Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advice!

[blueta2]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

oh yeah, reread. She has their logins, meaning passwords? How did she get these people's passwords?

 

[AFeedz]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

oh! She has the passwords to her ex's accounts?

aaaaand she has the passwords to her ex's ex's accounts.

That's effing weird. That's not plain ol' OCD, deco. She's using that as an excuse.

 

[Captain FT]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I've been dating this gal as you all might know, one who almost became my baby momma. To make things short, I always knew she was kinda nuts...

She's been using my computer and I've noticed in the trash bin, she has pictures of my ex, a couple of them from FB, shit I havent even seen. In the past, she's gone through my phone and a years worth of emails before so I suspected some bullshit again..

I went ahead and installed this thing that takes snapshots of what one does while they are logged on to the laptop.

I was unpleasantly surprised to see that not only does she obsessively searches on me on fb and tries and logs into my account and all types of creepy shit, SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO CREEP HER EX, HER EX'S GIRLFRIEND AND EXGIRLFRIEND. When I say creep I mean as in, she has her ex's ex-girlfriends online shop and email logins(you heard that right). If this was not enough, she has logins of 2 other girls. She uses these logins to creep her ex's girlfriends profile hella hard...

I am officially, creeped the fuck out! granted she dated this guy for 7+ years since high school, he treated her like dirt pretty much, especially last few years.
Now, I've had that similar type of a relationship with my ex where despite her being borderline an angel, I didnt give her time of the day and always picked friends over her, disregarded her etc etc and in the end, this girl would not leave me alone.. I mean you all know how this kinda shit goes...

So what the fuck do I do? I mean her old relationship left her fucked up no doubt, she also has pretty serious OCD issues. Do I deal with her further or just call it quits? I just dont think shes mentally there, I mean this is a legit stalking case here.

She's a great girl, amazing looking with a big heart for the people she cares but this is going too far. I know sheee got cought up with an Ex no one likes, her old friends were flaky fake manipulative pieces of work and since we started dating she;s come a long way, made new friends, her life is looking good. We have a lot of fun together, go on vacations, sex, humor you name it but theres this side of her where she's just downright possesive and stalkerish of her past (her OCD might play part in it). It's put a dent in our relationship where multiple times she's tried to hide our relationship from her ex and I was just shocked.. The guy is as deadbeat as they come, he cheated all the time, has been in rehab, is not even good looking or in shape or loaded for fucks sake. He's literally taken her V-card in high school and dated her for 7 years until she moved on to me, thats probobly his greatest accomplishment in life.

Anyway, When I met her she said she's single, I didn't know any of this shit until it started unfolding otherwise i'd most likely not have dealt with it..What do you people think I should do? I mean I love her, and no she doesnt cheat and has always picked me over her friends and anyone else for the most part.. I mean i've even broken up with her several times so that she would stop that whole bull where she'd hide pictures our pictures on vacation and shit like that from her ex and every time she would come back running after trying to fix with what i was not happy with... as sad as it sounds, this has been the only way to get things done around here.. This kind of bull has happened a few times but this is now the all times lowest Dissapointment i've had to put up with..

help me out here guys, i've moved in with ths girl and othrewise she's a great match who i thought about taking to the next level until this kind of things completely make me care less about what happens... Would you confront her about this? I mean what she's doing is borderline a felony with a few restraining orders sprinkled on top, I don't want her turning this way on me down the road, shes already trying to get a tattoo of me above her Vag since she has initials of her ex between her hip and thigh area. She says it'll signify her true love but I feel like I might get chopped up one day...

First, I haven't read any replies so this is my opinion based on your first post. Time to air that shit out and be honest with her. I'm willing to bet she wants to be caught so she can get a lot of shit off her chest. If you really love her and if she loves you, you have to tell her the shit has to stop. You guys will have one of those talks that's an all nighter and you'll feel better about it afterwards. You have to give her a chance after you tell her you know what's up and if it continues after that, gtfo.

 

[deco]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

You think she's going to chop you up cause she is looking at ex's and ex's gf's on fb?! Hardly!

It sounds like someone before her ex messed her up, namely her parents. Does she come from an unstable home?
Sounds like she had an addiction to the ex almost in a codependent way.

Of course talk to her about it. OCD is not an affliction that will cause her to go nutty. It's a real condition that is treated successfully all the time
If you really love her and want her to change her behavior, then why would you desert her? Support her. Tell her if she needs help, you will back her up.

Well her parents are divorced, I thought about that too but shes pretty cool with her parents. the only thing is that after she and her brother were born, the mom wasn't too inclined of taking care of them too much.. but I dont think that's it.

What it could be is that she has thse very maternal instincts with serious nurturing personality or however else you'd describe that, something that her mother didn't have. In any case, since these guy was a deadbeat and had to be bailed out and taken care of like a handicap, I think she developed these feeligns that he couldnt live without her and that he would relapse and do drugs without her, bullshit like that, the guy was dating other chicks while he was with her. This is the same way she treats her dog (now mine too I guess). The dog gets treated like a million dollar baby cuz it has some kind of a heart problem...

So the fact that i was kinda independent and didn't usually ask for help, made her feel like shes just floating in this relationship from one of the very first fights we've had. So i just kinda wrote off on ever doing laundry, cooking or cleaning up after myself and the woman never seemed happier.. its as if I gave her a purpose to her life for as sad as it soudns...

in any case, none of this solves the problem. She's grassping to her past like there's no tommorow and pretends like she doesn't care, which could be a possiblity. I'll be honest, every once in like 8 months, i'll type in my ex's name on fb and see if anything pops up, but to be doing this obsessively is a different story..like I said, there's no cheating in this if anything, the ex bf that is ignoring her email that she sends every now and then is driving her nuts. The whole point to get over someone though, is to just get rid of all signs of that person until it doesn't bother you or ruins your relationships. I know that's what past 7 to 9 years of her life has invloved is time with her ex, be it good or be it absolutely shitty which has been the case for the most part, you can't really change that. These boundaries cant be crossed like that, the guys probobly happy to himself at this point so there's no point taking this to the level of stalking...how do you show a human how to close the chapter, things have never been better for her in her life yet she lets her obsessive behavior ruin everything. There's nothing left to grip and she even knows it...

 

[caligirl85]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I've never once heard that OCD caused stalking behavior. This is the first time I've even heard that. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, yes..not regular OCD.

That's why I was curious if she had actually been diagnosed by a doc or if it was more self diagnosis type thing. Her behavior does seem anxiety based on some level but not really OCD. I agree with you...more cluster B. From the info given.

 

[blueta2]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Well her parents are divorced, I thought about that too but shes pretty cool with her parents. the only thing is that after she and her brother were born, the mom wasn't too inclined of taking care of them too much.. but I dont think that's it.

What it could be is that she has thse very maternal instincts with serious nurturing personality or however else you'd describe that, something that her mother didn't have. In any case, since these guy was a deadbeat and had to be bailed out and taken care of like a handicap, I think she developed these feeligns that he couldnt live without her and that he would relapse and do drugs without her, bullshit like that, the guy was dating other chicks while he was with her. This is the same way she treats her dog (now mine too I guess). The dog gets treated like a million dollar baby cuz it has some kind of a heart problem...

So the fact that i was kinda independent and didn't usually ask for help, made her feel like shes just floating in this relationship from one of the very first fights we've had. So i just kinda wrote off on ever doing laundry, cooking or cleaning up after myself and the woman never seemed happier.. its as if I gave her a purpose to her life for as sad as it soudns...

in any case, none of this solves the problem. She's grassping to her past like there's no tommorow and pretends like she doesn't care, which could be a possiblity. I'll be honest, every once in like 8 months, i'll type in my ex's name on fb and see if anything pops up, but to be doing this obsessively is a different story..like I said, there's no cheating in this if anything, the ex bf that is ignoring her email that she sends every now and then is driving her nuts. The whole point to get over someone though, is to just get rid of all signs of that person until it doesn't bother you or ruins your relationships. I know that's what past 7 to 9 years of her life has invloved is time with her ex, be it good or be it absolutely shitty which has been the case for the most part, you can't really change that. These boundaries cant be crossed like that, the guys probobly happy to himself at this point so there's no point taking this to the level of stalking...how do you show a human how to close the chapter, things have never been better for her in her life yet she lets her obsessive behavior ruin everything. There's nothing left to grip and she even knows it...

She's a classic codependent with the way you describe her wanting to fix her addict ex.
Addicts are cheaters and liars and can drive Mother Teresa to go off the deep end.
Show her compassion, talk to her and ask her if she is willing to get help.

Codependency - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[blueta2]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

I would not say she has a personality disorder (cluster B) by only these actions. It takes a lot of crazy behavior to get there.
We don't know enough to say anything cept that she is acting in a codependent way by needed to fix

 

[deco]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

oh! She has the passwords to her ex's accounts?

yea she has access to his ex's ex girlfriends online store and fb and email access... this girl already accused her of stalking..

she also has passwords of 2 other girls and obssesevly creeps her ex's current girlfriends profile but doesn't have a password for that..

i kinda get the fact that she went through rough break up where the guy already had a girlfriend before they actually broke up but come on, he was cheating way before that and if anything hey even more reason not to like him. just because you lost your vcard to him doesn't mean you need to devote yourself to him for rest of his life and do everything as if someones watching over your shoulder...

 

[blueta2]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

Listen she is young, is a little messed up and may need some help to get past this.

Having passwords is not uncommon, but yes, creeping with the password is odd, but you know, I think if anyone here had passwords to someone they knew, they would be tempted to use them. Doesn't make her nuts, it makes her obsessed.
How did she get their passwords?

Confront her, tell her you know. All she may need is a dose of reality and that you know.
It's not creepy to me, but more sad that she is so consumed by this

 

[smurf2]

Re: Aright so my GF is a stalker. I'm officially creeped out...Need some serious advi

show us her tits