the red flags b/c just like Canadian said, I projected myself onto others believing everyone was/is good and kind.
When I think of all the serious red flags I saw at the beginning of a few of my past relationships, I cringe
Click to expand...

Me too! To think that i was stupid enough to look past certain disturbing traits in people!! Eeegad!!
 
nah, you were not stupid, you were learning. We all make mistakes as to learn for the next time.
The good news is, you learned from them. Some people live their entire lives so damaged and never realize how broken they are
 
what if you have a character flaw/ a thing you know you do ...and you still do it..do it while you recognize youre doing it but somehow think the outcome will be different??

fml
 
shirlene29 said:
what if you have a character flaw/ a thing you know you do ...and you still do it..do it while you recognize youre doing it but somehow think the outcome will be different??

fml
Click to expand...

Work on ridding yourself of the flaw. Ask a higher power to remove it (al anon talking here) and then make a conscience decision to stop it.
I'm actually leaving right now to start a Mindful Meditation course which this sort of mediation addresses character defects etc.
 
smurf2 said:
I think of it as stupidity because i didnt think things out properly and because of that, i made bad decisions.
Click to expand...

ok, but we are human we mess up. Just dislike the self name calling even if the action was stupid, you were not! The action was.

I hear you on the making the bad decisions. Most of mine were based on fear, so changing that now.
 
smurf2 said:
I think of it as stupidity because i didnt think things out properly and because of that, i made bad decisions.
Click to expand...


for me I know its a gullibility about human nature...so ya, it is stupidity.
I dont think someone will be willfully cruel when Im proved wrong time and again...and I wear my heart on my sleeve which people take for a weakness when its really that I'm just very open about my emotions with people Im close to.
fuck it..
 
<--- wears heart on sleeve also!


Gets me into a whole heap of trouble. I'm learning how to detach from my "good girl" these days. Everyone tells me I need to get tougher and meaner with men. In business I'm a shark and in friendships, I take no shit, but when it comes to relationships, I get like jello
 
I gotta be honest outright lust has gotten the better of me quite a few times...and a willingness to please a whole nother buncha times
Im also to free with money-gifts...and looking back I'm wondering how many people I just unintentionally "bought" and who was really there for me

funny to me how many friends or lovers I had their back but they rarely had mine
I've become a bit of a recluse because of it...
 
shirlene29 said:
I gotta be honest outright lust has gotten the better of me quite a few times...and a willingness to please a whole nother buncha times
Im also to free with money-gifts...and looking back I'm wondering how many people I just unintentionally "bought" and who was really there for me

funny to me how many friends or lovers I had their back but they rarely had mine
I've become a bit of a recluse because of it...
Click to expand...

You sound a lot like me. I did and do a lot for others and they rarely have my back. I mean some close friends do, but the men in my life, well they never did!
It's all about being codependent. We tend to make our own selves feel needed and who are we if we are not needed right?
We are forced to look at our own self when we have no one else to focus on.
Hard to change that, but it is possible
 
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