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Do men like to be hit on?
- Thread starter blueta2
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Dman22
New member
I like for a woman to let me know she is interested. Not to straight up like I want you , just a little what's up. If a girl "hit" on me and I wasn't attracted to her and I didn't give her the response she was looking for she might get upset. If she let me know she was interested I could go along with it or pull away in a nice way so no feelings hurt. Unless she's banging Hot! Then just come jump on this!!
blueta2
New member
well so far, at my age, all men who hit on me, were players or losers or cheaters....I've never hit on a guy. Never had to.
blueta2
New member
I'm not bad looking and yeah I would be pretty subtle if/when I do the "hitting" on
training700
New member
Hell yea.. least I prefer the more the better.. lol but in my case I don't really make a real move so gotta be that way.
Sent from my DROID3 using EliteFitness
Sent from my DROID3 using EliteFitness
newNimproved
New member
i dated over 30 women, only 2 of them i talked to first. the other hit on me.
newNimproved
New member
sup dave
blueta2
New member
really, I would think it was the reverse since if a guy hits on a girl and she take the bate right away, she would come across as easier, but if she is doing the "hit", she seems more in control
no?
Dman22
New member
With that confidence what are u asking?? Shit walk up and make a move girl. Wish there were more girls that were "good looking" witch I don't know u are
that would come start a convo
blueta2
New member
Was she super hot? And if no, if she were, would you have felt all the girly feelings you felt here? ;-)
blueta2
New member
With that confidence what are u asking?? Shit walk up and make a move girl. Wish there were more girls that were "good looking" witch I don't know u are
I turn a few heads....
Depends on the situations, but I would never just walk up to a stranger and hit on them. I would do it in the contexts of let's say, if I were in a group and there was a guy I thought I wanted to get to know, I would make small talk and then end if with, txt me sometime or let's go for a drink one night.
I mean, I don't have the best game since I've never hit on a guy in any serious way
*ebony*
New member
huh?
blueta2
New member
that's a lot of women! Why have you dated so many women?
blueta2
New member
yeah, if she takes the bait of being hit on, she would seem easier and more willing to have the sexy time no?
If she had to do the work, and he take the bait, then she holds off?
Dman22
New member
That the way I would like to be hit on. Depending on the nite. If you had some bad ass game I would wonder y. I also don't mind a girl thAt maybe got a little shy. I think thTs cute and i love to make girls laugh and I could play off of thT. But the txt or call me later is cool. For me the challenge is where it's at. I'll pass up a easy chick for one that I'm not going to have a chance with so don't lay it all out
blueta2
New member
ok, that is different, You're a real man then. Most married or taken men would have tried to bang her anyway
blueta2
New member
good advice, I will only lay it all out if The Rock hits on me....other than that, I am not giving it all up
Dman22
New member
good advice, I will only lay it all out if The Rock hits on me....other than that, I am not giving it all up
I'm sure there are guys hating in this rite now maybe because it's hard for them to get laid. But in my opinion it's how I said. Don't come off easy, have confidence but it's ok to be shy or timid. And make him struggle a little. But keep a big smile and a turn on for me is funny and laughing (not like crAzy) love thT shit
*ebony*
New member
I don't believe so. Just because you think he thinks that you're more willing doesn't make it so. In the end you control when you have sex. So whether you hit on a guy or he hits on you, you just go out have fun and send em home. keep sending him home at the end of the night, eventually its not just about sex meaning he's been hanging out with all this time cause he likes you. THEN if you decide you really like him enough to share your body with him, deliciously rape him.lol
blueta2
New member
blueta2
New member
Yes of course, I am close to 46 yrs old, I never give it up until I am ready. If I am tipsy and horny and meet some guy, well maybe I will utilize him for the night, but it's not often that happens.
Dman22
New member
It's the other way for me
blueta2
New member
hahaha......true
*ebony*
New member
then you're good to go. I get too nervous trying to hit on a guy so I like the more traditional route of a guy asking me on a date.
Dman22
New member
I was meaning the ladies that I end up with want to be fed then taken to the bed then fed again and even some want food while we are in the bed.
Dman22
New member
I have that touch of attracting the kind of women that you would not find on this site unless it's the diet section for a new years resolution. But I don't really take them to the sack I gently buy a buddy enough beer that he ends up taking her off my hands
*ebony*
New member
lol, I was thinking something totally different.
ladies you go out with are some hungry chicas.
Dman22
New member
What were U thinking?
*ebony*
New member
gay?
*ebony*
New member
that you appreciated a sandwich before sex.
Dman22
New member
Haha nah I mean I guess I would if I knew that as hot as I get and and the exercise it takes to perform at max wouldn't make me ralf it up. But I would rather cool down and eat after
canadianhitman
Well-known member
I always enjoyed it....provided the woman fit the bill for what I find attractive.
redsamurai
Banned
1) where's strongbow now that blue is single
2) how the hell is blue single?
2) how the hell is blue single?
blueta2
New member
SD, it didn't work out. I've been single 2 1/2 months now. Was pretty tough, I miss him a lot but there was no choice in the matter.
Ender: she's a looker
Red: I'm single by choice right now and will stay that way for a while. I'm reassessing all my bad choices so they don't happen again. It's no secret I am a horrible man picker.
Ender: she's a looker
Red: I'm single by choice right now and will stay that way for a while. I'm reassessing all my bad choices so they don't happen again. It's no secret I am a horrible man picker.
blueta2
New member
I never hit on men ever, but once I meet a guy I like, yes, I much prefer being pursued.
Here is a good example: I was at a reunion party last weekend, and the one guy who actually had the courage to come talk to me, then hit on me, was an ex con, fresh out of the federal pen living with his Mom and was in and out of prison his whole life.
My male friends say only the losers will approach you because they don't care about rejection, it's a numbers game, but otherwise men feel you will reject them.
So maybe I need to pursue a little.....
E
EarthRider
Guest
I don't know i hit on my wife first and persued her. she was the first girl i slept with, so yeah stop finding dudz in the dumpster and shit
blueta2
New member
You were also a kid when you met her and never had a relationship before that. When I was 22, I was with someone for 11 yrs, but shit happens!
Get a little baggage and some more life experience and then see if your game changes
I don`t look in the dumpsters, I just happen to meet them.
Get a little baggage and some more life experience and then see if your game changes
I don`t look in the dumpsters, I just happen to meet them.
E
EarthRider
Guest
well i did go for the innocent church girl and it worked out well for me. i'd do that again
newNimproved
New member
im in the same boat, i get the crazies after me.........i guess it happens when u turn em out, lol
just start talking to a guy and exchange some words here and there over the course of a week or two.. then if you get a good vibe invite him to a game or yoga or something like that. he will get the hint that you want to go out before that and probably end up asking you out first if he has half a brain and can put 2 and 2 together.
blueta2
New member
Same here.....but I now realize that it's the vibe I was giving off. I'm a "fixer" so to speak (a healer by trade and I work in animal rescue), so I would get all the addicts and broken people (I hate the term crazy) gravitating towards me (friends and ex's)
I don't come from a family of any addictions, my parents are happily married 56 yrs and my life was really normal growing up, so how I fell into this is more about my need to save and fix others.
My Mom told me when I was 5 or 6 yrs old, I use to save bugs from water or bury dead birds or other animals and I still do that today.
It's the Buddhist in me I guess, but it's been a real drawback in my personal life, so yeah, I meet a lot of mentally unwell people for sure.
I've cleaned up a lot of my life though and still working on how to be a good person and not feel the need to fix or even associate with those who are truly broken,
blueta2
New member
Good advice...but I am actually pretty shy when it comes to talking to men I like. Odd seeing is that I am pretty assertive and social.
I can try this when it's time....yoga....that would be a good first date
theoak01
New member
there is a fine line between acting interested and cock hungry, and just being interested.
If a total stranger guy comes over and hits on me hard, he's probably a douche. I agree.
But I don't think you need to hit on them. Just be feminine, nice and make good conversation and guys will do the rest. Thats enough to get the job done in my experience. I don't think it's creepy in that case, if the guy is pursuing you knowing you're interested already.
I am super forward if I'm looking for sex, though, because what the point? That's not very often though that I'm attracted to a guy enough to want to hit it but not enough to want to be with him.
But I don't think you need to hit on them. Just be feminine, nice and make good conversation and guys will do the rest. Thats enough to get the job done in my experience. I don't think it's creepy in that case, if the guy is pursuing you knowing you're interested already.
I am super forward if I'm looking for sex, though, because what the point? That's not very often though that I'm attracted to a guy enough to want to hit it but not enough to want to be with him.
she's cheating on you bro!
kx250rider
New member
Tough question... I think men are divided on that. I personally was OK with it when I was single, but I have friends who say that if a woman hits on a man, she's no challenge, and probably is...... Well, there are a few derogatory words for it. I don't agree with that, and in fact, my wife had to work pretty hard to get my attention. That's because although I liked her from the first time we met, I had no clue that she'd EVER even THINK of dating ME. She had to just about attack me to get her point across, and she's a lady (never just hooked up in her life) .
So my opinion is that there's no answer one way or the other.
Charles
So my opinion is that there's no answer one way or the other.
Charles
redsamurai
Banned
here's an idea, next guy you like tell him so...maybe just judo trip him and follow him down to the ground and mount him. I promise he won't complain. Seriously. Women need to nut up, stop this "oh i want to be pursued" thing. This isn't victorian england anymore and you're not dainty little hot house flowers ur grown ass women, right?
sorry I just get irritated when I see these stone age gender roles sneaking their way back into society. You all should be amazons and we should have to best you in a wrestling match in order to sleep with you. You know, Conan/Red Sonja style.
sorry I just get irritated when I see these stone age gender roles sneaking their way back into society. You all should be amazons and we should have to best you in a wrestling match in order to sleep with you. You know, Conan/Red Sonja style.
I prefer the cock hungry vs the just interested. It's more honest.
Blue, I'll fly out to Montreal so you can hit on me.
here's an idea, next guy you like tell him so...maybe just judo trip him and follow him down to the ground and mount him. I promise he won't complain. Seriously. Women need to nut up, stop this "oh i want to be pursued" thing. This isn't victorian england anymore and you're not dainty little hot house flowers ur grown ass women, right?
sorry I just get irritated when I see these stone age gender roles sneaking their way back into society. You all should be amazons and we should have to best you in a wrestling match in order to sleep with you. You know, Conan/Red Sonja style.
Damnit Red, you know I <3 you but fug...I like to be pursued and it's my right to like what I like w/o being told I'm not a grown ass woman, which I am regardless of what I like. I'm sorry if that irritates you, but no I will not stop. Lol, I don't need a man to tell me what I ought to like, I'm perfectly capable of my own opinion and so is blue whatever she decides.
See, now I wrapped all that up nice and pretty though I know you don't need me to do that for you...but think about how often we have to...sigh... because we are told 24/7 we don't already know whats best for ourselves or what we should like...
A man will come to me if he wants me. That is what I want. If that is what blue wants, she is still a grown woman and not a delicate flower or any other degrading term.
*ebony*
New member
cant believe I forgot about this. Should have post it earlier.
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/elite-players-seduction/picking-up-guys-girls-guide-729259.html
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/elite-players-seduction/picking-up-guys-girls-guide-729259.html
redsamurai
Banned
hehe no worries Cindy, that's your opinion and ur entitled to it. But I still stand by my thought that women ought to take stronger roles in male/female relationships. I honestly think the "courting" process of men pursuing women has damaged the overall relationship dynamic and it partly to blame for why there's so many of us divorcing. It's an uber complicated situation and i'm not going to remotely pretend to trivialize it by saying women should just drop men left and right and ride them off in the middle of the street, although that would rule..lols. But the old thought patterns have to go or at the very least be seriously revised. We've been doing the same thing for so long and it just isn't working. I know it's a nice ego stroke to be pursued but just think about the mentality that promotes within the person pursuing you and how that will then re-emerge throughout the relationship. It almost boils down to an entitilement process.
Males will always pursue females, you cant fight millions of years of evolution
Of course it works, it might not be working just for you lol
divorce rates dont have anything to do with who pursued who because by the time youre married...all the pursuing is over
Of course it works, it might not be working just for you lol
divorce rates dont have anything to do with who pursued who because by the time youre married...all the pursuing is over
redsamurai
Banned
dude we've been doing alot of things for millions of years that ain't workin. Are you saying we should drag women by their hair back to the cave? Cause we did that for a long time, why'd that stop btw?
i did state there was more to it but I still beleive the whole dynamic from start to finish is responsible so part of it is that pursuit process. It's a complex concept that requires more than just passing thought while u breeze through the internets. Male/female dynamics are possibly the most complex concept on our planet tbh.
But trying to force anyone, man or woman, into the role of pursuer is no better than forcing one to be the person pursued via societal rules/expectations.
It's contradictory to support a group's rights or equality, but demand they act any certain way.
Truly supporting female equality in any place: work, home, society means allowing them their right to make the decision about the role in those places they would like to have, not forcing them to choose any one.
A woman who wants to be a housewife for example doesn't set the female role back any so long as she could enter her work place of choice if she wanted to. I'm not setting women back by wanting to be pursued, because women who would like to take that role can take that role.
People are allowed to have preferences.
If you want to blame the courting dynamic then blame feminism and the gender role confusion it has brought for many. Males pursuing females is constant throughout the animal kingdom including humans and is one of those things that will always be as long as we have "men" and "women". Its ingrained in our DNA and permeates society very deeply.
You wont change something like that while breezing through the internets.
Are you just not good at getting chicks bor? Need the women to chase after you or something? Not being a dick, its a legit question given the topic.
redsamurai
Banned
I'm not espousing forcing anyone to do anything...I'm just of the opinion that there is not really an open an honest discussion about compatability during the intial "pursuit" process. What it turns into is an athletic competition between crooning males and it strokes a certain part of the female ego, i just don't feel that's a legit start to a foundational relationship that stands the test of time.
Bachelor/Bachlerotte anyone?
It's a failed social paradigm. Hard fail.
And yeah i agree that there is nothing at all wrong with a woman who chooses to stay at home, that is not the social contruct i am condemning.
Bachelor/Bachlerotte anyone?
It's a failed social paradigm. Hard fail.
And yeah i agree that there is nothing at all wrong with a woman who chooses to stay at home, that is not the social contruct i am condemning.
Hell yes. Id get laid twice as much at least if women did the hitting. Women never make it apparent if they're interested in my experience ( at least not through eye contact and such).
redsamurai
Banned
Female empowerement has brought me "zero" confusion about who and what I am. You?
Don't watch animal planet much do you? Female lions brazenly compete for the males attention, they almost do tackle them at times. Of course this dynamic is the result of there being more females then males in the pride, but it shows that your statement is not universally correct. There are other species where the male/female roles in courtship are either reversed or different from ours. But of course we're talking about "animals" though right? Animals which don't have higher order thinking process's liek we do right?
so every opinion a person has must be in direct relationship to their very own personal experiences? I can't excercize my higher order brain functions to analyze a situation that obviously needs attention, such as why male/female relationships are in deep, deep trouble in our society? So if someone questions the base dynamics at the heart of these social constructs....."he must not be gettin any". No it's not a legit question dude, it's borderline retarded. It's a primate's sentiment. This has nothing to do with my personal experiences whatsoever. There are people who can divorce their opinions from their own insular experiences. It's called not drawing a broad brush stroke over the universe.
Why is there no discussion of compatibility during dating process? Ive been seeing my current lady 6 months and weve already talked openly about finances, children options, religious compatibility, extended families, etc. And Ive done that with many prior girlfriends also.
Who are you trying to get with that you think its some sort of crooning competition? Even when I was hardcore internet dating everyone I could, I never thought I was in some sort of big competition, even if I was. Dating Basics 101 is dont give a shit about your competition anyway because they dont care about you and theres nothing you can do about them anyhow. Whoever you chase is either going to like you or not, doesnt matter why because you arent going to force her to like you.
If you think the typical dating scenario for any given person in the western world is BAchelor/BAchelorette then you need to turn off the TV and get outside and actually date.
redsamurai
Banned
that show is extreme mockery I get it but it's not that far off either.
redsamurai
Banned
ok ur still looking at this from a rudimentary position. It's the mindset people have, not necessarily their actions. It's a formulated process whether you realize it or not. Now you personally I have not been around you or your current g/f so i'm not going to make a personalized judgement as to ur situation. But looking at male/female dynamics as a whole I don't think I'm that far off stating that the traditional male aggressive female passive roles have done us any favors. Nor do i want some kind of uber aggressive boardroom jockstrap wearing woman who wants to own her man, that's not where i'm going. There's just a lack of upfront honest discussion from the beginning and it's my opinion that is the result of traditional male/female gender roles. I could very well be wrong but that's my opinion right now. And part of that does come from personal experience of discovering well down the line that someone is not who they portrayed themselves to be. And it's not just my personal experience that i'm drawing on but people i have know throughout my whole life. We waste alot of time with people who end up being disingenuine...and at times through no fault of their own, their following a blueprint laid out for us. It's all they know.
*ebony*
New member
you want married ones?
Mmm. Just a twist on the question but there is one I have my eye on and believe he has on me. It's cut and dry. I know what I want and what I don't want. There's a laundry list of reasons why I might prefer a married man, including NOT doing his laundry.
I still dont understand why couples not being honest or upfront with each other has anything to do with traditional male/female aggressive/passive roles???
These roles or reversal thereof, do not mean people are lying anymore than if the roles are reversed.
Passive men lie just as well as aggressive women. Neither is more or less likely to lie.
I don't understand either. In all of my dating experiences, we discuss compatibility basics pretty early on always. That's when we decide to enter in to a relationship. Then details reveal themselves gradually, which is when we break up.
I know the basics of how every guy I've dated lives his life and where he wants it to lead. That's the whole point of dating, is to figure that shit out. I don't know how RedSam is in situations where all of that isn't discussed.
Lol, I'd love to see that list
List of things I want in a man:
1. An excellent liar
2. Questionable values
3. Emotionally unavailable
4. Someone else doing his laundry
I have another perspective...I thought the ego boost was when the person doing the pursuing won his "prize" and beat out the competition so to speak. The rush being the pursuit with the ego boost at the end. Am I wrong? What mentality does that promote and how that re-emerges...do you mean that he will view us as an object and not a person and sets up his thinking that he is entitled to control? Or is the woman is entitled?...I'm not following where your thinking is going, I'm sorry.
redsamurai
Banned
That's ok. We have to stroke yours from there on after.
but you shouldn't, that's partially my point. Ego has a huge part in this, and the stroking thereof. lols
redsamurai
Banned
We all have egos that need stroking. It's nature. You aren't going to get rid of it, and that need is going to exist no matter who takes what role. Anybody who thinks their ego doesn't need some stroking from time to time is delusional.
Thinking too much about dating is pointless. You can't think yourself in to having chemistry or making something work with anybody. It works or doesn't and you are who you are, and what you do and who you are will work with some people and not with others.
There's no point in acting in a way you don't naturally want to act. You'll get in to a relationship you think is compatible based on false personalities...but eventually you will always become your true self, and the relationship will fall apart.
People aren't who they want to be, they are who they are.
redsamurai
Banned
There are people out there who have it right, i'm not saying this 100% across the board. If you got it right you got it right, same with SD. But look at our society as a whole. Do you beleive that as a whole people view relationships as you seem to? or do we have a seriously warped view of the male/female dynamic? I tend to think it's warped based not just off my own experiences but those around me and yes, what i see in modern pop culture. One of the biggest sources I draw on is how my sister was raised, it was old school. My dad has changed now but he actually felt for a long time like there was no poin in women attending college because they're to be married anyway. I love my dad but god he was a jurassic period piece of artwork for awhile. And with small differences here and there, that's how everyone i grew up with was predominantly raised. I often wish to have been raised in the more liberal coastal regions where the impetus to mind fuck you into a life not of your choosing is not as severe. Things are obviously drastically different now even here...but during the early 80's this was everyday U.S.A
I get the feeling i'm a little older than you so my perceptions are going to be different, can't be helped.
redsamurai
Banned
AHA!!! it is the ego. And no that's exactly what I seek to destroy in myself but that's another topic and gets into my spiritual beleifs. I feel human ego is one of if not the most destructive forces on earth and when it acts in a collective it is awe inspiring at the misery it produces. At the very least hte improper formation of the ego is the problem...i agree you can never fully destroy it but you have to viciously contain it or it will utterly own your soul.
I wonder how smurf and shirlz made it to college.
Dude, you have the most internet battles of anyone here (with plunky and whoever else you pigeonhole as neocon or neanderthal etc). You incessantly bang your head against the keyboard in hopes of getting people to see your way just as much as the others.
So youre not exactly trying to subdue your own ego.
blueta2
New member
I 100% agree with you. Dead on. OR an over functioning super-ego.
blueta2
New member
Don't do it, you're walking into spiritually corrupt territory, plus it makes you a scum bag...been there many yrs ago when I was young and stupid!
You're in for a whole lot of bad karma if you do it.
redsamurai
Banned
Sorry, you don't get away with that...you know full well when and "why" the battles break out. U indulge yourelf fully.
*ebony*
New member
don't do it.
redsamurai
Banned
Ok, so I will do this next time
well hang on now female lions also walk up to the males and swab their butts right across his face....that could be awkward in public, but he'll like it I assure you. The male lions always perk up with a "ok point the way" expression when it happens to them.
blueta2
New member
hate to bring this up again, but there is a HUGE age difference between myself and you ladies. Dating at my age, is nothing like dating in your 20's.
I never pursued a man, they always pursed me.
Now at close to 46, I want to take matters into my own hands. Not to sound like I'm on an ego trip, but I get hit on all the time, and frankly, few men have a chance anymore because I'm immune to being hit on. I'm actually turned off when I am hit on.
As for the theory that it's in the male DNA to pursue, yes true, but we also have evolution and women in this day and age do not NEED men to take care of them. Women are powerful, make their own decisions, are independent and really have their pick. Back over 50 yrs ago, women didn't work, were brainwashed into thinking they had to be stay at home moms, so they married the first joe who asked them.
I never chase, no will I, but at my age, I will not play games. If I like someone, I will tell them. If the guy feels I am too easy (which I am so not), his loss. If he feels a connection and is not into games or just having sex, then he will be flattered I believe.
As for wanting men just for sex......been there, done it, miss it, but I had enough "friends with benefits" that I am good
I can have 10 sex friends if I want, Not my thing anymore.
I never pursued a man, they always pursed me.
Now at close to 46, I want to take matters into my own hands. Not to sound like I'm on an ego trip, but I get hit on all the time, and frankly, few men have a chance anymore because I'm immune to being hit on. I'm actually turned off when I am hit on.
As for the theory that it's in the male DNA to pursue, yes true, but we also have evolution and women in this day and age do not NEED men to take care of them. Women are powerful, make their own decisions, are independent and really have their pick. Back over 50 yrs ago, women didn't work, were brainwashed into thinking they had to be stay at home moms, so they married the first joe who asked them.
I never chase, no will I, but at my age, I will not play games. If I like someone, I will tell them. If the guy feels I am too easy (which I am so not), his loss. If he feels a connection and is not into games or just having sex, then he will be flattered I believe.
As for wanting men just for sex......been there, done it, miss it, but I had enough "friends with benefits" that I am good
I can have 10 sex friends if I want, Not my thing anymore.
blueta2
New member
YES!!!!! Ego is the soul's nemesis!
It helps keep the human species to keep procreating, but other than that, it's good for nothing.
I started a Mindful Meditation course today....Am going to incorporate it into my practice.
Or my own mother, in Mississippi of all places lol
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